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Zion Williamson Laughs And Hides His Face After Being Asked About Maybe Someday Joining The Knicks
The insanely overpowered Duke Blue Devils gave Texas Tech their first loss of the season Thursday night, at Madison Square Garden, in a refreshingly competitive 69–58 game. Among other things, this was humanoid megafauna Zion Williamson’s first career game at the home of the Knicks, and so of course...

The Knicks Are In The Freezing-And-Bloodied-And-Lying-In-Actual-Dog-Poop Stage Of Rebuilding
David Fizdale has a tough job. His Knicks are 9–24 on the season. They’ve lost three straight, they’re one of the two or three worst defensive teams in basketball, and Kristaps Porzingis is out indefinitely. A lesser coach might struggle to conjure motivational messages any more vivid than “the giga...

Devin Booker Joins Rich Tradition Of Humiliating Enes Kanter
Way back in January of last season, Devin Booker was ejected from a game after gently shoving Enes Kanter in the Suns’ 107-85 loss to the Knicks. Kanter, being as exhaustingly online as he is, made an insipid meme depicting Booker holding a large “L” right after the game....

CC Sabathia Got To Curse Out The Rays <i>And</i> Got His $500,000 Bonus
CC Sabathia finished the 2018 regular season six outs shy of a performance bonus in his contract that would have paid him $500,000 for reaching 155 innings. He would have gotten it, had life and Tampa Bay not intervened. In his final start he was rolling through five, having thrown only 55 pitches, ...

Don't Get Too Hopeful About James Dolan Selling The Knicks
There’s a whole lot to chew on (and possibly also retch up) in ESPN reporter Ian O’Connor’s substantial profile of James Dolan up today. Over the course of a two-hour interview, Dolan faced good, tough questions and responded at surprising length. He also displayed his trademark sensitivity and tho...

LeBron Manages To Accidentally Torment Knicks Fans During Dwyane Wade's Farewell
LeBron James shared an NBA court for the last time with longtime buddy and former teammate Dwyane Wade last night. It was a fun and festive game that ended with Wade throwing up a crazy potential game-tying three and then hugging James right as the buzzer sounded. It also, briefly, left Knicks fans ...

The Mets Are Ready To Get Weird
It was, from the outside, a quiet day in Las Vegas for the second day of baseball’s winter meetings. Not much stirring; a chilly day in the desert. But inside? Oh, inside, that stove is red fucking hot....

Guy At Knicks Game Unwisely Tries To Get Team Staffer To Sit Down By Tugging On His Coat
Sure, it’s frustrating to have your view obstructed while trying to watch the scintillating matchup that is Nets-Knicks, but if it’s a staffer on one of the teams, don’t grab the person! Don’t grab anyone, for that matter....

Frank Ntilikina Gave The Knicks A "Please Don't Trade Me" Game
Frank Ntilikina racked up three straight DNPs, even on this tanking team with no immediate ambitions. The Knicks are a buffalo carcass out in the plains, and trade whispers flitted around like flies. It was uncomfortably easy to envision the Knicks’ 2017 lottery pick, who is still a basketball inf...

Mark Sanchez Did Not, In Fact, Know The Offense
Mark Sanchez was responsible for the first touchdown of the game between Washington and New York. Only problem was that it was a pick-six. On a second-and-11 on his team’s one-yard line late in the first quarter, Sanchez’s first pass of the drive was deflected at the line and taken to the house by C...

The Knicks Are Patting Frank Ntilikina's Head And Telling Him To Wait Over Here While Mommy Rings The Convent Doorbell
To the surprise of not one single person on earth, a Knicks team missing Kristaps Porzingis and giving major rotation minutes to all of Tim Hardaway Jr., Mario Hezonja, and Emmanuel Mudiay sucks major ass and is losing lots of games. They’ve dropped two in a row and four of five, and they’ve got the...

Joakim Noah Will Emerge From His Crypt, Sign With The Grizzlies
Joakim Noah played 1,055 minutes for the New York Knicks, earning $72.6 million dollars for his service. Highlights from that time include: a perfect mime of his shooting form by DeMarcus Cousins, a 20-game suspension for violating the league’s anti-drug policy, serious injury woes, fights with coac...

The Mariners Have Pulled The Plug
After a couple of trades in the past 24 hours or so, the Seattle Mariners officially suck again, and they don’t even have fond memories of recent playoff runs to keep them warm over what promises to be several years worth of rebuilding. A run of aggressive, win-now spending—or, anyway, intermittent ...

Jets Overcome 16-0 Lead With Thrilling Come-From-Ahead Loss
For once, everything seemed to be going against the Jets....

Bears Take Giants To Overtime With Buzzer-Beating "Philly Special"
It’s been nearly eight months since the Eagles pulled off their brilliant trick play against the Patriots in last year’s Super Bowl, and teams are still having a hard time seeing it coming. Having used all of their timeouts, the Bears had just one more opportunity—and one more yard—to send their gam...

Odell Beckham Jr. Slings Touchdown To Maintain Perfect Passing Record
The New York Giants are continuing to rely heavily on Odell Beckham Jr., even using him to replace Eli Manning at quarterback. On a 1st-and-10 play from the Bears’ 49-yard line, the Giants ran a fake toss play Beckham, who rolled out looking for an open teammate to throw to. After making a quick cut...

Mario Hezonja Steps Over A Fallen Giannis Antetokounmpo After Breakaway Dunk<em></em>
Mario Hezonja has never been one to be short of confidence. When asked in 2015 if he went to see Lionel Messi play during his stint at Barcelona, the Croatian replied, “Let Messi come to see me.” Three years later, that confidence has yet to fade....

Johnny Boychuk Returned A Lost Tooth And Got Absolutely No Thanks For It
At the end of the second period of a tense, tied Islanders-Bruins game that Boston eventually won in a shootout, New York defenseman Johnny Boychuk made a selfless and nice gesture by picking up his old teammate David Krejci’s tooth when it fell to the ice. And in return, the ungrateful Bruins just ...

Shithead Soccer Fan Appears To Peg MLS Player In The Face With Trash
In the 22nd minute of the second leg of the MLS Eastern Conference Championship, underway Thursday night in New Jersey, a Red Bulls fan in the front row appeared to peg an item—possibly trash or a cup—into the face of Atlanta United midfielder Miguel Almirón:...

Odell Beckham Sounds Fed Up
The Giants were rolling, having put up 346 yards of offense in the first half against the Eagles—the most yards in a half by any Giants team in 33 years. And then, well ... “It was a tale of two halves,” Connor Barwin said, diplomatically. To put it more honestly, the Giants offense pooped the bed....