nf Page 1264 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Brett Favre Will Do Something, Someday, Maybe
We swear to God, we just got this news alert from ESPN.com about Brett Favre's "retirement" "plans."...
Brian Fuentes' Curious Entrance Music
If you've been bewildered by the "controversy" involving the use of "Enter Sandman" as the closer's music for both Mariano Rivera and Billy Wagner, we're happy to direct you to a closer's music story that actually has some teeth....
Bad News Bears
We hate to get all Jim Calhoun on you today, but this kind of rankles us: why was Maine forced to play the University of Wisconsin at the Bradley Center in Milwaukee in one of college hockey's Frozen Four semifinals? "It's a tough environment to come into," Maine senior captain Greg Moore told the...
Kornheisers On A Plane
One of the most common questions we received yesterday, in the wake of the release of the 2006 NFL schedule, was: How's new MNF broadcaster Tony Kornheiser going to get out to Washington for the two games in Seattle? The notoriously airplane-phobic (and Cruiser-less) "PTI" host seemed to be in a s...
Look! It's A Big Sheet Of NFL Lists!
Ordinarily we make fun of ESPN overkill around these parts, but we won't lie to you: We have absolute no problem with the network's around-the-clock, BREAKING NEWS, live live live! coverage of the release of the complete NFL schedule. If you're not around a TV, it's really something to watch; they...
Anybody Actually Watching This Show (Other Than Us)?
Here's the thing about the ESPN "reality" series Bonds on Bonds; everyone seems to have an opinion on it, but practically no one has actually seen it. Even Barry himself missed the debut episode on Tuesday. We don't know what the ratings were, but they can't be good; ESPN went into damage control ...
Needling Barry, Day Two
Sorry, we can't show you any fresh anti-Bonds signs today. The Giants' game with the Padres at Petco Park was postponed; the first Padres rainout since 1998, and only the 16th in their 38-year history. Just as well, because the ESPN reality series Bonds on Bonds debuted that evening, and who wants...
Culpepper Now Free To Have Naked Women Dance In His General Vicinity (But There, And Only There)
New Dolphins quarterback Daunte Culpepper need not worry about the potential new ramifications of the term "lap dance" from jail; he has been cleared of all charges in the sex boat incident. His former teammate Moe Williams was not so lucky; he'll still have to strand trial, along with decidedly m...
It's Never The Crime, It's Always The Coverup ...
We know football season is five months off, but it may take that long to unravel this mystery. At the risk of going all CSI: Crime Scene Investigation on you, we present the photo above, sent in from a reader with the following note attached:...
Needling Barry, Day One
When we first heard that the Giants would open their season in San Diego, we were a little disappointed. Who's going to rag on Barry Bonds in San Diego? It's the most laid-back of all cities; it makes Indianapolis look like Baghdad outside of the Green Zone. But we were wrong. San Diego, you didn'...
Adventures In Advertising
He may be an unspeakable cad in most parts of our great land, but San Francisco is still doggedly clutching Barry Bonds to its bosom. Call it denial, pride, myopia, whatever; from San Francisco's point of view, Bonds may be a cheater, but damn it, he's our cheater. For proof, let's head over to th...
The Best Way To Personalize Your Plates
Spotted by a reader on the Upper West Side of Manhattan this weekend. This is not our car. Oh, but if it were....
The Best Damn... April Fools Joke.
Okay, I was had, and I am dumb A couple of readers have written in (and my thanks to them) to tell me that the "fight" between Michael Strahan and Tom Arnold on The Best Damn Sports Show was, in fact, an April Fools Joke. My congratulations to everyone involved. I didn't think those guys were capa...
Best Damn Sports Show Fight
So if you missed Friday night's episode of The Best Damn Sports Show (and how could you?), check about the above video. Tom Arnold and Michael Strahan get into kind of a little sissy chair fight. And Michael Strahan did not win. He's on the ground making noises like he's hurt, cursing at Arnold, who...
Another Great Staring-Into-The-Camera Rap
"I have one thing to tell you, T.O.: I. Hate. You. You like writing disses? I can write them right back to you."...
Your NL West "Preview"
You know what? This might sound kind of crazy, but we think it's possible that the NL West might not be any better than it was last year. The only way there's any team better than last year's Padres is if Los Steroido somehow stays healthy (and eligible) all season ... and even then we're kind of pu...
Oh, You Didn't Forget About Kyle, Did You?
He might not drink like a champion, but his efforts have nevertheless clearly reached the level of "epic" and "historic" in recent years. His name is Kyle Orton. He is but one man, but his achievements will outlast us all....
Join Terrell Owens' Special Club
We suppose, in a roundabout way, that it makes sense for fans of Terrell Owens to be fans of Terrell Owens, and Terrell Owens only; rooting for the team that your favorite player T.O. suits up for seems kind of beside the point....
Dhani Jones Has Happy Feet That Can't Be Beat
We have been called a "chronicler of athlete misdeeds," though we think we're a little more optimistic than that; we prefer "chronicle of athlete malfeasance." Or even "athlete tomfoolery." Whichever; pick your poison....