nfl Page 923 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
1st Round, Third Overall: Falcons Select Matty Ice
The Falcons wish to remain anonymous. After a year of dog torturing and climb-out-the bathroom-window coach quitting, the team would like to return to the quiet old days when David Archer was the quarterback and the average crowd rivaled the turnout on the Asia reunion tour. They hired someone name...
1st Round, Second Overall: Rams Take Chris Long
Did you know that Chris Long is Howie Long's son? No kidding! The media really has been doing a swell job keeping that tidbit under wraps. Yes, Long is the scion of the Hall of Fame lineman and impeccably-coiffed FOX analysis android. Howie Long was so spectacular in his playing days that a pass ru...
Your Weekend Of Name Recitation And Breathless Speculation Hath Arrived!
Yes, ESPN's draft coverage is underway, four hours before the Dolphins shock the world by picking Jake Long. Now they're saying Chris Long is going to the Rams. Let's tip all the picks hours in advance. No reason to make it so people actually watch the draft. For those who stick around, choose betwe...
All Right, All Right, We'll Watch The Draft
OK, so Drew absolutely convinced us: We're actually gonna watch a little bit of the draft this weekend. And not just because we're crossing our fingers that our Buzzsaw will end up with the Illini's Rashard Mendenhall. Though we are....
So, Will Anybody Draft Troubled Tommy Blake?
One of the best stories featured on ESPN's Schaaptastic E:60 show was Michael Smith's profile of troubled Texas Christian University defensive lineman Tommy Blake. Blake, who at one point in his college career was on the fast-track to the NFL, derailed early his senior year. He was a no-show for man...
Tom Brady Is Out Of The Closet And Bent On Murder
Anyone watch Law & Order: Special Victims Unit? Apparently Tuesday's episode involved a thinly disguised version of Tom Brady, who was a gay quarterback implicated in a murder. Sample dialogue: "Lincoln Haver is gay? I thought he was dating Natasha Gorski, that hot supermodel." "You can't blame Linc...
A Brief Conversation With Mike Mamula
This morning I had a brief chat with everybody's favorite (OK, my favorite) ex-Philadelphia Eagles and draft day legend Mike Mamula. Surprisingly, even though his name is brought up during practically every NFL draft analysis, he hasn't received any phone calls this week....
If You Don't Like The NFL Draft, You Can Suck It: Your NFL Draft Jamboroo
Big Daddy Drew's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo has been off since the end of the NFL season. But now, with Saturday's NFL draft looming, it returns, for one week only....
Welcome Back, Pacman; We Await The Rain You Shall Make
So, now that Pacman Jones has joined the Dallas Cowboys, we ask: How will he deal with the changing rules for Dallas-area strip clubs?...
T.O. Goes After The Dirty.com
Now, there is no longer any doubt that Terrell Owens "accidentally" showed up in a frame of the BangBros. "Spring Break Ass" pictorial, as proven by a curt little letter from his attorney, Alan M. Lerner, obtained by TMZ.com, to TheDirty.com....
Goodbye, Shaun Alexander
Seahawks running back Shaun Alexander has joined the growing segment of unemployed rich guys. It's amazing that a couple of years ago, he was a top five fantasy pick just and a league MVP. But the foot, man, the foot is not well. And some of the Seattle faithful are happy he's gone. Like porny-named...
Terrell Owens Disappears From Porn Film
Yesterday, as photos of what appeared to be Cowboys wide receiver Terrell Owens in the background of the BangBros. com's "Spring Break Ass" circulated, there were questions about whether or not it actually was the Terrell Owens. There were no mentions in any mainstream media outlets (except one) a...
The Countdown To A Recitation Of Names You Don't Know Begins Now
As we've made clear before, we have a hard time firing ourselves up for the NFL Draft. It's the type of weird madhouse obsession with young men who are just trying to figure themselves out that ends up leading to situations like the one with Kevin Hart. It's a big list of names of people you don't k...
Jeff Reed Is Available If You Have Drink Specials
If you're hanging around Altoona, Penn., at the beginning of June, we highly encourage you to drop by the game between the New Britain Rockcats and the Altoona Curve. Because they've got quite the celebrity throwing out the first pitch....
Sir, You Seem To Have Dropped Your Terrible Towel
For those of you out there whose Mondays feel incomplete without a naked picture of a Pittsburgh Steeler, your day is about to pick up a bit. First, it was kicker Jeff Reed, snapping a picture of his freshly shorn pubis region then having it hit the web. Now, wide receiver Santonio Holmes has allege...
Kenton Keith Is A Perfect Handcuff Running Back
Colts backup running back Kenton Keith was arrested early Sunday morning for drunk and disorderly conduct and contributing to the delinquency of a minor after cops found him glassy-eyed and disrespectful outside of Cloud 9 nightclub in Indy....
The Patriots Plan On Doing The Faux Perfection Thing Again
It's a grand sports capitalist tradition to trademark a team's or an individual's achievements. Pat Riley grabbed "Threepeat;" Dennis Green, displaying a self-awareness we wouldn't have anticipated, snatched up "They are who we thought they were." The New England Patriots were all over this last ye...
This Week's Tasered Athlete: Tim Worley
Wait, you don't remember him? Me neither, so let's revisit his career. Tim Worley was a great running back for the University of Georgia (an All-American, at that) and the seventh overall draft pick by the Pittsburgh Steelers in 1989. He didn't have much of a pro career, lasting only four seasons, r...
We Won't Even Talk About The Pirate Ship On His Ass
All we really know about Mr. John Herold here is that he was arrested for trespassing on Feb. 1, 2008, somewhere in Florida. Now, seeing that the Tampa Bay Buccaneers' season ended on Jan. 6, we have to assume that those are permanent tattoos, right? Must have seemed like a good idea at the time. Su...
Roethlisberger Attempts To Renew Classic Steelers/Cowboys Rivalry
Perhaps he was coaxed into saying it by a sound bite-hungry Mike Tirico and Michelle Tafoya. Maybe he was just trying to make the December 7 game between the Cowboys and Steelers a little more melodramatic. Whatever the reason, Big Ben Roethlisberger, drinking champion and clumsy motorcyclist, has s...