nfl Page 853 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Redskins Owner Surprisingly Tone Deaf on Issue of Racial Sensitivity
White guy Dan Snyder fired white guy Vinny Cerrato and immediately replaced him with white guy Bruce Allen, so that he can bring in either white guy Mike Shanahan or THIS (white) GUY Jon Gruden. Isn't there some rule...?...

Bears Grounded in Chicago
The Chicago Bears are unable to make it to Baltimore, because of the massive terrible snowstorm that literally everyone in the mid-Atlantic area is being a tremendous baby about....

Green Goblin Only Slightly More Destructive To Bears' Chances Than Jay Cutler
Supervillains will destroy Soldier Field in an upcoming Marvel comic. They were expecting the stadium to have some more protection, but clearly they hadn't seen the current O-line. [Chicago Sun-Times]...

NFL Network Can Suffer A Rancid Amputation – Your Christmasaroo
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....

Vinny Cerrato Gets In One Last Zinger On His Way Out The Door
This morning's winner is apparently the Redskins fans who have finally managed to chase away one half of the dynamic duo that's ruining their lives. Of course, the Joker killed Robin and that didn't stop Batman from kicking his ass....

Chris Henry Passes Away
ESPN, AP, and others are now reporting that Cincinnati Bengals wide receiver Chris Henry died around 6:30 this morning from injuries suffered in a car accident. More soon.......

Chris Henry Suffers "Life-Threatening Injuries" In Domestic Dispute/Car Accident (Update)
The Bengals wide receiver was seriously injured today after falling out of the back of a pickup truck driven by his fiancée, with whom he had been arguing....

Glenn Beck Is (Gasp!) Right About Football Helmets
Professional lunatic Glenn Beck has argued—based on this article in the Wall Street Journal—that football helmets are evil, because they make players reckless and, eventually, crippled. It's pains me to say so....but he has a point....

McNair's Death "Scared" Some NFL Players Into Monogamy. For A Little While.
CBSSports' Mike Freeman (and other reporters) interviewed some NFL players on the state of NFL side projects. Has it decreased since McNair was shot by his mistress?: "I admit once time passed. I went back to my old ways." [CBSSports]...

I Can't Believe I'm Defending Michael Irvin
Irvin says he'd trade his three Super Bowl rings and his Hall of Fame induction to have one undefeated season. Despite the pundits' ensuing ridicule and scorn, his hypothetical choice could be the right one....

Proof That JaMarcus Russell Isn't Even UFL Quality
The Raiders have signed J.P. Losman, fresh off a championship with the Locomotives. This could be a redux of the Kurt Warner story, only if Warner had already failed in the NFL and his top receiver was Louis Murphy. [ESPN]...

3-D Broadcast Fails To Win Over Crowd At Actual 3-D Game
Yesterday, in a stupendous moment of technological flimflammery, the infamously large HDTV that hangs over the field at Cowboys Stadium broadcast stunning 3-D images to the crowd....of the live three-dimensional football game taking place directly below it....

Late Game Open Thread: A Whole Lot Of Yuck
Team That Makes Old Ladies Sad v. Team Run By A Sad Old Lady; Rejuvenated Vince Young v. Reanimated Kyle Boller; Holding Romos v. Litigious Merrimans, etc. #nflforums [NFL.com]...

Early Game Open Thread: Count The Santa Hats In The Stands
Purple Jesus v. Ocho Jesus; Team Josh v. 16-0, Kellen Clemens v. Raheem Morris' head set; Cutler v. Cold, Who Deys v. The Ryan-Turnerlesses; The Photoshopped Ghosts of Dick Jauron v. The Photoshopped Ghosts of Larry Johnson, etc.#nflforum [NFL.com]...

James Harrison's Mom Won't Have Any Of That Stuff
Silverback's momma got into some sort of tussle at a football-viewing party on Thursday night in Akron, Ohio. She and two others were charged with assault for all sorts of punching, kicking, and bottle-throwing as the Steelers' season unraveled. [PFT]...

In Memoriam: A Great Sports Intro
Forget "Roundball Rock." Click inside and hear the greatest network sports theme song of all time....

Last Night's Winner: Pirates Fans
In sports, everybody is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Pittsburgh's baseball fans, who don't have to be alone anymore. Cheering for championships are overrated anyway!...

Just Because He Tapes His Penis To His Thigh Is No Reason To Judge
"After David Akers nails 55 YD FG in practice, Jon Dorenbos exhalts in celebration, screaming, 'Einhorn's a man!'" [Via]...

I Guess We've Solved All The Real Free Speech Issues
A Central Pennsylvania town is tackling the pernicious threat of Steelers fans. Now the ACLU's getting involved. This is going to be uglier than tonight's game....
