nfl Page 1003 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Willie Roaf Opts For Retirement
If you're an undergrad sociology student at UC-Irvine, you're about to get a big-ass classmate. Chiefs tackle Willie Roaf announced his retirement yesterday, as well as his intentions of going back to school to get the sociology degree he didn't finish at Louisiana Tech....

The Peter King-KSK Standoff
The rockers over at Kissing Suzy Kobler would like to let you know that they are reasonable people. All they want out of life is to make a few humorous comments about sports, go home to their families and perhaps enjoy a Krispy Kreme. Or three. But even reasonable people can be pushed to the edge, a...

Look, They Have Fun, Difficult To Understand Stats In Football Too!
It was a happy day at Deadspin World Headquarters yesterday. Our copy of Pro Football Prospectus arrived....

Honestly, They Better Sign Isaiah Rider Soon
Admit it: You wouldn't be surprised, at this point, if Carson Palmer was nailed for sticking up a Dairy Queen somewhere just outside Blue Ash, would you?...

Daniel Snyder Appreciates Your Checkbook
We have always found the notion of Fan Appreciation Days amusing. Even though every single salary of every single player in every single sport is paid for exclusively by fans — whether it be tickets, merchandise, cable bills, whatever — big-time sports still feel the need to acknowledge the fans o...

A Look At The Sunday NBC Crew
Earlier today, new NBC broadcaster — it feels weird to type that; we haven't quite adjusted to the NFL being back on NBC — John Madden went to visit Oakland Raiders camp and hang out with his former player Art Shell, the new coach (again) of the Raiders. Since it's a slow, non-sexual-harassing day...

How To Ruin Fantasy Football
It is just us, or is everyone pumping fantasy football a couple of weeks too early this year? Both Sports Illustrated and ESPN: The Magazine have already come out with their fantasy season previews — SI's included a cover photo of a guy who might not actually play for his team next year — even thoug...

Emmitt Smith Encourages You To Keep Looking At Him
We didn't actually watch it, and we don't have video or anything, but apparently the Miss Universe contest was on NBC last night. The only real interesting thing about beauty contests — other than, "Will one of them fall down? Please?" — is the celebrity judges, and last night's battle had some do...

A Bengal Gets The Taser
In their ongoing quest to become Blazers East, the Cincinnati Bengals have seen another member of their football team get arrested. And DT Matthias Askew has done it in grand style, somehow managing to get tasered after a parking violation. I am applauding politely....

Ben Roethlisberger, Pure Country
Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger, fresh off his apparent facial reconstruction that has somehow made him much more normal looking (and vaguely lobotomized) than he did before his motorcycle accident, is going to appear in a country music video. That in itself is no big deal. It's...

The Return Of Portis' Head
We supposed part of us should be depressed by the news that Clinton Portis is taking his strangely brilliant "characters" from last season's Redskins press conferences and using them to shill for the NFL Network, but we can't quite summon up much outrage. Honestly? We're just happy to see the char...

Men, Keep Your Wives From Bill Belichick
OK, so it turns out that Patriots coach Bill Belichick is quite the swordsman....

Kellen Winslow, Soldier (In Pads, And With Free School And A Big Contract And Little Chance Of Actually, You Know, Being Killed)
So we'd never actually seen this old video of Kellen Winslow Jr., after a Miami game against Tennessee. He is answering a question about whether or not a player he leveled with a devastating block was hurt. And we get confirmation that Kellen Winslow, tight end for an Ohio football team, is a soldie...

It's Good To Be Jimmy Johnson
Every year or so, former Cowboys and Dolphins coach Jimmy Johnson is forced to deny rumors that he's returning to coaching, usually with some sort of "I'm having too much fun relaxing on my boat!" response that does little to squash talk....

Dan Marino May Look Much Different Next Year On CBS
If you're not familiar with PostSecret.com, it's a website that invites the general public to send in their deepest, darkest secrets on a postcard, and then they publish them on their website. It's a popular website. There's a book in publication, and a lot of people, I suppose, find it therapeuatic...

Cowboys Safety Keith Davis Shot
Dallas Cowboys safety Keith Davis is recovering from two gunshot wounds sustained last night during a drive-by shooting on a Dallas highway. His condition is listed as stable, and despite being shot in the head and in the thigh, his injuries aren't considering life-threatening....

Do Not Date Flozell Adams, Girls
A Web site we hadn't heard of before called Don't Date Him, Girl purports to list the names and descriptions of guys that girls should, you know, not date, girl. Web sites like this make us nervous, so after we searched for our own name and the names of almost all our friends, we were pointed to t...

Run, You Stupid Linebacker, RUN!
Just to be clear on this, if some guy stabbed us, in a bowling alley or elsewhere, we would never stop crying. We're a bleeder. We would wail and scream and whine and plead and any other verb that connotes sniveling wimpdom....

Brian Urlacher's "Domestic" Woes
You know, people keep telling us about this Brian Urlacher custody trial business in Chicago, and it just makes us uncomfortable. Like many football fans, we like to think of Urlacher as an old-school, square-jawed bruiser cut from the Butkus mold. So when we start reading stuff like this —...

Big Ben's Radio Buddy
We think you can probably tell a lot about an athlete by whom he/she chooses for their first post-big-career-moment interview. Which "reporter" shows them enough deference, respect and suck-up-itude to be handed that big scoop?...