nfl Page 857 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Getting Free Shoes Does Not Make You A Celebrity Endorser
Nike has been forced to admit publicly that they have not signed Michael Vick to a new endorsement deal, after one of his agents said they had. (They're simply supplying him with gear.) Gee, that's awkward. [USAToday]...

OCTOBER! F*CK YEAH!!!!! Jamboroo, Week 4
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....

Ford Field Pants Dropper Can Totally Explain This
As you would probably expect, when one dude is caught on camera choking out another dude who isn't wearing pants the natural response is usually, "It's not what you think!" Well, the gentleman on top has finally spoken up....

NFL Highlight Of The Week: Favre Did It!
Because the NFL has such a stingy rebroadcast policy, we've decided to recreate the week's best highlight using a white gerbil, a tree frog and actual game audio. Suspend disbelief....

Brady Quinn's Wild Ride Comes To An End. For Now.
Yes, campers, Derek Anderson (née Horse Balls) has been summoned to save the struggling football team in Cleveland once again. [SI/WaitingForNextYear/ClevelandFrowns]...

NFL Gets Brained By Its Own Study
The NFL is slowly coming around to the idea that football can cause significant cognitive damage to its participants. Previously, this view was held by only players, fans, neuroscientists and those members of Western civilization not on the NFL's payroll....

Lions Fan Enjoys Historic Victory Sans Pants
Detroit fans have suffered through eons of metaphorical de-pantsings, so it's understandable that a few dudes attending Sunday's monumental victory would look to continue the tradition by literally dropping trou during a drunken game of grab-ass....

Welcome To The Chad Henne Era, Miami Fans
Chris Mortensen says: Chad Pennington has a torn shoulder something and is probably done for the year. (He'll get a second opinion, but James Andrews has already cut him open twice.) That's why Jimmy Buffett invented the Wildcat, right? [ESPN/SecondStringFullback]...

The Poise Is Back In Town
Another week, another victory for Mark Sanchez, another opportunity for New York Times Jets writer Greg Bishop to limn the quarterback's lukewarm heroics with his favorite word. You know the one....

Michael Crabtree Surviving Off Delicious Subway Sandwiches
Professional holdout Michael Crabtree has still not signed with the San Francisco 49ers, but don't worry about him. His marketing agent has him endorsing Subway, which is perfect because Crabtree is probably really, really hungry....

NFL Roundup: Hey, Look Who's Back
Wow, there were some crappy early games. Thankfully there were a few sideshows and massive failures to keep things interesting. Oh, and this Favre fellow....

Your Late Games Open Thread
In future NFL bust news, Tim Tebow has been released from the hospital and is heading home. In current NFL bust news, most of you get to watch either JaMarcus Russell or Cedric Benson. [Florida Times-Union]...

It's Raiders vs. Gannon In What Amounts To An Unpopular Girl Catfight
It's one of those fights where even if you win, you're still a loser. But let's break down the hissy fit the Raiders are throwing over Rich Gannon....

Your Early Games Open Thread
Lions fans, please ignore the distribution maps, as your apathy has rendered them irrelevant. Basically only the Beltway gets to see the Skins become Detroit's first win in years. Bank on it. [The506]...

Browns' No-Nonsense Rookie Apparently Not Familiar With Concept Of "Prank"
Rookie Coye Francies turned punchy yesterday after fellow teammates playfully dowsed him with a bucket of ice. Abram Elam deflected Francies' blows before Shaun Rogers managed to pull the rookie out of the locker room by his shirt.[ESPN]...

Cowboys Repent For "Party Pass" Hell (Sort Of)
We reported on the special circle of hell the Cowboys reserved for their Party Pass holders on Sunday. Almost a week later, Jerry Jones is finally owning up to the mayhem which, in Jerry's defense, made the record books....

And Now, Your Official Plaxico Burress Mug Shot
Plax, in his New York State Department of Correctional Services mug shot. Curiously, he seems to have grown an inch since his playing days. Prison's already made him a bigger man. [The Smoking Gun]...

Looking Cool Will Get You Fined
The No Fun League slapped Sheldon Brown with a $10,000 fine for wearing this sweet Friday the 13th mask instead of a boring football helmet onto the field last Sunday. So much for individuality. [ShutdownCorner]...

Sports Numerology Will Drive You To Madness
Tired of scanning the sports pages, insider blogs and talk radio to gain an edge on Vegas on Sundays? Turn to the one science that's empirically proven (at least according to its biggest proponent) to pick winners: numerology....

Detroit Can Finally Watch Some Decent Football This Sunday
Because the Lions are blacked out! For some inexplicable reason, the Lions failed to sell out Sunday's Matt Stafford vs. Jason Campbell showdown by today's 1 p.m. deadline, so lucky fans get to enjoy Niners-Vikings instead. [Detroit News]...