nfl Page 890 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Natural and Unnatural Disasters Threaten Week 17 (Yes, That Includes Detroit)
Weather threatens in Buffalo and Houston (despite the dome), Detroit threatens to actually play, and Ed Hochuli threatens to be mentioned no less than 87 times tonight....

It's Hard to Ride Off Into the Sunset on the West Coast
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

Guess Who?
Guess who kept the coin from the final coin flip at Texas Stadium? Hint: He's a former Cowboy and he likes to collect shiny things. [Dallas Morning News]...

The Punk, Crybaby, Diabetic Quarterback That Is Jay Cutler
Chargers linebacker Matt Wilhelm is an authority on punks. (He played with Maurice Clarett at Ohio State, so his field credentials on the matter are solid)....

Tom Brady Is Engaged!
TMZ is reporting that invalid quarterback Tom Brady, who dumped his hot pregnant actress girlfriend for less pregnant supermodel Gisele Bundchen, is now affianced to said supermodel, thereby taking his golden ass off the market....

The Definition Of A Slow News Week
Minnesota Vikings safety Darren Sharper visited a TV station in the middle of the night and parked in a handicapped spot. That is all. [Star-Tribune]...

Former Bronco Says He Played While High In 2007
Former Broncos left tackle Matt Lepsis said he played the first six games of his last season in football under the influence of drugs. Lepsis, who retired at the end of last season, never failed a drug test during his 11 years in the NFL, but says he practiced that way 10 to 15 times before actually...

NFL Secret Santa! Jamboroo, Week 17
Drew's Jamboroo runs every Thursday. Buy his book here. Email Drew here. Read him at KSK....

Plaxico Burress And The Hidden Arms Cache
In a daring midnight raid on the home of New York militia leader Plaxico Burress, police officers uncovered a secret "cache" of weapons and ammunition that he was undoubtedly saving for the revolution....

Roger Goodell Fiercely Guards His Snow Domain
First was the Wes Welker snow angel incident and now this; Jets' Shaun Ellis fined $10,000 for throwing snowballs. [NBCSports]...

How To Make An 0-15 Season Suddenly More Meaningful
This whole Robert Parker/Rod Marinelli press conference situation has suddenly turned a beleaguered, not-so-good coach into a sympathetic character for the last game of a uniquely pathetic Lions season. It's kind of awesome isn't it?...

Which NFL Coaches Will Be Unemployed Next Week?
There was a time, not that long ago, when the Jets were on top of the world and area fans were seriously considering an all-Jersey Super Bowl. Boy, those were the days....

And The Lieutenant Governor Could Be Mini Ditka
I'd like to think that the current Mike Ditka for Governor of Illinois movement isn't just a scheme to sell T-shirts and coffee mugs, but I'm not so sure. Just look at their site....

The 49ers, Wacky Mustaches, David Letterman And You
The 49ers and Raiders have had pretty horrific seasons, but the Bay Area franchises couldn't be handling their lack of success more differently....

R.I.P. Dock Ellis: The Curveball That Rode The Dragon
It is fitting that the great Dock Ellis died on a Friday, which is the worst day to die. Nobody pays attention to news on Saturdays....

Another Lawsuit For Plaxico Burress
Plaxico Burress is being sued by a woman he rear-ended—with his car, jerks!—back in May, three days after he forgot to pay his insurance premiums. That seems so unlike him, doesn't it? [NY Daily News]...

Let's Face It; Junior Seau Is Huggable, And Fans Are Only Human
So the guy who ran onto the field and tackled the Patriots' Junior Seau on Sunday? He's an Iraq war National Guard veteran, and his lawyer says it was all a big mistake....

Last Minute Christmas Gift Ideas For The Lazy And Insane
Christmas is two days away and you've done zero shopping; nice going, jerk. Fortunately it's not too late to surprise the kids with Inflatable Ben Wallace, the basketball defender aide....

Do Not Challenge Shaun Ellis To A Snowball Fight
Here's one more little tidbit, from the winter wonderland that was Week 16 in the NFL....

Junior Seau Is Not As Quick As He Used To Be
We know that networks don't like to show bad fan behavior for fear of copycats, but we really need to see video of the idiot that tackled Junior Seau on the sidelines yesterday. [Vent]...