nfl Page 942 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Packers Bong Guy Keeps Putting Lotion In The Basket
You may remember the not-at-all-creepy fellow who celebrated Brett Favre's 420th touchdown in the only appropriate fashion. Well, he has a new hit video, in honor of the Packers' shellacking of the Vikings last week....

Your Night Out With Brady Quinn
What could be a more attractive way to spend early 2008 that a Dance Revolution Party with Brady Quinn? You could have that chance!...

The Texans Bring You Deep Inside The Game
Say what you will about the Houston Texans organization, but they know how to sell their Web site. As End Zone Buzz discovered, the official Texans cheerleader page has some, uh, interesting Web innovations....

During The Lambeau Leap, Watch Your Nuts
You know, it was inevitable that this would happen at some point: During a Lambeau Leap, some fan grabbed wide receiver Ruvell Martin's crotch. That's just over the top....

Bill Belichick Is A Surly Dick
Michael Showalter is one of the minds behind The State and Stella and the writer and star of the films Wet Hot American Summer and The Baxter. We're a fan. He also, apparently, is a sports fan. To promote his new album Sandwiches And Cats, he's doing a pseudo tour of the various lousy blogs like our...

This Week In The SSW
For years — OK, a couple of days — Slate writer Robert Weintraub has been tinkering with a concept called The SSW, short for "The Sean Salisbury Wisdom," which tracks the consensus of the football punditocracy to ensure those triumphant declarations from Friday aren't flushed down the memory hole on...

Somebody Put The 49ers Out Of Their Misery
It seems kind of crazy, in retrospect, that anyone could have thought the 49ers were going to make some sort of leap this year. (Some idiots even picked them to win the division.) The biggest disappointment is that Mike Nolan is now looking so damned sharp for no good reason. What happened to these ...

The Dullest MNF Game Of Them All
It's not easy to come up with reasons to get excited about tonight's Monday Night Football game between the Seattle Seahawks and the San Francisco 49ers. We've been trying....

A Productive Way To Expend Your Rooting Energy
Dan Steinberg of DC Sports Bog waded into the morass that is the scene outside a Redskins-Eagles game ... and somehow lived to tell the tale....

Dick Nolan, Rest In Peace
Before Ronnie Lott and Joe Montana and Jerry Rice, there was a plucky band of guys in shiny gold pants with names like John Brodie, Gene Washington and Cedrick Hardman. Many don't remember that it wasn't Bill Walsh who put the San Francisco 49ers on the map; it was Dick Nolan. He was the first coach...

We Suspect The Pats Have Videotape Of The Incident
How do you know the Patriots are having a breakthrough, historic, crossover season? It's not just that they're undefeated; they now have their own crazy stalker lady....

The NFC Is Delicious And Nutritional
The Mighty MJD's Smorgasbord runs every Monday. Do enjoy....

The Gripping Ravens Quarterback Controversy
Say what you will about how bad Steve McNair has been this year … but it sure beats Kyle Boller. For Ravens fans, we can't imagine how depressing this sideline cutaway must be....

It's Vinatieri's Turn To Be The Lonesome Kicker
Tidbits and info smidgens from Week 10 in the NFL ......

Past, Present And Future Football Action
Brett Favre joined Dan Marino as the only quarterbacks in NFL history to throw for 60,000 yards during the Packers' 34-0 shellacking of the Vikings today. (Yes! I started the GB defense this week!) Adrian Peterson injured his knee thanks to an Al Harris helmet shot, but Jesus eventually rose and mad...

Budweiser's Right: The Browns Are So Good They Don't Even Need A Logo
Gus Johnson, calling that exhilarating Bills-Fins game today, just got done saying before the half that he thinks the Steelers are being slept on and that they could easily hang with the Patriots or Colts. DA says, "Suck on my Horse Balls, Gussy!" Browns 21, Steelers 9...

Settin' The One O'Clock NFL Table
Minnesota at Green Bay, FOX Last week, rookie sensation Adrian Peterson broke the single-game rushing record, picking up 296 yards and three touchdowns against the Bolts. So what can he possibly do for an encore? Well, personally I'm hoping to hear a "City Is Mine" or maybe an "Incarcerated Scarfac...

Just Like Indiana Jones, But Not
Non-Football TV • 12:30 — Sahara [TNT] • 1:00 — Bowling: PBA Etonic Championship [ESPN] • 1:00 — Boxing: Mike Tyson's Greatest Hits [ESPNC] • 1:00 — Golf: LPGA Tournament of Champions, Final-Round [GOLF] • 1:00 — Reindeer Games [FLIXe] • 1:00 — Rounders [FX] • 1:45 — Richie Rich [TBS] • 2:30 — NCAA ...

John Elway Should Be Free To Drink To His Heart's Content
The deification of John Elway in the Denver area is all-encompassing; we think Colorado might give Elway their presidential electoral votes just on general principle. Which is why we couldn't be more stunned: Someone cut off Elway from drinking at a bar!...

Mourning Your Grandmother Is Fineable Offense For Vikings
When we first heard that Minnesota Vikings wide receiver was being docked a game's pay for missing a game for his grandmother's funeral, we figured there had to be a catch. He had a history of skipping practice. He was generally an attitude problem. His grandmother was a Fascist. Something. But nope...