nfl-playoffs Page 5 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Where The Hell Was Todd Gurley?
The last thing anybody wants to hear on this awful Monday morning is “Bill Belichick takes away your best player,” but, uh, that’s exactly what he did to the Rams’ dismal offense in the Patriots’ 13-3 Super Bowl win. Nothing at all went right anywhere for Los Angeles when they had the ball, but thei...
Mondo Fucking Dumbass Insanely Wrong On Super Bowl Prediction
Here’s CBS NFL analyst Tony Romo, seer of seers, prognosticator of prognosticators, giving his Super Bowl prediction from last week. Check out Nostradamus over here!...
Well, That Sucked
At no time was Super Bowl 53 as compelling, entertaining, or satisfying as that video of a naked guy pooping while flipping into a lake. Sunday evening would have been better spent watching that again. But we watch the Super Bowls we are given, so our options are either to admire the defensive domin...
I, The One Person Who Still Doesn't Believe In The Patriots, Know They'll Finally Be Exposed As A Sham In Their Third Straight Super Bowl
After my previous missive, one written before the New England Patriots defeated the Kansas City Chiefs in the AFC title game and earned a trip to the Super Bowl, I had many common oafs criticize my prognostication through electronic mail and other various mediums. You lummox, these messages would st...
Hate The Patriots For The Right Reason
The idea as pitched was to do one more takeout of the essential evil that is the New England Patriots collective—because, yeah, that’s never been done before. Up until now, it’s been one hagiography after another, because the Patriots have been so damned cuddly and cheek-pinchable. The helmet logo i...
A Bunch Of People Close To The Saints Desperately Want Roger Goodell To Step In And Screw This Up
Late Thursday afternoon, Benjamin Watson put out an all-too-serious complaint about the blown pass interference/unnecessary roughness call the Saints didn’t get in the NFC Championship matchup against the Rams. In a screenshot posted on Twitter, Watson called on commissioner Roger Goodell to step i...
Football Needs Blown Calls
To head off the inevitable whataboutism: Yes, the Rams got hosed too, by multiple missed penalties. But none of those were as blatant, as obvious in realtime, or as directly would have changed the outcome of the game, as the missed pass interference by Rams cornerback Nickell Robey-Coleman on Saints...
Todd Gurley Says He Didn't Play Much Because He Was "Sorry As Hell"
One of the weirdest things that happened during yesterday’s conference championship games was the disappearance of Rams star running back Todd Gurley. The franchise running back had a career-low five total touches from scrimmage, and spent most of the game standing on the sideline. His absence from ...
Tony Romo's Predictive Powers Are A True Marvel
Tony Romo’s ability to sit in the broadcast booth and accurately predict what’s about to happen on the field is something we’re all familiar with, but it was still hard not to impressed by the run he went on during the fourth quarter of the AFC Championship game, which earned him the nickname “Romos...
The Only Thing That Can Ruin A Great Football Game Is Football
NFL fans could not have asked for a better pair of conference championship games. The four best teams in the league had all advanced, and the two remaining games promised to feature beautiful, high-scoring football played by some of the best young and old players the league has to offer. We got some...
Fuck This Fucking Shit
The Patriots beat the Chiefs 37-31 in an overtime instant classic at Kansas City, clinching the AFC title and a Super Bowl berth against the Rams. Tom Brady engineered long drives down the field at the end of regulation and in overtime—both of which ended with rushing touchdowns by Rex Burkhead....
Julian Edelman’s Fingertips Taketh, Giveth, Taketh Away<em></em>
Julian Edelman’s hands ruled the most consequential sequence so far in tonight’s AFC title game. First, down 17-14, the Chiefs punted to the Patriots receiver, who appeared to muff the punt and set Kansas City up for a prime scoring opportunity. It seemed like to me on the replay that he did touch t...
There's Only One Way This Could Get Worse
It is absolutely rotten that the Saints’ season was ended at least in part by two blown pass interference calls, including an inexplicable one in the last two minutes. Rams corner Nickell Robey-Coleman, who smashed Saints receiver Tommylee Lewis in the head while the ball was in the air, said of the...
Rams Head To Super Bowl While Saints Are Left To Be Haunted By Terrible Missed Penalty
Look: the officials didn’t make Drew Brees throw a horrific interception in overtime, and they didn’t make Rams kicker Greg Zuerlein nail a 57-yard game-winning field goal despite a low snap a few plays later. In fact, after a quarter and a half where the Saints jumped out to a 13-3 lead and the Ram...
Rams Give Up A Touchdown To Taysom Goddamn Hill<em></em>
The Saints have been force-feeding the ball to their Tebowian backup quarterback Taysom Hill in crucial situations, and head coach Sean Payton’s obsession with Hill paid off today in the third quarter against the Rams. Hill lined up wide on third and goal for a screen, and Drew Brees found one of hi...
The Fan Who Keeps Whistling During Rams-Saints Is Impressively Loud
You’re not hearing things—it does sound like a whistle is blowing before every Rams offensive play in today’s NFC title game. That noise is very likely being made at least in part by a superfan named Leroy “Whistle Monsta” Mitchell, who’s been doing it at Saints home games for 22 years. The whistle ...
Fox Tried To Save Us From Seeing Michael Thomas's Butt
On the first drive of the Rams-Saints game, the broadcast booth at FOX sprung into action to prevent the youth of America from seeing something ugly on a football field: Michael Thomas’s ass. ...
What's Up With These NFL Next Gen Stats?
Dating back a few years, the NFL has put microchips in players’ pads to track their movements in games. Since the beginning of the 2017 season, the company that sends you shit in the mail and provides the architecture for a lot of the internet has slapped its name on the statistics generated by thos...
It's Me, I'm The One Person Who Still Doesn't Believe In The Patriots
The New England Patriots, the second playoff seed of their conference, are preparing for Sunday’s AFC title game against the Kansas City Chiefs by pushing the idea that no one believes in them, a team that’s been to eight straight AFC title games. You might be asking, Who are they actually calling o...