nfl Page 849 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Early Game Open Thread: Count The Santa Hats In The Stands
Purple Jesus v. Ocho Jesus; Team Josh v. 16-0, Kellen Clemens v. Raheem Morris' head set; Cutler v. Cold, Who Deys v. The Ryan-Turnerlesses; The Photoshopped Ghosts of Dick Jauron v. The Photoshopped Ghosts of Larry Johnson, etc.#nflforum [NFL.com]...

James Harrison's Mom Won't Have Any Of That Stuff
Silverback's momma got into some sort of tussle at a football-viewing party on Thursday night in Akron, Ohio. She and two others were charged with assault for all sorts of punching, kicking, and bottle-throwing as the Steelers' season unraveled. [PFT]...

In Memoriam: A Great Sports Intro
Forget "Roundball Rock." Click inside and hear the greatest network sports theme song of all time....

Last Night's Winner: Pirates Fans
In sports, everybody is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Pittsburgh's baseball fans, who don't have to be alone anymore. Cheering for championships are overrated anyway!...

Just Because He Tapes His Penis To His Thigh Is No Reason To Judge
"After David Akers nails 55 YD FG in practice, Jon Dorenbos exhalts in celebration, screaming, 'Einhorn's a man!'" [Via]...

I Guess We've Solved All The Real Free Speech Issues
A Central Pennsylvania town is tackling the pernicious threat of Steelers fans. Now the ACLU's getting involved. This is going to be uglier than tonight's game....

The Five Stages Of Football Grief. Jamboroo, Week 14
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....

Oakland's Happy Family Just Got A Little More Dysfunctional
Randy Hanson, noted coach punchee, is back working with the Raiders. Even for a historically feckless franchise, this is surprising. Let's look at the possibilities....

Guns, Booze, and Saints Fans: A Drama In One Act
Even if this turns out to be a viral video for Smith and Wesson, you kind of know this really happened somewhere in Louisiana, right? [YouTube, thanks Ed!]...

Friday Night Blight: Why High School Football Is Ground Zero Of The Concussion Crisis
Every year, there are tens of thousands of concussions on high school football fields and no standardized guidelines for dealing with them. That's the real scandal of the head-injury epidemic, writes Will Carroll, and kids have died for our neglect....

NFL.com Gives The Fans A (Stupid, Racist) Voice
Like most websites, NFL.com sets aside space to highlight the wittiest, most intriguing comments from its legion of readers in a special place labeled, "The Crowd Has Spoken." Unfortunately, the crowd is mostly angry, illiterate jacknobs....

E.J. Henderson's Leg Should Not Bend That Way
In case you missed it, the Vikings' E.J. Henderson took a nasty shot last night....but Al Michaels had no problem breaking out the break talk for the guy with the broken femur. Break. [YouTube, D4L, SSF]...

A Turdfest On Paper Gives Us A Few Gems
Ten early games, and only one features two teams with winning records. Rex Grossman, Matt Moore, Brodie Croyle, Daunte Culpepper and Chris Redman all took snaps today. But what's this about upsets?...

Your Late Games Open Thread
Mike Vick was soundly booed every time he touched the ball, until his two TDs heralded "We Want Vick" chants. Probably led by these two ladies! Discuss the beginning of Tony Romo's annual December meltdown in the comments. [AJC]...

Hey Look, More Things Wrong With NFL Overtime!
As if it weren't enough that a random coin toss essentially decides the winner in a significant majority of overtimes, now comes SCIENCE! to tell us that the flip of the coin may not be so random....

Your Early Games Open Thread
Middle America wins the 1:00 games slate (or should I say "noon games," our new Hardee's-eating overlords?) as us coastal elite miss out on the promising Indy/Tennessee game. I promise to be nicer next time I'm changing planes. [The506]...

As It Turns Out, NBA Players Haven't Completely Tuned Out David Stern
David Stern insists with robotic regularity that his ballers are the "best athletes in the world". (Sometimes, when he's feeling particularly saucy, he goes with "most extraordinarily gifted".)...

Having Eli Manning's Autograph More Humiliating Than Losing To Eli Manning
In the catalog of manufactured outrage, it's hard to think of a dumber example than Dallas players somehow being angry at Eli Manning for signing a wall in the new Cowboys Stadium. Plaster has never been so disrespected!...

Our Nation's Athletes' Traffic Violations Are No Longer Below-The-Fold News
Adrian Peterson was ticketed for doing 109 in a who-cares-how-many mph zone. But a police spokesperson took pains to assure the press that the traffic stop was "very routine." This is the world we live in now. [Pioneer Press]...

Looking For Dick
This is what it means to be a Bills fan: You spend your December days hunched over a team photo like some Bletchley Park code cracker, looking for proof that your recently shitcanned coach has been photoshopped into oblivion....