nf Page 1177 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

John Elway Is Always Watching You, Jay Cutler
We're hardly a booster of the "hard" "drinking" Jay Cutler, but as Jake Plummer can tell you, it's not easy being a starting quarterback in Denver. (Boy, we're all about Colorado today, aren't we?) Particularly when John Elway is second-guessing him all the time....

South Park, Cheating, And You
“In America, it’s OK to cheat as long as you cheat your way to the top.” What does Stand and Deliver have in common with Bill Belichick? South Park explains....

Bang The Gong Slowly; Olympic Torch A No-Show In SF
San Francisco mayor Gavin Newsom didn't exactly win friends and influence people on Wednesday when he decided to play an elaborate game of Hide the Salami with the Olympic Torch. The relay's only North American stop was scheduled to be a happy, glorious people's jog from AT&T Park, down the waterfr...

Carl Eller Doesn't Know How Fast He Was Driving
Last week, Daulerio gave you a few tips on how to make it through a potential DUI stop. Former Minnesota Vikings Hall of Famer Carl Eller has a new one, one we hadn't considered: Simply punching the police officer in the face....

The Thumbtack Turns 10
The Tennessee Titans are turning 10 years old this year, which means we have been dealing with that ridiculous logo for a decade now. Old, old, old, all of us....

Piling On Chris Henry, Just Once More
Like Tuffy said last night on our radio show, Chris Henry is like Pacman Jones without the Eddie Haskell-type contrition, and it's just way more depressing. And now that he's been cut by the Cincinnati Bengals, it's no longer really a sports story, but a troubled human interest story. Which makes th...

I'm Going To The Olympic Torch Relay ... What Could Possibly Go Wrong?
The San Francisco Board of Supervisors recently announced the route that the Olympic Torch will take through The City this coming Tuesday; a waterfront jaunt beginning at AT&T Park's McCovey Cove and ending at Justin Herman Plaza. Since I'm going to be in that neck of the woods anyway, I'm going to ...

Don't Even THINK About It, Brett
You know, this is gonna come as a shock to you — and we do hope you are sitting down — but apparently Brett Favre (seriously!) turns out (you ready?) to be (here it comes!) thinking of unretiring. We know, right?!...

Ron Mexico's Prison Pen Pal
Considering how much Falcons owner Arthur Blank stuck by Ron Mexico for years, before that dog-fighting business, it should perhaps be little surprise that he's still corresponding with Vick while he's in the slammer. How's he doing, anyway? Has he organized a team to beat the prison guards yet?...

Brian Kenny's Media Approval Rating Went Up A Little Bit
"That's it," Chad said, which startled Kenny. He then attempted a follow-up question which also went nowhere. Again, Kenny tries to sign-off gracefully and, again, Chad doesn't go away....

Giants Show Everyone Their Merkin
Tim Lincecum and Merkin Valdez, what an unbeatable duo. Both were instrumental in the Giants' first win of the season on Wednesday, 2-1 over the Dodgers. Witness this AP paragraph, which is my pick for paragraph of the year so far: The Dodgers announced less than 20 minutes before game time that Hon...

Chris Henry. Arrested. Again. Really, Chris? Really? (UPDATE: And Now He's Gone)
Chris Henry is going to be arrested again. This is a statement you probably could have made at any point in the last, oh, three years. But it's one you can make specifically for today. Because Chris Henry is being arrested today....

A New Approach On How To Get Out Of Those Pesky DUIs
Most of us have probably made the ridiculously stupid decision to drink and drive at some point in our lives. Some of us may have even been pulled over, which makes the stupid decision become an expensive and humiliating one. (Here's a tip: Refuse the breathalzyer.) But even if those circumstances d...

She Has Yadier's Ass and Bengie's Hips
Are you a moderately attractive female baseball fan who loves her pink jersey, but dreams of a newer, sluttier look for your drunken summer afternoons in the bleachers? If so, then you should probably send me pictures of yourself in various stages of undress take note of Joe Sports Fan's rather bod...

Hugh Douglas Wants To Kill Me
Being a sports reporter is, at times, an absolutely horrible job. Sure you get to watch games, travel, and interact with athletes, but there is a horrendous downside. (Which is pretty much everything else.) And this is never more disturbingly clear than when a reporter has their first (or 50th ) awf...

Matt Leinart Is Taking His Offseason Film Work Quite Seriously
Before we get into all the NCAA Tournament and Opening Day business, we thought we'd start your morning off with Matt Leinart doing his Matt Leinart thing. The Dirty has details of this whole evening, which included Nick Lachey, under-21 ladies and, of course, hot tubs....

Hipsters In Big Wheels — A Regressive Delight
Bring Your Own Big Wheel, an annual event for wacky funsters to relive the childhood they never left is typically held on San Francisco's winding Lombard Street. This year's event went down Easter Sunday on Potrero Hill, which The Backyard said is probably more treacherous. Not being from the Bay A...

'Hawks Fan Hocks Bitter Loogie
Southerners and the Civil War. That's perhaps the one group of people more single-mindedly embittered by an event than Seahawks fans and Super Bowl XL. "How dare those refs flag Darrell Jackson for pushing off Chris Hope directly in front of an official!?" "Calling Sean Locklear for a clear holding ...

Sweet 16 Pants Party: Texas Vs. Stanford
Texas Longhorns (30-6) vs. Stanford Cardinal (28-7) When: 7:27 p.m. ET tonight Where: Houston...

Baseball Season Preview: San Francisco Giants
For the third consecutive season, we are proud to introduce the Deadspin Baseball Season Previews. Yes, baseball is awfully close now; heck, they've even played real games in Japan....