nfl Page 225 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Dad Made The Very Sleepy Chargers Get Out Of Bed And Beat The Dolphins
Okay, so I can’t show you what it would look like if the Miami Dolphins played a college football team. But I can show you what it would look like if the Miami Dolphins played in a college football game, and were the college team....
A Philosopher's Definitive (And Slightly Maddening) Case Against Replay Review
The motivation for using video review in sports is obvious: to get more calls right. This seems like an easy enough mission to fulfill, but anyone who has spent even a little time watching sports on TV can attest to the fact that the application of video review is not so simple. In most sports where...
You Cannot Fuck Up Visiting New Orleans
Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here. Buy his book here....
We Have A Wet Bag Problem, And We're Going To Look Into It
There is nothing funny about lower-body injuries in baseball. Upper body injuries, sure—a “strained oblique” sounds just vague enough to get an eye-roll, and Mets-scented mystery injuries like the Out With An Entire Left Side Of Body ailment that sidelined prized Mets free agent Jed Lowrie for virtu...
The Blowhole: Brian Flores Wants To Spoonfeed You Sadness
The most important thing to know about the Miami Dolphins is that their new coach, Brian Flores, treats every game like he will be held criminally liable if anything interesting happens. Dolphins fans, befitting a franchise that hasn’t won a playoff game in 20 years, have extensive experience with c...
NFL Rules Are Just Suggestions
Tom Brady was watching Titans-Jaguars Thursday night and, like every other person with functional eyes, did not enjoy the experience. Only he overcame his revulsion and fear of being found out, tweeting about it and saying all the holding penalties were ruining his fun....
Of Course The Skins Misspelled London Fletcher's Name During His Ring Of Honor Ceremony
Dan Snyder’s football clown show spent halftime of their Monday night meltdown loss inducting retired linebacker London Fletcher into the Ring of Honor of their miserable, far-flung hell-hole of a stadium. Fletcher spent less than half of his career in Washington and won zero playoff games, but wha...
Giants Player Tackles Teammate Running For Touchdown
A preface to this highlight: Jameis Winston’s fumble here was ruled an incompletion on replay, so it didn’t matter that Jabrill Peppers pushed down Alec Ogletree when he was running down the field with only green grass in front of him? But why did Jabrill Peppers tackle Alec Ogletree??...
PR Genius Tony Wyllie Takes His Talents Away From Dan Snyder
Sports radio station WJFK in D.C. reported today that Tony Wyllie has quit as Dan Snyder’s communications director to take a job with the Special Olympics. If any good PR came Snyder’s way during Wyllie’s nine-year run with Washington’s NFL team, it doesn’t come to mind. As for the gaffes on Wyllie’...
The Good NFL Quarterbacks Are Falling Apart
Even leaving aside the headaches and nausea that are specific to the fans of the Jets and Giants, and the flu-like symptoms that universally apply to all AFC South games, watching the NFL does something to a person. You may sit down in front of a game as a normal human—again, not applicable to Jets ...
Kirk Cousins Isn’t Worth A Shit
Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here. Buy his book here....
New York Giants Get Tired Of Mike Francesa Telling Them They Stink, Cut Ties With His Show
Mike Francesa has really stepped in it this time. The sleepy goofus had a standing weekly interview with New York Giants head coach Pat Shurmur every Monday on WFAN, but the relationship between grouchy radio host and grouchy organization has reached its breaking point. Shurmur said today he will no...
Join Us In Pretending Not To Know What Chris Mortensen's Rat Tweets Are About
Yesterday, ESPN’s Chris Mortensen tweeted out a series of rat emojis. ...
Antonio Brown And The Conversation Nobody Wants To Have
I watched the NFL on CBS this Sunday because I knew they had no choice but to talk about Antonio Brown. Brown was sued earlier this week by a former trainer, Britney Taylor, who said that Brown sexually assaulted and raped her when she worked for him. The day before, Brown had been signed by the New...
Should A Home Run Automatically End An Inning?
I will not keep you waiting for an answer on this one. No, absolutely not and under no circumstances would it be a good idea for a homer to automatically end an inning in a big league baseball game. It seems important not to equivocate on this question. And yet this Funbag question, from a listener ...
Donald Trump: We Love Bill Belichick, Don't We, And Also Curing AIDS?
There are two versions of President Donald Trump that appear in public. They both inhabit the same body—the same Youppi-shaped torso pitched forward at the same implausible angles, same ghost-pale eyelids fluttering alarmingly, same resplendent candyfloss Kangol of hair stuck on top of it like a wei...
Laura Ingraham Schooled By Benjamin Watson In Deeply Satisfying Fox News Segment
I swear that headline up there is not the result of late night Mad Libs. Patriots tight end Benjamin Watson was on Fox News with conservative shithead Laura Ingraham Monday to discuss a recent article by Jemele Hill. It became clear almost immediately that Watson was expected to share Ingraham’s sne...
Kent State Determines Football Team's Pregame Fireworks More Important Than Overtime Field Hockey Game
Saturday’s college field hockey game between Maine and Temple was called off in the middle of play after host school Kent State needed the field to set up pre-game fireworks for the football game next door, per the Bangor Daily News. While the teams were told of a potential scheduling conflict befor...
The Dolphins Aren't Enjoying This Fiasco Any More Than You Are
Dolphins head coach Brian Flores declared on Friday, “I have a good team.” What a difference one game makes, especially when that game was Miami’s 59-10 loss to the Ravens, featuring the most points and the most yards (643) the Dolphins have given up in their history. Brian Flores on Sunday: “We’ve ...
CBS Shows Ads Over The Void After Power Outage Disrupts Chiefs-Jaguars Broadcast
Coming back from a commercial after the Jaguars cut the Chiefs’ lead to 37-19, CBS didn’t return to the game broadcast. In a nihilistic twist, the network kept showing ads over nothing....