nfl Page 244 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Colts Lineman Matt Slauson Played Almost An Entire Half With Two Broken Vertebrae
On Monday, the Indianapolis Colts placed starting guard Matt Slauson on injured reserve with an unspecified injury. Slauson played all 83 offensive snaps in the team’s loss to the Patriots last week, and his injury was only apparent after the game. As it turns out, he had been playing since early in...
Former NFL Linebacker's Solution For The Struggling Eagles: Hump Less
The Eagles are 2-3, but fortunately for them, their division sucks. Former NFL linebacker and Philly news anchor Garry Cobb has a suggestion to get the team back on track: Don’t let the players fuck....
Michael Thomas Stayed Up Late To Needle "Goof Ball Con Artist" Josh Norman On Twitter
Saints wide receiver Michael Thomas and Skins cornerback Josh Norman spent much of last night feuding on Twitter after New Orleans drubbed Washington 43-19 on Monday night. It started with three different Skins defensive backs calling out Thomas in their post-match pressers for being a twerp....
Ass Team Of The Week: The Ravens Won The Ass-Off
Listen, any doo-doo team can go out there and get the shit kicked out of them by the Rams or the Chiefs. The truest expressions of buttness tend to happen when one meaty cheek meets another, combining to form one giant Voltron ass with a stink that envelopes the whole game. On Sunday the Baltimore R...
The Dolphins Politely Waited Until The Second Half To Doo-Doo Their Pants
The Miami Dolphins started the season 3-0 before they were thoroughly exposed by the Patriots in Week 4. But they’ve always played poorly in Foxboro, so there was a chance to bounce back, albeit on the road against the 3-1 Bengals. On Sunday, the Fins actually held a 17-0 lead in the third quarter—b...
Things I Lost In The Fire
My parents lost their house during the Northern California wildfires that ignited exactly a year ago. I was visiting when it happened. Mere minutes elapsed from the time a panicked sheriff’s deputy banged on our front door telling us to leave right now to the moment we drove away from my childhood h...
The Raiders Had First-And-Goal At The 1 And Didn't Give It To Marshawn Lynch
Down 20-3 to the Chargers in the third quarter Sunday, the Raiders put together a 74-yard drive and threatened to make it a two-possession game. A defensive pass interference penalty gave Oakland first-and-goal at the one-yard line. Marshawn Lynch was lined up in the backfield. Yes, this is all very...
This Hit On Brandin Cooks Was Somehow Not Flagged
The NFL appears to have completely abandoned its newly-instated helmet rule that caused loads of controversy in the first couple weeks of the preseason. No penalties were called on Tedric Thompson after he nearly took Brandin Cooks head clean off of his body late in the second quarter of Rams-Seahaw...
Linval Joseph Scores Ultimate Fat Man Touchdown
Fat man touchdowns are one of the few remaining things about football that can bring me pure, unadulterated joy in a moment’s notice. Vikings defensive tackle Linval Joseph is the latest large lad to bring me such happiness. On a 1st-and-10 passing play, Stephen Weatherly was able to strip-sack Cars...
Today I Declare To You That The Following Wideouts Are Dogshit<em></em>
Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here. Buy his book here....
Patrick Mahomes At All Times Sounds Like He Just Ate A Big Bowl Of Chili
Chiefs quarterback Patrick Mahomes has spent the first four weeks of the NFL season playing consciousness-expanding football—scrambling, improvisational, hyper-charismatic stuff. Four games make for a small sample, but if it is at all representative of the underlying talent, Mahomes will be doing bi...
Aaron Rodgers Is Taking Shots At Mike McCarthy Again
That thing is happening again, where everyone is wondering if there’s some serious internal discord plaguing the Green Bay Packers. Eyebrows were raised when after Green Bay’s 22-0 victory over Buffalo, a game in which the Packers did not play as well as the score indicates, quarterback Aaron Rodger...
Ass Team Of The Week: Do Not Ever Feel That You Must Respect The Dolphins
This is my favorite part of the NFL season, in part because I get a certain thrill out of watching teams that roar off to surprisingly hot starts being put ruthlessly back into their places. I feel like I’ve lived through seven or eight NFL seasons that began with, like, the Buffalo Bills going 3-0,...
Jaguars Junction: Week Four
JACKSONVILLE, FLORIDA—Jacksonville, Florida, “the city by the sea,” was the setting yesterday, for the big game. ...
How Patrick Chung's Concussion Fell Through The Cracks
The NFL and the NFLPA on Thursday concluded their joint investigation of Patriots safety Patrick Chung’s concussion. The inquiry found that there were no protocol violations even though Chung was initially not tested for a brain injury after being sent off the field by a game official. This appears ...
Global Warming Is In Your Sports Now
Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here. Buy his book here....
Ass Team Of The Week: The Vikings Reached Hell In 10 Minutes
It’s important to point out early on in this series that a team does not have to actually be ass in order to be the Ass Team Of The Week. A team that is very good in aggregate can still plunge to depths of buttness on any given day, as demonstrated by the Minnesota Vikings. They came into this seaso...
The NFL’s Uniform Code Needs To Be Destroyed<em></em>
Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here. Buy his book here....
The Deadcast Went To Chicago, Drank Malört, And Yelled About The Bears
You hear it sometimes: you had to be there. Sometimes this is true, for instance with extreme weather events or certain live music performances. And in the case of this week’s Live Deadcast, which Megan, Drew, and I recorded in front of a roiling crowd of rowdies in Rex Grossman jerseys on Monday ni...