nfl Page 900 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Freddie Mitchell Wants To Put His Meat In Your Mouth
We have a Freddie Mitchell sighting: the former Eagles wideout is now the new owner of Brothers ' Bar-B-Q in Lakeland, Florida. No word on whether he plans to have a replica wrestling championship belt over the facade of the building. The former first-round pick hasn't played since the Eagles lost t...

NFL WEEK 10, Scratches, Coverages, Storylines For Your 1 PM Games
Jacksonville (3-5) at Detroit (0-8), 1 pm. Daunte Culpepper will be getting the start at Ford Field today, less than his week after signing with the Lions as an insurance policy for Dan Orlovsky's thumb injury. That policy is already being cashed in, and this time we can't blame Matt Millen. The big...

Install Texas Stadium End Zone in Your Back Yard (Cheerleaders Included)
In a blatant effort to rearm the Salvation Army in order to fight street to street in the urban centers and rural battlegrounds of America, Jerry Jones and a Coalition of the Willing to Appear Charitable in a Very Public Fashion have offered a unique combination of the gauche and the gaucho to the w...

Justin Tuck Has One Less Check To Write
If you thought Justin Tuck got screwed out of $7,500 earlier this week, you weren't the only one. The indefatigable Michael David Smith (via The Star-Ledger) is reporting on PFT that that bullshit fine levied on Tuck for his hit on Brooks Bollinger has been rescinded. You better pull up your socks ...

Yes We Ca ... Uh, No We Can't. Put Away The Glove, Brandon
As we mentioned this morning, one of the great end zone celebration gestures of all time was cruelly aborted last night when Brandon Marshall scored the winning touchdown in the Broncos' 34-30 triumph over the Browns in Cleveland. In the video below you'll hear Marshall explain how he reached into h...

Quinn's Debut Inspires A Nation, Browns Lose As Usual
With all the excitement over the big stimulus package that was the debut of Brady Quinn and the return of Kellen Winslow — turns out they're real, and they're fantastic — we all ignored the real issues: Jay Cutler and Brandon McDonald. The shy, self-effacing Broncos quarterback threw for 447 yards a...

When All Else Fails, Imply That They're Gay
The war of words between Joey Porter and, oh, everybody went from moderately amusing barbs to junior high homosexual jokes, which is typical in the hypersensitive, homophobic world of professional football players. When Porter questioned the NFL allowing Jaguars receiver Matt Jones to still play aft...

Welcome the New Brown Prince of Football....
In just a couple of hours Brady Quinn will ditch the clipboard and gallantly sprint to the front of the huddle to rescue the Cleveland Browns from their 3-5 misery. Americans who have the NFL Network as part of their premium cable packages will scrutinize his poise, his arm strength, and some will ...

Who Can Reassemble The Smoldering Rubble That Is The Oakland Raiders?
As bad as things are going for the San Francisco 49ers this season, they aren't even close to being the most dysfunctional football team in the Bay Area. Just how bad are things in Raiderland, on a scale of 1 to Armageddon? Cornerback Nnamdi Asomugha (pictured) and safety Gibril Wilson are now talki...

How To Quietly Open A Beer Can. Jamboroo, Week 10.
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs, well, every Thursday afternoon during the NFL season. Drew's new book, "Men With Balls," featuring 100% new material, is available RIGHT FUCKING NOW in stores and online here. You can email Drew here. Read him during the week at KSK. My ...

Cocaine Is A Helluva Drug
That's the second time that phrase has been used today, but in this case it seems much more appropriate. This will air on Friday's "Best Damn Sports Show Period". I love how terrified Chris Rose looks after it happens. It's almost like he's just realized that Lawrence Taylor is, in fact, crazy and ...

It Ain't Easy Being Peezy...
Popcorn-muscled Dolphins linebacker Joey Porter picked a new target this week for his venomous trash-talk and this week's victim is Jacksonville Jaguars' receiver Matt Jones. You might remember when Jones was caught chopping a pile of cocaine in a pick-up truck in June, as did Peezy, who had this to...

Gimme The Damn Drapes!
Keyshawn Johnson's post-NFL career as an ESPN analyst has established him as a compelling on-air personality. Television producers have noticed, and now the loudmouth former receiver with the sartorial flair is taking his eye for interior design to the people — and basic cable. In one of the wackies...

Drunken Redneck Browns Fan Ushers In Brady Quinn Era
These videos were taken last season, when this anonymous Browns fan — we'll call him Doyle, because he reminds me of the Dwight Yoakum stepfather character in Sling Blade — was quite comfortable with the way things were playing out in his world. But as Busted Coverage points out, now "there's a b...

The New Mayor Of Sacramento Can Go To His Left
The votes haven't all been counted yet — this is California, where we're the last to know anything — but it seems that former University of California and Phoenix Suns guard Kevin Johnson is now the mayor of Sacramento. Why is he being punished, you ask? No, he sought this office, beating incumbent ...

Brandon Marshall Would Like to Get a Few Things Off His Chest
The Miami Dolphins walloped the Denver Broncos this past Sunday 27-16 and leading the post-game victory gloating was, of course, linebacker Joey Porter. After the victory, the nine-year veteran called Broncos wide receiver Brandon Marshall "soft" and said the Dolphins defense "got into his head", re...

Ralph Wilson Stadium Is A Sexy, Sexy Place
Orchard Park police arrested 37 people at Ralph Wilson Stadium on Sunday, but none more special than the two found creating a "public disturbance" in the 300-level women's restroom during the Jets-Bills contest. It seems that watching Trent Edwards getting piled on while Jay Feeley seduces the uprig...

Oaks Christian Has An Overabundance Of Famous Progeny
Here are Nick Montana, Trevor Gretzky and Trey Smith, all of whom play football at Oaks Christian High in Westlake Village, near Los Angeles, and whose rather famous fathers don't have much trouble paying the school's annual $21,640 tuition, I'm guessing. If you want to witness a hilarious sight on ...

Election Night: An Excuse To Stay Up Past 8:30
Well, it's here. When I was a kid, Election Night was one of the few nights of the year I was allowed to stay up past 8:30. (Seriously, my bedtime was 8:30 until I was a freshman in high school. And you wonder why I still wet the bed.) I never knew who any of the candidates were, or even what the "...

Hey, That's Hate Speech
I've heard of slinging mud, but this is just going too far. Seen high over Denver's Invesco Field during the Dolphins-Broncos game on Sunday, this banner linking John McCain to the NFL franchise which lost 24-0 to the Falcons earlier in the day. Oakland gained 78 yards total offense in the process, ...