nfl Page 823 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Wayne Rooney Is Not An Animal. Wayne Rooney Is A Human Being.
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Here's Video Of Some Philadelphians Bathing In Soup To Make Some Sort of McNabb Statement
Good thing the Eagles/Redskins game doesn't start until after 4 p.m. I'd hate to not have those three extra hours of pregame drinking....

So, What's Mrs. Tom Brady Doing With This Guy Who Isn't Mr. Tom Brady? (With Update!)
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Charles Barkley Is Wearing His McNabb Jersey At This Weekend's Game
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: everyone's intentionally controversial figure, Charles Barkley....

Philly Will Throw Donovan McNabb A Parade. A Parade Of Boos.
The group of Philadelphians who notoriously booed McNabb at the 1999 NFL draft (they wanted Ricky Williams) are reuniting for a "Boo McNabb" parade. It would probably be more effective if they were actually at the game, but whatever. [WIP]...

Tiger Woods Is Probably Thinking What You're Thinking Right Now
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Bye Weeks Are Satan’s Afterbirth
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....

Gregg Easterbrook Is As Smart About Head Injuries In Football As He Is About Jews In Hollywood
Look, I know we all pretend not to notice Gregg Easterbrook still making an ass of himself over on ESPN.com, but when the guy carries on as if he loves football head injuries almost as much as he hates the Jews, well......

Chad Ochochinco's Phone Sex Cereal
Ochocinco's breakfast cereal has a number supposedly for a charity printed on it. I called it, and got this: "Get off with the sluttiest girls your imagination can dream up." Oh dear, Chad wants your children to grow up fast....

Jags Receiver Gets Caught In Action Movie After Armed Intruder Busts In
Kassim Osgood and a ladyfriend were hanging out, when her ex-boyfriend showed up with a gun. Both were pistol-whipped, but are okay. Then, there's this: "The woman targeted him with her laser sight before both shot at each other and missed." [Times-Union]...

That's Not The Ass Of Any Old Ballplayer; That's The Ass Of A Playoff-Spot-Clinching Ballplayer (NSFW-ish)
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Pete Carroll Cannot Believe The Chargers Kept Kicking To Leon Washington
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: perfectly adequate NFL coach Pete Carroll....

NFL Superperson Ray Lewis Runs with the Bears. Well, a Bear.
And the bear matches the superperson stride for stride. Then it smiles. Then it talks! Then something blows up. Even though they just ran the length of a football field, the bear and the superperson smell fresh and snappy because of Old Spice Showtime Deodorant....

Shaun Smith's Package Grabbing: A Music Video Retrospective
Shaun Smith's humorous, ungentlemanly conduct the last two weeks has been an endless source of joy, so why not set video of Smith's junk twisting to Da Lench Mob's "All On My Nut Sac?"...

Meet Your New Undersized, Scraptastic, Very White New England Sports Cult Hero: Danny Woodhead
Danny Woodhead, the Jets castoff and Rex Ryan-anointed "little fucker," made his Patriots debut yesterday and is already being touted as the economy-sized Wes Welker. Chief among these proponents is Dan Shaughnessy. Of course. Let's look at the best of the worst....

Tony Dungy Still Furiously Beatifying Himself
Coach Moral Compass checks in on the Braylon Edwards situation and says, approximately, "If I'm Rex Ryan, I light the collective bargaining agreement on fire and blow my nose with the Wagner Act." [Larry Brown Sports]...

Shaun Smith Can't Stop Grabbing Guys' Packages
A week after the Chiefs DE was accused of, erm, manhandling Cleveland's (The Secret World Of) Alex Mack, San Fran's Anthony Davis comes forward to show on the doll where Smith touched him. "He tried to feel me. That's weird, right?" Right....

Getting Around Local NFL Blackouts, The Fun And Illegal Way
This is the story of a bar with a modicum of computer knowledge, and a dream. That dream: to watch the Buccaneers get massacred, even though the game wasn't sold out and therefore not shown on local Tampa television....

Lions Player Holds Up One More Finger Than His Team Has Wins
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Your NFL Late Games Open Thread
The lineup: Indianapolis at Denver; Washington at St. Louis; Philadelphia at Jacksonville; Oakland at Arizona; San Diego at Seattle; and, later, NY Jets at Miami....