nfl Page 907 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Elway Engaged To Former Raiderette
Former Denver Broncos superstar John Elway is engaged—to a former Raiders cheerleader. Traitor bastard! Paige Green, a 41-year-old that Elway met at a golf tournament three years ago, moved to Denver a year after she met the NFL Hall-Of-Famer. John presumably celebrated the engagement in typical Elw...
Seahawks Message Board Poster Succeeds In Creating Rivalry With The Giants, Fails As Human
On many occasions, team message board trash talk veers toward some very unpleasant depths, but some of the stuff being circulated on the popular Seahawks fan message board "Seahawks Huddle" right now has sparked an amazing amount of negative responses thanks to its unprecedented levels of classlessn...
Your Week 4 Jamboroo, Featuring Home Brewed Beer, RBBC Vultures, Sugar, Trader Joe’s, Cheap Trick, Bar Mitzvahs, And Gratuitous Cleavage
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs, well, every Thursday afternoon during the NFL season. Drew's new book, "Men With Balls," released October 27th and featuring 100% new material, is available for pre-order here. You can email Drew here. Read him during the week at KSK. No...
Meanwhile, Down At The Arlington DMV ...
Sunday night can't get here soon enough for Washington Redskins fans, one of whom slipped this little gem past the ever-vigilant profanity watchdogs at his local Department of Motor Vehicles. The plates on his other car say "Assman." Elsewhere, noting that Terrell Owens is not in the NFL top 10 in e...
Celebrating the End Of The Millen-ium
Of all the Matt Millen farewell "tributes" we've come across this morning, Tirico Suave's video compilation, shown immediately following the jump, has to be the most intricate and heartfelt (make sure the volume is turned down if you're at work). Featuring not one, but two clips from Glengarry Glen ...
Matt Millen: Lonely Man With A Lawnmower
After a few hours of cautious speculation about Matt Millen's removal, it was finally revealed that Detroit Lions' owner William Clay Ford did actually have to fire him in the early hours of Tuesday morning. The Detroit Free Press has a surprisingly mesmerizing photo retrospective titled "The Matt M...
Feisty Merril Hoge Vows To Keep His Hatred Of Vince Young In Check
Yesterday, the swirling melodrama around Vince Young's crazy head reached another level when transcripts of Merril Hoge's interview with a Pittsburgh radio station circulated. Even though Hoge's Young-bashing has been evident since the quarterback entered the league, he went a little overboard this ...
Fire Millen Finally Becomes Reality; But Now What, Lions Fans?
Every legendary movement begins with one daring act of civil disobedience. As close as I can tell, the Fire Millen phenomenon began one crisp December day in 2005, when a fan was manhandled by stadium security for brandishing a "Fire Millen" sign during a home game with Minnesota. Had Lions official...
The Matt Millen Era Mercifully Ends In Detroit
It appears Bill Ford Jr.'s comments from a couple days ago were either not-so-subtle foreshadowing or they were taken under consideration by those who do have authority, because according to Fox Sports' Jay Glazer, Matt Millen, the Detroit Lions oft-criticized president and general manager, is offic...
'It's Just Al In The Darkness Now.' Tim Kawakami Discusses His Run-In At Raiders Headquarters
In The Princess Bride, Westley only had to make it through the Fire Swamp once. But San Jose Mercury reporter Tim Kawakami has to brave the danger that is the Oakland Raiders' Alameda headquarters on a regular basis, and that's much, much worse. It's not an easy job, but it's never boring. By now yo...
Broncos Embrace Their Glam Rock Heritage, Welcome Back Gary Glitter
Who knows where the city of Denver's love affair with Gary Glitter began? His song Rock and Roll Part II has been a staple of the Denver sports scene forever, and was most notably heard at Broncos games every time the team got into the end zone.Then Glitter was convicted of having sex with underage ...
Marc Bulger Benched For Foggy-Headed Trent Green, John "Toot Toot" Clayton Reports
This is just a terrible start of the season for (fantasy) starting quarterbacks isn't it? St. Louis Rams' coach Scott Linehan, desperately trying to save his job, has decided to bench the struggling Bulger this week in favor of Trent Green for this week's game against the Bills, ESPN.com says. Lineh...
Wrigley Field Destroys A Man's Soul
I spent last weekend at Wrigley Field, watching the stupid Cubs clinch their stupid division and drink some stupid champagne in front of their stupid fans. It was the first time my father had ever been to Wrigley Field, and I have to think it'll be his last. Poor guy. He makes it nearly 60 years wi...
Has Success Spoiled The Patriots Fan?
Boos in Foxboro? Having grown up in California, I'm kind of used to seeing streams of disgruntled fans heading for the exits way before the game has ended (and that includes high school crowds, when I was playing). I just never thought I'd see it in Patriots Land. Has seven years of football success...
Raiders Press Conferences Are Fun, Even When No One Gets Fired
They all gathered at Raiders headquarters on Monday to watch Lane Kiffin get fired, but no such thing occurred. Kiffin is, apparently, still the head coach, at least for the next few hours. So instead of an execution, the scheduled entertainment involved Raiders senior executive John Herrera interru...
The Smart Money Was On The Chargers Last Night
Brett Favre on Monday night, against the Chargers? Once upon a time, that was the lock of all locks; Favre always comes up big on Monday, and had beaten San Diego five straight times since 1993. But Brett is wearing a different shade of green now, I'm afraid. As we can see in the photo here, he's pl...
Matt Millen Gets Overwhelming Lack of Confidence Vote From Lions' Brass
It appears some of the Lions ownership family has its own collection of "Fire Millen" brown paper bag masks and is about to start wearing them in public if things don't turn around for Detroit's woeful football team. William Ford Jr., son of Lions' principle owner William Clay Ford and vice chairman...
Excuse Me Sir, Do You Have The Time?
If you're a Saints fan searching for answers following Martin Gramatica's late field goal miss in the loss to the Broncos on Sunday, well, there's this. New Orleans punter Steven Weatherford did the holding while wearing his watch and ring. Not shown: He's also wearing a monocle. When Missing Game W...
Is The Brady Quinn Era Officially About To Begin In Cleveland?
There is nothing official-official yet, but the rumors of Derek Anderson's demise seem to be gaining momentum. Anderson has been shaky since the beginning of the season and no longer showing the equine-like testicular fortitude that made him so immensely successful last year. Cleveland Browns' coach...
Big Dope Loses All His Cowboys Stuff. Poor, Dumb Sap
You hate to see anyone become the victim of a burglary, but at the same time it's hard to feel any sympathy for Bruce Marziani. Bruce was born and raised in Philadelphia, but is a Dallas Cowboys fan, as you can see. And when he traveled to Irving for the big Monday Night showdown with the Eagles, he...