nfl Page 956 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

NFL Week One Roundup Of Random Notes And Bullet Points, As Is The Style
Thoughts on the first weekend of the NFL ... so glad to have it back ......

Jason Elam Will Steal Your Children In Broad Daylight
Comparisons of the NFL's opening weekend to March Madness have never rang truer. If you caught the end of the Broncos and Bills, you know exactly what we mean....

Four o'clock games at a glance...
What in the blue hell is up with this Taco Bell commercial where cops are doling out high-fives while strings of cheese hanging out of their mouths? Are we supposed to find that appetizing?...

Some First Half Updates...Quickly
Since all of us PC folk are now watching these games via streaming video, these updates are just for you Mac people. But, hey, Jeff Goldblum still thinks, uh, that you're, ah, a great guy-ee!...

NFL Pants Party: Super Bowl XLII
We're five long months away from the Super Bowl, and a lot can happen each week to change the complexion of the league. Still, it's worth trying to pick your Super Bowl teams now, because if your picks do turn out to be correct, you can be that one fuckface that runs around bragging about how you pr...

...AND WE ARE UNDERWAY!
By the way, this is exactly what the games will look like on my TV, but I don't give a shit. Football is finally back! We'll be in and out, and we'll have updates as we go. Enjoy the games, everyone, and check back when the assgrooves in your respective pieces of furniture need a quick breather....

Your One O'Clock Games...Quickly
Some of you have DirecTV. Most of you don't. In that case, here are some of the sweet games the the NFL has deemed your area unworthy to watch....

For Your Sunday Afternoon Viewing Pleasure
Last year, MJD provided you with regional coverage maps for the NFL, and we're happy to have located them once again. Click on the links to find the game in your area, plus the assigned announcing team:...

Here On ... CBSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
This is without question our favorite. If you can actually watch this and stop yourself from saying, "You are looking LIVE! at Soldier Field in Chicago," you are a stronger person than we are....

What Kind Of Sports Bar Societal Dregs Will You Encounter During Week 1?
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Email him to let him know what you think....

ESPN Hires Salisbury Upgrade
ESPN's "NFL Sunday Countdown" has tried all sorts of gimmicks to move the ratings dial up a tick, most famously hiring Rush Limbaugh to defend the long-persecuted white quarterback. But now they're trying something we wouldn't have even thought of: They're bringing in a 10-year-old....

Colts Fans Are Staying Hungry
Not the best of seats for this family, but it's closer to the snack bar. Plus, right after the game, I hear that he found the third Willie Wonka Golden Ticket!...

Wade Wilson's Totally Non-Flaccid Excuse
So here's something our Rick Ankiel could use as a defense, when he inevitably addresses the HGH story later today: He was trying to get a boner....

Man, The Colts Are Pretty Good
In case you had any question about it, the man in the white jersey is Jason David, former cornerback for the Indianapolis Colts, now corner for the Saints. He went against his old team last night. That shot of him, chasing somebody who has streaked past him? There are a lot of those....

No More Waiting Around; The NFL Is Back
You want to know how long it's been since there was some damned NFL football? The last time a game counted, we glogged it. It seems like decades ago. And now, with your last chance for sign up for the Pick 'Em Pool, we welcome an actual live season....

It's The AFC West Pants Party
OK, this is finally the last one of these. Thanks for hanging in, everybody. This might be the most lopsided division in the NFL, Norv or no Norv....

It's The AFC South Pants Party
Come on, somebody ... don't pick the Colts. We dare ya. Some picks! • AJ Daulerio: Colts, Titans, Jaguars, Texans. • Kissing Suzy Kolber: Colts, Jaguars, Texans, Titans. • Robert Weintraub, Slate: Colts, Jaguars, Titans, Texans. • Matt Pitzer, USA Today: Colts, Titans, Texans, Jaguars. • Aaron Sc...

The Norv Turner Watch Begins
You might remember the greatness that was Stop Shuler, the site that was devoted to keeping Heath Shuler out of Washington, not because of his politics, but because of his quarterbacking. Well, those guys are back, and with an even more noble target. Duck, Chargers fans....

Introducing Big Daddy Drew's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo
We are extremely excited to introduce Kissing Suzy Kolber's Big Daddy Drew's brand new column, which will run every Thursday during the NFL season. It'll preview the weekend's action, occasionally digress and mostly revel in the joy and anticipation we all feel at the end of every week, knowing th...

It's The AFC North Pants Party
Three fascinating teams in the AFC North ... and then the one that has Brady Quinn. What's not to like?...