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Enes Kanter Misses Knicks Practice And Game Due To Grotesque Burger Excess [Update]
Enes Kanter coverage tends to fork into two categories, both of which are true to the man himself and both of which are honestly pretty confusing taken together. One is Kanter Bravely Stands Up To Authoritarian, and the other is Kanter Bungles Badly While Seeking Attention. Perhaps there’s some ove...
Jets Hire Adam Gase In Hopes Of Going 7-9<em></em>
The New York Jets’ head coaching search has reportedly come to an end with the selection of perhaps the most boring name on the market. Despite a list of potential candidates that included exciting assistants like Kansas City’s offensive coordinator Eric Bieniemy or hotshot Cowboys d-backs coach Kri...
Report: Kliff Kingsbury Could Pay His Own Buyout At USC To Pursue NFL Head-Coaching Jobs
USC’s offensive coordinator, Kliff Kingsbury, could resign from his position with the program so that he can get a fair shot at following his NFL aspirations, according to Pro Football Talk’s Mike Florio....
Enes Kanter Will Not Travel With The Knicks To London Because Turkish Spies Might Kill Him
The life of a political dissident can be rather strenuous to a person’s work schedule. No one in the NBA knows this better than Knicks center Enes Kanter, an outspoken critic of Turkish president Recep Tayyip Erdogan and the government he presides over. After his team’s win over the Lakers on Friday...
The Islanders Have Averted Disaster
Six months after they were dumped by their captain, John Tavares—the man who was both their best player and the most crucial piece of their long-term plan, who had publicly assured everyone two years ago that he would not leave them for his boyhood favorite franchise—the New York Islanders are one ...
The Giants Are Maybe Ready To Maybe Maybe Maybe Move On From Eli Manning
Giants general manager and ornery math-hater Dave Gettleman did his year-end press conference on Wednesday. Predictably, the questions tended to angle for information about the team’s quarterback situation, where Eli Manning has become a tomato can while somehow also putting up one of the more conve...
Maybe A Troy Tulowitzki Signing Will Tide You Over While You Wait On Manny Machado
We’ve been preheating the damn oven for two months, but now that it’s 2019 perhaps we are finally entering the hot stove season we’ve been so rudely denied? The Yankees have signed a multi-time all-star, multi–gold glove winning shortstop!...just not that one....
The Jets Failed To Clean House
Todd Bowles was doomed. That much was clear seven weeks ago, after a 41-10 home loss to the Bills, who were starting a fourth-string quarterback in another lost season of their own. The question for the Jets on this Black Monday is why general manager Mike Maccagnan got a reprieve....
A Transformer Exploded In New York And The Videos Rule Extremely Hard
I am told this spectacular light show over New York City tonight was caused by a transformer explosion at a power station in Queens, and not by a massive meteor burning up in the atmosphere, nor by slimy space aliens parking their city-sized mothership over the city and preparing the invasion. One t...
Jets Deny That They'll Try To Woo Milk Fiend Jim Harbaugh
Though this isn’t as strange a rumor as Condoleezza Rice to the Browns, ProFootballTalk’s Mike Florio says a league source told him that after the season concludes, the New York Jets want to throw a buttload of money at Michigan head coach Jim Harbaugh and see if he’s interested. Huh!...
Zion Williamson Laughs And Hides His Face After Being Asked About Maybe Someday Joining The Knicks
The insanely overpowered Duke Blue Devils gave Texas Tech their first loss of the season Thursday night, at Madison Square Garden, in a refreshingly competitive 69–58 game. Among other things, this was humanoid megafauna Zion Williamson’s first career game at the home of the Knicks, and so of course...
The Knicks Are In The Freezing-And-Bloodied-And-Lying-In-Actual-Dog-Poop Stage Of Rebuilding
David Fizdale has a tough job. His Knicks are 9–24 on the season. They’ve lost three straight, they’re one of the two or three worst defensive teams in basketball, and Kristaps Porzingis is out indefinitely. A lesser coach might struggle to conjure motivational messages any more vivid than “the giga...
Devin Booker Joins Rich Tradition Of Humiliating Enes Kanter
Way back in January of last season, Devin Booker was ejected from a game after gently shoving Enes Kanter in the Suns’ 107-85 loss to the Knicks. Kanter, being as exhaustingly online as he is, made an insipid meme depicting Booker holding a large “L” right after the game....
CC Sabathia Got To Curse Out The Rays <i>And</i> Got His $500,000 Bonus
CC Sabathia finished the 2018 regular season six outs shy of a performance bonus in his contract that would have paid him $500,000 for reaching 155 innings. He would have gotten it, had life and Tampa Bay not intervened. In his final start he was rolling through five, having thrown only 55 pitches, ...
Don't Get Too Hopeful About James Dolan Selling The Knicks
There’s a whole lot to chew on (and possibly also retch up) in ESPN reporter Ian O’Connor’s substantial profile of James Dolan up today. Over the course of a two-hour interview, Dolan faced good, tough questions and responded at surprising length. He also displayed his trademark sensitivity and tho...
LeBron Manages To Accidentally Torment Knicks Fans During Dwyane Wade's Farewell
LeBron James shared an NBA court for the last time with longtime buddy and former teammate Dwyane Wade last night. It was a fun and festive game that ended with Wade throwing up a crazy potential game-tying three and then hugging James right as the buzzer sounded. It also, briefly, left Knicks fans ...
The Mets Are Ready To Get Weird
It was, from the outside, a quiet day in Las Vegas for the second day of baseball’s winter meetings. Not much stirring; a chilly day in the desert. But inside? Oh, inside, that stove is red fucking hot....
Guy At Knicks Game Unwisely Tries To Get Team Staffer To Sit Down By Tugging On His Coat
Sure, it’s frustrating to have your view obstructed while trying to watch the scintillating matchup that is Nets-Knicks, but if it’s a staffer on one of the teams, don’t grab the person! Don’t grab anyone, for that matter....
Frank Ntilikina Gave The Knicks A "Please Don't Trade Me" Game
Frank Ntilikina racked up three straight DNPs, even on this tanking team with no immediate ambitions. The Knicks are a buffalo carcass out in the plains, and trade whispers flitted around like flies. It was uncomfortably easy to envision the Knicks’ 2017 lottery pick, who is still a basketball inf...
Mark Sanchez Did Not, In Fact, Know The Offense
Mark Sanchez was responsible for the first touchdown of the game between Washington and New York. Only problem was that it was a pick-six. On a second-and-11 on his team’s one-yard line late in the first quarter, Sanchez’s first pass of the drive was deflected at the line and taken to the house by C...