nfl Page 861 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

John Madden Agrees To Work For NFL, Save Frank Caliendo's Career
The former broadcaster/coach, apparently bored with retirement already, has been hired as a "Special Advisor to the Commissioner." "See this right here? That's a four-game suspension for drug use. BAM!" [ProFootballWeekly]...

Out-Of-Context Quotes Make Shawne Merriman Look Pretty Guilty
"I've been able to knock somebody out....I must have split personalities....I'm so dangerous right now I scare myself." [Playboy]...

Brady Quinn Will Guide Your Browns To Victory In 2009, New Media Says
The Cleveland Plain Dealer reports that Eric Mangini has confirmed the report by Pro Football Talk via Terrell Owens' congratulatory Twitter message that Quinn will start this Sunday against the Vikings. Welcome to the new journalism. [Cleveland Plain Dealer]...

Help Wanted: Preposterous NFL Project 2009
Dear Readers: If anyone in the NYC area would like to volunteer to care for our football-playing gerbil and frog this year, please contact me. Consider it an internship. Sort of. No, this is not a joke....

Harrison Accuser Dies From Gunshot Wounds
Dwight Dixon, the man who accused Marvin Harrison of shooting him back in 2008, was shot again this July and never regained consciousness. He died on Friday. No charges have been filed in either case. [Philly Daily News]...

Why Your Team Sucks: Pittsburgh Steelers
Some people are fans of the Pittsburgh Steelers. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Pittsburgh Steelers. This final 2009 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group....

Why Your Team Sucks: Baltimore Ravens
Some people are fans of the Baltimore Ravens. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Baltimore Ravens. This 2009 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group....

Choose Your Side In The Great Tequila-Merriman Twitter War
Shawne Merriman wants an internet hug. Tila Tequila would like to teach the world about "roid rage." It's all part of their strategy to win the public relations battle by taking their domestic dispute online....

Why Your Team Sucks: Cleveland Browns
Some people are fans of the Cleveland Browns. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Cleveland Browns. This 2009 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group....

Shawne Merriman Knows How To Beat A Lady (UPDATED)
San Diego Chargers linebacker Shawne Merriman was arrested last night after allegedly roughing up his girlfriend, noted internet person Tila Tequlia. Way to start the season strong, buddy....

Cash From Clunkers: Brett Favre Fined $10K for That Dirty Hit
Say what you will about the morality issues tied in with Mike Vick's return to the NFL, but perhaps it is another QB who's return was much-discussed about whom we should be worrying the most....

Why Your Team Sucks: Cincinnati Bengals
Some people are fans of the Cincinnati Bengals. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Cincinnati Bengals. This 2009 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group....

Why Your Team Sucks: Kansas City Chefs
Some people are fans of the Kansas City Chiefs. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Kansas City Chiefs. This 2009 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group....

Kyle Orton Likes What He Sees
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

The Impending Death Of The Salary Cap Won't Be Doomsday For The NFL
Roger Goodell said that with labor talks stalling, a new CBA is not in the near future and next season will likely see the NFL without a salary cap. Say goodbye to that famed parity? The short answer: no....

Michael Vick Can Play In Week 3
Roger Goodell says Vick is working on "recognizing" his "life management skills" so he only has to sit out two games this year. And no more hard lemonade! [NFL.com]...

The Washington Redskins Will Sue Your Grandmother Into Bankruptcy
A recent Washington Post story mentioned that the Redskins have been suing season ticket holders who backed out of their onerous seat contracts. Apparently that story wasn't sad enough, so here's a picture of a crying grandma Daniel Snyder bankrupted....

QB Proves You Don’t Have To Be Literate To Make The 49ers
Nate Davis may not be able to deconstruct the early work of Tolstoy, but no matter: he's excellent at throwing footballs-at least good enough to make the 49ers over Damon Huard....

Why Your Team Sucks: Buffalo Bills
Some people are fans of the Buffalo Bills. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Buffalo Bills. This 2009 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group....

Jeff Jagodzinski Has Not Had A Good Year
Tampa Bay has not even seen their new offense in real-time competition yet, but they have apparently seen enough to know that it stinks. They fired coordinator Jeff Jagodzinski today, just one week before Opening Day....