nfl Page 900 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Someone Get Cutler A Crossing Guard Vest and Tourist Map, Stat!
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe Rich Gannon said that Jay Cutler has never been to New York before today. Really? A millionaire, star NFL quarterback, and he's never been to New York? Seems odd, but I looked back at the Broncos' schedule, and they haven't visited the Giants or Jets since Cutl...
The Cold November Rain
Chances are the weather sucks where you live right now. Rain, sleet or snow was a factor in five of the 1:00 games, and it's currently coming down hard in New England and New York. It also all but extinguished the playoff hopes of the Bills, Packers, Saints and maybe even the Redskins. Tampa Bay and...
Does Anyone Want to Switch Seats?
Romeo Crennel may not have a choice once this season's over, as his seat gets hotter and hotter each week. Despite the fact that Indy defenders were dropping like flies in this one, Derek Anderson couldn't get anything going for the Browns. His fumble in the 3rd, which the Colts returned for a touch...
A Mighty Wind is Blowing
It's apparently rainy and windy in the Bay, but as commentor "business socks" tells us, that hasn't dampened the spirits of the Buccaneers' cheerleaders. They'll need to step it up, though, as the Bucs are currently down 10-6 to the Saints in the third. Players rely on the cheerleaders for motivatio...
His Favourite Room? The Infirmary
This is apparently a shot of Plaxico Burress's place in Totowa, New Jersey. I'm going to venture a guess to say he won't be using the upstairs part of it for a little while. So it's your move, squatters. But if the small area his current physical limitations have him confined to has a television set...
Brian Piccolo Would Have Brought World Peace by 1994
In a story ostensibly about Lee Corso's shyness about being the recruiter to bring the first black athlete into the ACC back in '63 (and, yes, you should take a few moments to consider that) and chock full o'quotes from Corso deflecting credit, we are reminded yet again that Brian Piccolo (of "Brian...
Eric Moulds Allegedly Gives Autograph Seeker Knuckle Sandwich, No Autograph
A combination of WGR-550 AM in Buffalo and the Buffalo News (as collated by First Time Caller, Long Time Listener) have reported that Eric Moulds, former Bills wide receiver, allegedly slugged a man in the face early Friday morning because he wouldn't step the hell off and stop asking him for an aut...
NFL Preview: It's All About Timing
Last week, I was riding in an elevator with a friend of mine (let's call him General Tao). It was one of them fancy elevators with the t.v. screens constantly showing news updates, and it was packed. A story popped up on the screen about how People had named Hugh Jackman the Sexiest Man Alive. Sensi...
Jay Cutler Continues To Compare Himself Favourably to Other Quarterbacks
I can't be the only one praying that Jay Cutler keeps getting better and better, solely in the hopes that there is a corresponding escalation in the people he will publicly declare himself better than: "Sure, Mother Theresa helped a lot of people, but last time I checked, she never once threw for 4,...
Your Plaxico Burress Self-Inflicted Gunshot Wound Update
So a few more details seem to be emerging about the bizarre "Plaxico shot himself at a club" story. The New York Post is now reporting that the incident took place just after midnight on Friday at a club called Latin Quarter in Manhattan, while Plax was out on the town with teammate Antonio Pierce. ...
UPDATE: New Orleans Saints Drop a Deuce, But It Isn't McAllister
Let it be known to New Orleans Saints' owner Tom Benson: your players will not tolerate you intra-business whoring. It seems Mr. Benson has this habit of bringing cars from the many dealerships he owns to the Saints' practice facility, and then trying to sell those cars to his players. It also seem...
Deion Sanders Forces Philly Fans to Engage in Some Long-Overdue Self-Reflection
This news is a bit old, but you're probably still so doped up on tryptophan at the moment that you won't know the difference. Deion Sanders had some not-so-nice words for Eagles fans following Philly's big Thanksgiving Day rout of the Cardinals. During the NFL Network's postgame interview with Dono...
Plaxico Burress Accidentally Shoots Self in Leg
Yep, you read that right. Jay Glazer is reporting that sometime last night, Burress fired a gun into his own leg and spent the night in hospital, but that the injuries are non life-threatening. More, obviously, as more becomes available. UPDATE: Apparently John Clayton is reporting the incident too...
Jamboroo, Week 13. THANKSGIVING EDITION, In Which Chad Ocho Cinco Tells You The Story Of The First Thanksgiving
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs, well, every Thursday afternoon during the NFL season. Drew's new book, "Men With Balls," featuring 100% new material, is available in stores and online here, and makes a lovely Christmas gift for the chronic masturbator in your life. You...
Why The Lions Belong On Thanksgiving
The Detroit Lions are (arguably, I know) the worst organization in sports. Their incompetence, from the owner to the fans, is legendary. Yet, tradition dictates that every year, just as families arrive at the homes of relatives they don't particularly care for in order to celebrate this giving of Th...
Lil' Wayne Sheds No Tattooed Teardrops for Pacman Jones
ESPN the Mag's extremely productive blogger, Lil' Wayne — the Bob Dylan of our generation — went off in his usual Weezy fashion this week about all things sports related. One Lil' Wayne opinion of note is the rapper's stance on Cowboys' trouble-making defensive back Pacman Jones. Always unpredictabl...
Blue Nail Polish, Cinderella Diapers And You
Brian Urlacher's estranged lady friend, Tyna Robertson, told a Will County Court on Tuesday that she barred Urlacher from seeing their 3-year-old son because Urlacher painted the child's toenails blue and allowed him to wear Cinderella pull-up diapers. Note to Bears fans: This story includes the ter...
Lawrence Tynes To President Bush: Pardon My Brother, Please
Question: Do you know who Lawrence Tynes is without me having to explain that he's the kicker for the New York Giants? Do you think President Bush knows? He did single out Tynes during the Giants post-Super Bowl White House visit, because it was his overtime field goal against Green Bay that sent th...
Lions Fans: Not Even Fit For The Bus
Hard to think of a more fitting metaphor for the Detroit Lions' season than the video below: A poor, stupid Lions fan is kicked off of a bus, and is mocked by the other passengers. Poor, dumb sap. The most hilarious part to me is his final, desperate act of defiance as the vehicle pulls away. Ha. Cl...
Well, That Was Fun While It Lasted...Brady Quinn Probably Out For Season
The Cleveland Browns season just became even more meaningless, thanks to the anonymously sourced- news that Brady Quinn, former starting handsome ball chucker, is most likely out for the season. Quinn attempted to play last Sunday with that fractured index finger, but apparently did more damage to i...