nfl Page 842 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Wish You Were Here
Move the Pro Bowl to the Super Bowl site, they said. More players will take part, and there'll be more excitement, they said. If that's so, then why is the QB matchup Aaron Rodgers against Matt Schaub?...

An Alternate Definition Of "Dress For Success"
There's going to be a whole bunch of men in drag on Bourbon Street tomorrow, none of whom will be spiffier than Bobby Hebert, wearing one of his daughter's sequined creations. It's called the "Mu Dat Nation Mumu."...

Donovan McNabb Is So Totally Going To Dunk London Fletcher. Cannonball!
Update on the NBA-NFL rivalry: Kobe Bryant sells sneakers via gun violence whereas Donovan McNabb, cocktail umbrella behind ear, threatens Pro Bowl n00b London Fletcher (née Susan Lucci) with some badass hazing: "He'll get initiated at the pool bar." [USAToday]...

Dear Haiti, Here Are Some Ugly Shirts
Premature, unused Vikings (and Jets) conference championship gear is on its way to Haiti. So the Brett Favre coverage continues, in Port-au-Prince at least. [RandBall]...

Bad Beats: Kiss The Girls
Your weekly gambling column, featuring smart plays, oddball propositions, all your tales of woe — plus, betting advice from a 13-year-old boy! Send your stories to [email protected]. Subject: Bad beats....

This North Jersey-Indianapolis Turf War Is Getting Out Of Hand
No Taser this time, just a Jets fan getting his skull broken in a fight after Sunday's game. No suspects yet, as Midwesterners don't snitch, out of politeness. [Staten Island Advance]...

Rey Maualuga Gets Head Start On Offseason With DUI
A Bengals player was arrested. Normally this is not news. What is news is that Maualuga was driving a 2003 Pontiac Sunfire....

Three Words No NFLer Wants To Hear: Transgender Sodomy Lawsuit
Cornerback Eric Green, who's bounced around from practice squad to practice squad since being released by the Cardinals after last season, was hit with a lawsuit from a transgendered woman who claims Green forcibly sodomized her....

Donovan McNabb Joins The Psychic Friends Network
McNabb says he knows he'll be back in Philly next year, because his psychic told him so. She also predicted playoffs but no Super Bowl ring, though you don't need to be psychic to know that. [Philly Daily News]...

Who Dat Think They Can Violate Our Intellectual Property Rights?
The NFL is cracking down on New Orleans merchants selling "Who Dat" paraphernalia, claiming it's a violation of league-owned trademarks. Next up: The Catholic Church and their egregious canonization policies. [WWLTV; pic]...

Super Bowl Subplot #1: Those Manning Boys
There are several key storylines that all media outlets are required to discuss in the days leading up to the Super Bowl. We will do our part by beating them into the ground as far as we can....

The History Of Human Technological Advancement Has Led Up to This
The NFL announced plans to offer its RedZone Channel on cell phones starting next season. That sound you just heard was millions of people orgasming at once. [WSJ]...

NFL Scouts Detect Two Large Flaws In Terrence Cody's Game
My God. Look at that photo. That's 370 pounds of nose tackle, coming to a 3-4 near you. [SI.com]...

Athlete Dong: <em>Omnium-Gatherum</em> And Critical Analysis
Poor Greg Oden — his penis made him an unfortunate rising Google-trender. Of course, Oden isn't the first athlete to have his privates posted online. The Awl's Choire Sicha, Deadspin House Gay, provides commentary on sport's many peacocks....

Why Video Gamers Read Zone Blitzes Better Than JaMarcus Russell
Theory: Today's NFL rookies are way smarter about football than previous generations because they were raised on Madden games. Conclusion: Lock your kid in his room with a PS3 and a P90X and starting booking your retirement today. [Wired]...

Adrian Peterson's Fumbles Caused By French Fry Grease?
An anonymous reader sent us this very interesting photo of Adrian Peterson eating what appears to be a very slippery lunch of seafood and chips....just hours before he dropped the football three times in Sunday's NFC Championship game....

A Video Treasury Of Brett Favre's Season-Ending Interceptions (UPDATE)
Brett Favre has now thrown an interception in his last significant pass of the last game of the last three seasons. Let's look back at the ol' gunslinger fearlessly doing the thing that makes Tom Jackson admire him so....

Jets Fans Don't Fare Much Better Against Indianapolis Police
Everyone expects sadistic fascist police action in San Diego, but surely the good Midwestern people of Indianapolis (a.k.a., Real America) would welcome visiting football fans with open arms? Or you know....taser them in the parking lot....

The Brett Favre Anti-Appreciation Society Wins The Weekend
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like all the Brett Favre haters who got exactly what they wanted at precisely the time they needed. You have two more wishes....

Colts Fans Celebrate By Getting Grabby
Not that Indy would ever honk its own horn, but this fellow celebrates by honking his seatmate's. See below for video thanks to Dash, whose last blog put him on alert for this sort of thing....