nfl Page 1013 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Polls: You Love You Some Sheriff
Well, the readers have spoken, and in yet another trouncing — we never have any close polls around here, which we suppose is our fault — your favorite Clinton Portis costume is Sheriff Gonna Getcha, with 38.1 percent of the vote. (We think it's the Led Zeppelin shirt; impossible to resist it.) Sec...

Throwing The Book At Greg Gall
Some more news from our old friend Greg Gall, the guy who has spent an inordinate amount of time drinking with Deadspin readers. (By the way, we will be in Cincinnati for Thanksgiving week, so Greg, hey, drop us a line, we'll chat.) Ordinarily, when American Heroes like Gall bolt onto the field, t...

Vote: Which Is The Best Portis Alter Ego?
For those of you who haven't been paying attention to the gradual, meticulous mental breakdown of Clinton Portis, the Redskins running back has been dressing up as a new "character" — and, Method-like, staying in character during interviews — for each media conference every Thursday. (It is to Por...

Until Next Year, Donovan
The news just broke, if it can be counting as "news" or "breaking:" Eagles quarterback Donovan McNabb will miss the rest of the season after having surgery on his hernia, a surgery that sounds deeply unpleasant all kinds of thoughts here, not the least of which that by the time McNabb plays again,...

NFL Roundup: Lovie's Kind Of Town
• So here's something crazy: With a break or two, the Chicago Bears could have playoff home-field advantage in the NFC. Still, whether they win the Super Bowl or not, "Ditka" is always going to sound cooler than "Lovie." • We're really starting to maybe think that Chesnning might really lead the C...

Chad Johnson Loves Even Non-Lesbian Cheerleaders
We know the Bengals lost yesterday, but it's pretty obvious now that Chad Johnson is our favorite player in the NFL. He has brought a new, brilliant quality to touchdown celebrations: The backstory. Earlier this year, Johnson did the Riverdance against the Bears that might very well have been mock...

20 Years After Theismann And LT
WSJ's The Daily Fix alerted us to anniversary that, like just about everything does anymore, succeeded in making us feel old: Today is the 20th anniversary of Lawrence Taylor's brutal hit on Joe Theismann, breaking his leg and ending his career. (The Washington Post has a fantastic story about thi...

Clinton Portis. Clinton Portis. Say It With Us Now.
If it's Friday, it must be time to check in on the weird shit Clinton Portis came up with yesterday. We've documented Portis' antics extensively, and he did not disappoint yesterday with his new character: "Dollah Bill." This character's a little less inspired than "Dr. 'I Don't Know'" and "Sheri...

T.O.'s Last, Desperate Plea
Right now, members of the NFL Players Union (along with Terrell Owens and agent spawn Drew Rosenhaus) are sitting in an conference room in the Airport Marriott outside Philadelphia, arguing with the Eagles to arbitrator Richard Bloch that he should be able to play again this season. As fans, we're...

Your Source For All Things Evil
It's been around for a while now, but we thought we'd wait a couple of days, until people were starting to forget about the guy, and then we'd drop this on you: FireDrewRosenhaus.com. The site's not just a funny URL, though; it's pretty much the best resource we've found for anti-Rosenhaus vitriol...

Drunk Fat Dudes With Guns
We'll admit: We've been behind on this whole Chicago Bears fighting each other at a shooting range story. We're not sure why: It just kind of fell in that strange corner of the couch where we're always losing the remote. But let's get you up to speed....

Someone Get One For Marty Mornhinweg, Just For Fun
This is a bit trifling so early in the morning, but we don't care, it makes us happy. The auction just closed, but since there were no bids, we're sure it'll come back up: An eBay auction where you can buy Detroit Lions helmet buggy. It is "larger than a golf cart; about the size of a small car" a...

Athlete Run-Ins: Mistaken Identity With O.J. And Nicole
Continuing our series of great athlete run-in stories, we present winner No. 2, Mahwah, N.J.'s Steve Frischer and his obviously old yet still gripping tale of running into slashing halfback O.J. Simpson and his lovely wife, Nicole Brown Simpson....

Authors With Pure Hearts: Jere Longman
It has been brought to our attention that, as much as people might like our Why Your Hometown Columnist Sucks feature, sometimes it's nice to point out good sportswriting. We agree; we're very friendly people and love great sportswriting as much, if not more, than anyone. Henceforth, we introduce ou...

Athlete Run-Ins: Craps With Jeff Fisher
Last week, we held a contest for readers to send in their best athlete run-in stories, and, we're proud to say, we got some doozies. We'll be running a couple a day on the site over the next couple of weeks, and we suspect you will enjoy them....

T.O.'s Suddenly Fluid Finances
Yesterday, we told you about Eagles wide receiver Terrell Owens selling his Moorestown, N.J. home for $4.3 million. Well, as some of you pointed out, T.O. apparently is gonna go homeless for a while; he's selling his Atlanta home too. This one, probably because of that insane Georgia real estate m...

Peter King, Hello!
We have always liked Sports Illustrated's Peter King, up until a couple of years ago, at least. He was plugged in, incredible for information, and had that everyman quality we Web people enjoy. But — and maybe because he's gotten all thin now, or maybe it's the breakneck schedule he keeps — he is ...

T.O. Needs Your Spare Change
You'd heard that Terrell Owens' house was for sale, but now you can see it all official-like: T.O's Moorestown, N.J. home, at 40 Landing Court, is right there, with an asking price of a mere $4,399,000. (Strangely enough, we think T.O. could probably use the money right now.)...

"We Know This Is Off The Subject A Bit, But How Much Do You Think We Could Bench?"
We don't know if Bills fan Nate Neubauer of Lancaster, N.Y., has seen the brilliant Best In Show, but we certainly hope so....

The Woe Of The Eagles Fan
There was a moment last night, during the Eagles' season-crushing 21-20 loss to the Cowboys, when you really grasped just how difficult it must be to be an Eagles fan. Ordinarily, we scoff when fans of successful teams complain about their suffering; we root for the Arizona freaking Cardinals, so ...