newyorkyankees Page 56 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

My 3,000th Hit
Derek Jeter gave me the only baseball I ever got at a game. It was spring training in Tampa, and I was watching the Yankees practice from behind the dugout. Jeter jogged in with a ball, about to give it to the crowd. At first, I started to wave for it, but then, noticing the other 20 similarly aged ...

Presenting The World’s Dick-Suckingest Derek Jeter Column
In a world where every member of the sports media lines up enthusiastically to lap up whatever fluid comes out of Derek Jeter's penis, we now have a new champion when it comes to Jeter's canonization. It comes from Ian O'Connor at ESPN, and it made Ken Tremendous cry. Come take a look at this shit....

Presenting The Two Most Preposterous Sentences Ever Written About Derek Jeter, As Of 11:06 A.M. Today
Would you like to read the two silliest sentences ever written about Derek Jeter in the mainstream press? Two sentences so silly that if you told me someone had liberated all the drunk tanks within the Beltway and set the good folks loose inside whatever inflatable bouncer passes for the USA Today n...

The Yankees' Ticket Market Thinks Derek Jeter Is Ted Williams Or Something
It's pretty easy to estimate the number of hits a player will get over a small number of at-bats. For instance, any player batting between .125 and .375 obtains, to the nearest whole number, one hit in four AB. Walks complicate things, but not much. That's why, with Derek Jeter sitting three hits aw...

Doris, A Die-Hard Yankees Fan, Sends Letter To Indians Pitcher In Which She Calls Fausto Carmona A "Spic"
Tribe reliever Joe Smith Tweeted this piece of mail pitcher Mitch Talbot received from an aggrieved, die-hard Yankees fan named Doris who penned this delightful rant. (H/T WRXchad)...

Derek Jeter Responsible For All 27 Outs In Yankee Loss
Some history was made last night. In his return from the DL, Derek Jeter reclaimed his leadoff spot and promptly went 0-for-4. But that's not news: Jeter's gone 0-for-4 plenty of times this year. Plenty. What is news is that the Yankees only managed to squeeze out four hits against Indians pitching....

The Refs Clearly Aren't Watching The Women's World Cup Either
Your morning roundup for July 4, the day we added needed precision to our dog shit inspections....

If The Yankees Don't Let Anyone Say Derek Jeter Is Washed Up, He Won't Be Washed Up
Derek Jeter's injury-rehab assignment to Double-A Trenton is due to begin Saturday night. He's going to do great. At least, you'd better say he's going to do great, if you want to keep writing about the Yankees....

Supreme Court Wisely Declines To Hear Roger Clemens' Dumbass Appeal
Reassuring news out of DC today: the US Supreme Court—which hears less than one percent of the cases appealed there anyway—has declined to hear Roger Clemens' appeal re: his silly defamation case against former trainer Brian McNamee. Many moons ago, Clemens sued McNamee after he dished on Clemens' s...

Fresh Off Framing Richard Kimble For Uxoricide, One-Armed Man Catches Foul Ball
We saw this live on Friday but lacked the technical capabilities and the commitment to the job to track down the video until now....

Why Your Fans Are Weird: The Bunny Man Of Yankee Stadium
We've seen the Bunny Man at enough Yankee games over the years to know he's got season tickets, and the felt rabbit handpuppet is doing his thing 100 percent of the time. Throughout the entire game the bunny sits on his lap, watching the game—he moves the puppet's head to follow the action on the ...

Watch The Marlins Catcher Successfully Throw The Ball At Shane Victorino's Head
Your morning roundup for June 18, the day "propaganda vans touted the importance of stability" in the Jeans Capital of China. (Video H/T, Jimmy Greek)...

Excitement, Anticipation As Jeter Approaches 2,354-Games-Played Milestone
If the weather holds up tonight, Derek Jeter will play in his 2,354th major league game, passing Jose Cruz and moving into a tie for 90th on the all-time list. Cruz, the outfielder who spent most of his 19-year career in Houston, last played in 1988....

Yankee Fans, Forever Alone
Your morning roundup for June 10, the day we went swimsuit shopping. Image via Scott....

Joba Will Be Neithuh Startuh Nor Relievuh Fuh A While
Everybody's favorite so-so Yankee swingman, Joba Chamberlain, was diagnosed today with a torn elbow ligament that will likely require Tommy John surgery....

Derek Jeter Leads AL Shortstops in All-Star Voting, NL Responds By Adding Extra Infielder
It's stupid to get angry at one particular casualty of the fans' All-Star Game voting, because they annually and reliably fail to select the deserving candidates at each position. But Derek Jeter's early accumulation of 40% more votes than the second-place AL shortstop is just too awful to let go....

Here's A Photo Of The Seattle Mariners Streaker In The Loving Grasp Of Three Committed Security Guards
On a night when Chone Figgins lowered the price of Widmer beer at one Seattle bar to $1.97 (0-5 in the Mariners win over the Yankees), a streaker was the third of four fans to run on the field. He apparently took a shine to Derek Jeter in the eighth inning but the shortstop declined his advances. F...

Yankees Broadcaster John Sterling Is Down With The Black Panthers
The Wall Street Journal's Mike Sielski decided to get in on Yankee Legend Instability Week (brought to you by Utz!), with a story today about longtime Yankees radio voice John Sterling, whose contract expires at the end of the year....

Joe Girardi Explains Growing Old Together To Jorge Posada While His Mistress Bats Leadoff
A play, courtesy of the New York Yankees, in six vexing acts:...