nfl Page 946 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Who Doesn't Love Joey Porter?
The Mighty MJD's Smorgasbord runs every Monday. Do enjoy....

Didn't You Used To Be Eric Mangini?
Tiny tidbits from Week 7 of the NFL Season ......

Who Knew Large Humans Could Get Winded Easily?
• Sure enough, the Dallas-Minnesota game is the nuttiest of the 4 o'clock bunch. After Vikings' defensive tackle Kevin Williams ran back Tony Romo's fumble about 80 or 90 yards into the end zone, you could see the trainer come out and squirt a water bottle on the back of his neck, because that's exa...

We Are All Calvinists
• I was rather impressed with Calvin Johnson's endaround touchdown where he eluded about three tackles by himself and had great wide receiver blocking downfield. The Buccaneers adorably recovered the onside kick late in the game and nailed a field goal, but couldn't get another onside kick to go the...

Houston Finally Returns To Texans-Style Football
Checking in with the halftime NFL scores, which by now are mid-third quarter scores ... • After a 2-0 start, The Houston Texans seem headed for the all-too-familiar losing record after this week, and Matt Schaub is no longer the fantasy quarterback steal of the year. But that still doesn't mean Atla...

Jake Plummer Is Obsessed With Tiny Blue Balls
It's Sunday, and the following quarterbacks are starting for NFL teams this week: Kerry Collins, Cleo Lemon, Kyle Boller, and Brian Griese. With Timmy Chang probably a Tim Rattay elbow injury away from getting a phone call, some fans are probably amazed that they could use the services Jake Plummer ...


Jerry Jones Can't Figure Out This Damn Spacebar
Via Touchdown.org comes one of the more amusing attempts by a professional sports franchise to master the series of tubes that is the Internets....

Bill Belichick Is Now Watching YOU
We hope you didn't buy any Patriots tickets through StubHub last year. Because if you did, the New England Patriots now have all your information....

The NFL Loves Those International Roiders
The NFL has long gotten a free pass on the whole steroid issue. Rafael Palmeiro is a cancer on his sport, but Shawne Merriman gets a really cool Michael Mann Nike ad. And now Roger Goodell is just throwing it in your face....

Jamboroo, Week 7: Where We Explore The Idea Of The NFL As Hangover Cure
Big Daddy Drew's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo previews the upcoming weekend of the NFL every, well, every Thursday afternoon....

Jimmy Kimmel Doesn't See What All The Fuss Is About
After his appearance on "Monday Night Football" earlier this week, Jimmy Kimmel has been banned from the program. This is supposed to be a punishment?...

At This Point, Vick Probably Owes YOU Money
You know, it's just not a Wednesday afternoon if someone isn't trying to get more money out of Michael Vick. Next up? His restaurant!...

David Boston Will Attack You With Comfortable Pillows
Poor David Boston. A Pro Bowl receiver with the Cardinals in 2001, he's dogged by injuries and bounces around to three other teams, tests positive for steroids, then is nabbed for DUI. And now the worst of all misdeeds: Domestic cushion assault....

Look For The Large Wide Receiver At Your Door Today
You know how Pizza Hut offered to explain the importance of tipping to Lions wide receiver Roy Williams, a notorious avoider of the practice. Well, today, Roy Williams is doing his part to understand how the other 99 percent lives....

A Peek Inside Mike Holmgren's Genius
Enjoy The Enjoyment points out something that we missed yesterday: A closeup of Seattle coach Mike Holmgren's play-calling chart....

This Week In The SSW
For years — OK, a couple of days — Slate writer Robert Weintraub has been tinkering with a concept called The SSW, short for "The Sean Salisbury Wisdom," which tracks the consensus of the football punditocracy to ensure those triumphant declarations from Friday aren't flushed down the memory hole on...

Brandon Lloyd Thinks Troy Aikman Listens To Coldplay
You might have heard about this by now, but just in case: It appears former Illini and current Washington Redskin Brandon Lloyd is taking his radio tips from Skip Bayless. That is to say: He's accusing Troy Aikman of being gay on the public airwaves....

MNF Still Haunts Joe Theismann's Corpse
Kimmel's quote: "And we welcome Joe Theismann watching from his living room with steam coming out of his ears." You know, we wouldn't mind seeing that, actually....