nfl Page 858 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Purple Jesus Is Gonna Break His F*cking Neck. Jamboroo, Week 3
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....

Hines Ward Clearly Enjoyed Almost Decapitating A Man
After Hines Ward broke Keith Rivers' jaw with a nasty blindside block last year, the NFL implemented something called "The Hines Ward Rule", outlawing high blind side hits. Hines Ward won't abide, but he thinks it's pretty cute....

Fancyman NBC Columnist Would Like To Teach “Boorish” Jets Fans Some Manners
Michael Ventre has made a career out of condemning the sinners of sport with his fancy moralizing. But many feel his latest screed— "Fat, Boorish Jets Fans Have a Slovenly Coach to Match"— may have gone too far....

Rikers Inmates Are Apparently Jets Fans
"Plaxico Burress got a zero's welcome behind bars at Rikers Island, including taunts of 'a - - hole!' and 'The Giants suck!' according to jail guards." [New York Post]...

$1.3 Billion And Not A Decent Boiler In The Place
Giants LB Danny Clark: "There's not a lot of hot water in there. (Jones) cut some corners in the bathroom there...It was lukewarm at best." [Newsday]...

Lambeau Leap Buddies Were Ochocinco Plants
What would you do if you learned that the greatest moment in Cincinnati Bengals history was a lie? Well, didn't the "coincidence" of three Bengal fans scoring front row tickets at Lambeau on Sunday seem too good to be true?...

NFL Highlight Of The Week: Frank Gore's 80-Yard Gallop
Because the NFL has such a stingy rebroadcast policy, we've decided to recreate the week's best highlight using a white gerbil, a tree frog and actual game audio. Suspend disbelief....

Sean Salisbury Has A Few Things To Get Off His Chest
Former ESPNer Sean Salisbury was fired from a Dallas radio station two weeks ago and he finally responded to us about the allegations— in the most colossally unhinged way possible. Brace yourselves for the mother of all media meltdowns....

Somebody Get Larry Fitzgerald's Brother A Clipboard
Look deeper into the Cardinals' 31-17 win on Sunday, as Larry Fitzgerald's brother did, and you'd realize too that Kurt Warner is an "OLD ASS MAN" who doesn't know how to run a team, 24-for-26 notwithstanding....

How Did That "Party Pass" Work Out For Everyone?
All you haterz out there who predicted that selling 30,000 standing room tickets for Cowboy games would turn their new stadium into a lawless Thunderdome? Yeah, you were completely right....

The Lion Fan's Lament
After years of losing, what's the only thing that gives Lions fans joy? Taunting angry drunk women as they're hauled out of Ford Field in handcuffs. Still so cold in The D.... [World Of Issac]...

Dimwit Redskins Fans Don't Like Dimwit Who Called Them Dimwits
Today's idiotic Twitter war is brought to you by the Washington Redskins and their fans, who booed their own team during a less than inspiring 9-7 win over St. Louis, then were insulted by linebacker Robert Henson. Wait, who?...

Darrelle Revis Takes "Man Coverage" To A Whole New Level
On covering Randy Moss: "If he went to the bathroom, I went too. I covered him any way I could. When he went to the sideline...I sat right across from him wherever he was sitting on the bench.'' [Boston Globe]...

Herschel Walker: "You're Never Too Old To Get Your Ass Kicked"
At 47, Hall of Fame running back Herschel Walker is the latest NFL retiree to jump on the MMA bandwagon. Walker, who just signed a contract with Strikeforce, is a sixth-degree taekwondo black belt, whatever that's good for. [FanHouse]...

Mark Sanchez Overpraise Poised To Annoy The Hell Out Of Us
Mark Sanchez possesses a certain je ne sais quoi. So how to describe him, just two games into his NFL career? If only there were some hackneyed bit of praise that elevates competence into a kind of holy state ......

Rex Ryan's Voicemail Wins The Weekend
In sports, everybody is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like New York Jets coach Rex Ryan, who won this weekend with one well-placed phone call. No, it wasn't to Batman....

This Must Have Looked Awesome On The Jerrytron
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

NFL Roundup: Ochocinco Es Numero Uno
He promised a Lambeau Leap, and he delivered. But this wasn't the biggest upset of the early games....

Prices Do Not Include Your Firstborn
The 2009 Fan Cost Index is out. Treating a family of four to a Cowboys game? That'll set you back $758.58. Enjoy paying for just cable and Internet, and talk about the late games here. [Team Marketing Report (PDF)]...

UCF Goes All Klan Rally To Welcome Racism Victims
Central Florida hosted the University of Buffalo last night, 51 years after the Bulls were told their black players weren't welcome. How to show respect for these civil rights pioneers? Let's have everyone wear all white!...