nfl Page 843 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Shawne Merriman's Fetus Wants Legal Recognition
Merriman was hit with a paternity suit this week, in an odd case in which he's admitted the unborn child is his. And before you ask, don't worry; Tila Tequila has not reproduced....

Bad Beats: Why Your Betting System Sucks
Your weekly gambling column, featuring smart plays, oddball propositions, all your tales of woe — plus, betting advice from a 13-year-old boy! Send your stories to [email protected]. Subject: Bad beats....

Reuben Droughns Goes Up In Smoke
The former running back is under investigation for running a marijuana operation out of his spare bedrooms. More like Reuben Growns, am I right? Ugh, that was awful. More like Groans....

Rex Ryan's Convenient Superstition
Sexy Rexy has a pizza grease stain on his hoodie that he refuses to wash until the Jets lose. At least, that's the company line. Just as likely is that all of his clothes have grease stains. [NYDN]...

Much More At Stake Than Super Bowl For Rex Ryan
Just got an email from Major League Eating president Rich Shea. If the Jets win Sunday, Eatapus Rex will get a seat in the Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest. This is all the motivation Ryan needs. (Official invite below.)...

Saints And Vikings Face Off — In Song! (Prince Update)
New Orleans has a rich history of zydeco, blues and jazz. Minnesota has Prince and...I dunno, The Hold Steady. But both fanbases have come out en masse to pay musical tribute to their teams....

Did The Jets' Official Store Just Jinx Itself Out Of Business?
Jets fans will surely sleep soundly knowing that their Super Bowl gear is bought and paid for before the AFC Championship game even begins. (They even changed their URL to include "champions.") Nothing can possiblie go wrong now! [JetsShop]...

What Is Wrong With Our Fragile NFL Kickers?
There is an excellent chance that one of the two monumental playoff games this Sunday will hinge on a crucial field goal attempt—and an even better chance that whoever is asked to kick it will miss....

Wheelchair Lady, Off-Duty Cop Took Down Loud Jets Fan
The unruly Jets fan who was hauled out of Qualcomm Stadium in chains has come forward and the San Diego PD has been shamed into a response by anonymous websites. Was he railroaded or did he get what he deserved?...

Mark Sanchez Is The New JaMarcus Russell, Only Worse
Vince Verhei draws an intriguing comparison. JaMarcus Russell, 2008-09: 198-for-368, 2,423 yards, 13 TDs. Mark Sanchez, 2009-10: 196-for-364, 2,444 yards, 12 TDs. The difference? Sanchez threw more picks. And only six people thought to mention Russell’s “poise.” Six....

The Best Place To Get In A Bar Fight This Sunday
When Viking fans in New York City want to watch Vikings games, they go to a place called Bar None. When Saints fans in New York City want to watch Saints games, they go to the exact same bar. Uh-oh....

JaMarcus Russell Is The King Of Mardi Gras
Russell, the newly crowned King Elexis I, will lead the Mobile Area Mardi Gras Association parade. He'll also show you his C-cups for some beads. [Press-Register]...

The Saints Go Marching In Without Deuce, Governor
Boy, wasn't it inspirational when New Orleans signed Deuce McAllister before the Cardinals game? The beloved superstar and former face of the franchise, back for one final hurrah. Sorry Deuce, you're cut....

Rex Ryan Is Fat And Happy
Ryan, seen here in a rare between-meals period, consumes 7,000 calories a day and has never ordered a salad, according to "team sources." Things are good in Jetland if this is what's being leaked. [NY Post]...

Bills Hire Football's Answer To Tim Floyd
Chan Gailey, a man who lasted just three preseason games in Kansas City, will now have the honor of being fired by the Bills sometime next November, according to a guy on Adam Schefter's bowling team. [ESPN]...

Cum On Feel The Poise
Mark Sanchez threw for 100 yards and a pick yesterday, but he also managed not to light himself on fire or dance the hoochie coochie at midfield, so once again everyone has termed his performance — sigh — poised....

Nate Kaeding Suicide Joke Watch
Did you hear Nate Kaeding tried to commit suicide last night, but was unsuccessful because he's terrible at kicking footballs? Yes, San Diego's kicker is not a beloved man right now....unless you love terrible internet jokes. Then he's a godsend!...

Falcons Player Lawyers-Up Against Websites That Claim He Used To Boink A Dude
Ovie Mughelli of the Atlanta Falcons hired an attorney to cease-and-desist websites that linked to an interview MissJia.com had with a man who claimed to have had an intense sexual relationship with the fullback over many years....

Jets Fan Arrested For Liking Jets Too Much?
This overenthusiastic Jets fans was hauled out of Qualcomm Stadium yesterday for ...? We're not exactly sure, but when even the Chargers fans are defending his incessant hooting, you know something's fishy....

The Jets Win The Weekend
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the New York Jets, who somehow keep winning games they shouldn't even be playing in. How are they not blowing it?...