nfl Page 238 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Money Awarded To Plaintiffs In The NFL Concussion Settlement Is Evaporating
The NFL’s $1 billion class-action settlement with retired players suffering from the effects of brain trauma has yet to make life much easier for those awarded damages. A bureaucratic morass has made it nearly impossible for the ex-players and their families to navigate the settlement, and even the ...
Did You Hear About This? The Giants Have Two Players Named Eli, And They Traded The Wrong Freakin' One!
Today, the New York Giants traded Eli ... cornerback Eli Apple, that is. Ah, did you think it’d be their once-great, now-disintegrating quarterback Eli Manning? Don’t you look like an ass, now! It was in fact their underwhelming defensive player, who’s going to the Saints for some late picks....
The NFL Broke Former Players Like Me. Here's One Way To Fix Us.
Roger Goodell is a benevolent man. Last season, while negotiating his own new salary, he demanded lifetime health insurance for himself and his family—with a wink....
Ass Team Of The Week: Sean McDermott Cooked Up The Butt Meat And Derek Anderson Is Serving It
When watching the very bad football games that I have to watch in order to write this series, I sometimes like to play a game called How Long Can They Hide The Ass? This game consists of seeing how long a team that is known and verified to be butt can play any other way before the familiar stench re...
Derek Carr Denies Crying During Game: "Not One Tear. Not One Time."
Hours after The Athletic reported that Derek Carr has lost the confidence of his teammates, possibly because he cried, the Raiders quarterback set the record straight: He did NOT cry. In fact, he says he did not shed a single tear. Out of either eye! At any point!...
The Bills Did Not Get The Derek Anderson Renaissance, But They'll Give It Another Shot
Bills quarterback Nathan Peterman was so dreadful last week, the team had to bench him for 35-year-old Derek Anderson, who hadn’t started a game since 2016 but was the only remaining healthy QB on the roster, for Sunday’s contest against the Colts. Ah, but therein lies a conundrum: When Derek Ander...
Patrick Peterson "Desperately" Wants Out Of Arizona
The Arizona Cardinals are ass. Even in a sea of NFL ass, they are a deadly, towering ass iceberg. An assberg. They are 1-6 but spiritually 0-16. Patrick Peterson has had enough....
Rae Carruth Has Been Released From Prison
Former Carolina Panthers wide receiver Rae Carruth, who was convicted in 2001 of plotting the murder of his pregnant girlfriend Cherica Adams, was released from Sampson Correctional Institution in Clinton, North Carolina today....
Jaguars Junction: Week Seven
Seems like everyone has something to say about Blake Bortles being benched. But have you ever been an NFL quarterback? No. So we turned to NFL quarterbacks themselves for their “take” on a tough situation....
Justin Tucker's First Career Missed Extra Point Came At The Worst Possible Moment
Oh man, Justin Tucker pulled a John Carney. He pulled a damn John Carney against the team that had experienced a John Carney!...
Eric Reid Calls Malcolm Jenkins A "Sellout" And "Neo-Colonialist" After Panthers Win
Panthers safety Eric Reid’s visible beef with Eagles safety Malcolm Jenkins in today’s game was indeed for the expected reasons. After Philly collapsed and Carolina took the 21-17 victory, Reid was at first hesitant to explain why he exchanged words with Jenkins during the pregame coin toss, but the...
Blake Bortles Gets Benched, And The Jaguars Are Tumbling
The Jaguars elected to bench Blake Bortles in the middle of today’s 20-7 loss to the Texans, instead opting to go with a quarterback that by definition would’ve been considered worse than Blake Bortles before the game. Surprisingly, he was slightly better....
Eric Reid Tries To Settle A Score With Malcolm Jenkins In Panthers-Eagles Coin Toss, Scuffles With Zach Ertz
Carolina Panthers safety Eric Reid is grateful to finally have a job, and he’s also grateful to be on a football field so he can act on a grudge. Reid has a history with Eagles safety Malcolm Jenkins, and got in his face before today’s game started....
Mike Vrabel Fucked That One Up
The Tennessee Titans lost 20-19 to the Melvin Gordon-less Chargers in London because they couldn’t pull off the two-point conversion they elected to go for instead of the game-tying extra point. Head coach Mike Vrabel’s final play call was a little too ballsy....
The Jaguars Don't Want To Wait For Their Hamstrung Running Back
Jaguars running back Leonard Fournette lasted for about one half in the team’s season opener before he injured his hamstring. He missed two games, returned for Week 4 against the Jets, and hurt his hamstring again. After being ruled out for Sunday, Fournette will now miss three straight games. Jacks...
Albert Breer Needs Help! He Is In Danger Of Drowning In All The Water He Is Carrying For NFL Owners!<em></em>
Sports Illustrated football writer/NFL mouthpiece Albert Breer has made it his life’s work to cozy up to NFL owners and GMs, eagerly slurp up their self-serving bullshit, and then vomit it back up on readers with an air of smug self-satisfaction. This is generally fine so far as it goes—it’s useful ...
The Arizona Cardinals Are Toilet Soup
Von Miller called his shot earlier this week when he said his team would kick the Arizona Cardinals’ asses. The Broncos, who had lost four straight, had planned to take out their frustrations in tonight’s game. The hopeless bird men were happy to oblige....
Report: Los Angeles Will Be Saddled With The Chargers For At Least 20 Years
The Los Angeles Chargers are currently in a tiny stadium that can max out its capacity at 27,000. They’ve become a concern for the league’s other owners in terms of viability. Also, no one really cares about them since their true fanbase is in San Diego. But here’s some relief: They’ll be locked int...
Why The NFL Dumped Its Anthem Policy
NEW YORK — The NFL was really feeling itself at this week’s fall meetings in lower Manhattan. Scoring is through the roof! Games are historically close! Ratings are up! Concussions are down! It was impossible to chat up a league official without being reminded of how swell things are going, and ain’...
The NFL Is Screwing Over Defenses, And I Love It!
Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here. Buy his book here....