nfl Page 957 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Please, No More MNF Doubleheaders
We're not sure why, exactly, we feel compelled to write about a game that we spent four hours writing about last night and just ended about eight hours ago ... and, oh yeah, was completely miserable to watch. But, alas, here we are....

Buzzsaw-49ers MNF Live Blog
All right, we'll tell you right now: This is a terrible idea. Not only have we been up since 4:15 this morning, but we're also in the odd position of attempting to type non-stop, for three hours, about the season opener of a team for which we have an emotional connection. And we're going to do it ...

Monday Night Football Returns ... And An Invitation
We noted that during the preseason, we enjoyed the work of the revamped "Monday Night Football" team; replacing Joe Theismann with Ron Jaworski really did make that much of a difference. But that was preseason....

OK, That's It, You're Grounded
Jason Krause is a nice kid who should be home watching The Suite Life of Zack and Cody, not speculating on the Lions' chances of winning 10 games this season. My favorite part is when he says of Roy Williams: "You want to hear something freakish, Roy? Look at your record; the Lions haven't had a win...

Welcoming Back The Smorgasbord
Longtime sports blog aficionados will remember the weekly Sunday Afternoon Smorgasbord, a real-time account of a full Sunday of NFL action by the great Mighty MJD. We are humbled and honored to welcome it back to the Internets, on our little site here, starting today. Take it away, MJD....

Inside Jason Elam's Incredible Kick
Stefan Fatsis, the author of Word Freak, sportswriter (on leave) from the Wall Street Journal and sports commentator on NPR's "All Things Considered," knows kickers. His upcoming book, A Few Seconds Of Panic, is about the modern NFL as experienced by Fatsis, a 5-8, 170-pound writer embedded as a kic...

NFL Week One Roundup Of Random Notes And Bullet Points, As Is The Style
Thoughts on the first weekend of the NFL ... so glad to have it back ......

Jason Elam Will Steal Your Children In Broad Daylight
Comparisons of the NFL's opening weekend to March Madness have never rang truer. If you caught the end of the Broncos and Bills, you know exactly what we mean....

Four o'clock games at a glance...
What in the blue hell is up with this Taco Bell commercial where cops are doling out high-fives while strings of cheese hanging out of their mouths? Are we supposed to find that appetizing?...

Some First Half Updates...Quickly
Since all of us PC folk are now watching these games via streaming video, these updates are just for you Mac people. But, hey, Jeff Goldblum still thinks, uh, that you're, ah, a great guy-ee!...

NFL Pants Party: Super Bowl XLII
We're five long months away from the Super Bowl, and a lot can happen each week to change the complexion of the league. Still, it's worth trying to pick your Super Bowl teams now, because if your picks do turn out to be correct, you can be that one fuckface that runs around bragging about how you pr...

...AND WE ARE UNDERWAY!
By the way, this is exactly what the games will look like on my TV, but I don't give a shit. Football is finally back! We'll be in and out, and we'll have updates as we go. Enjoy the games, everyone, and check back when the assgrooves in your respective pieces of furniture need a quick breather....

Your One O'Clock Games...Quickly
Some of you have DirecTV. Most of you don't. In that case, here are some of the sweet games the the NFL has deemed your area unworthy to watch....

For Your Sunday Afternoon Viewing Pleasure
Last year, MJD provided you with regional coverage maps for the NFL, and we're happy to have located them once again. Click on the links to find the game in your area, plus the assigned announcing team:...

Here On ... CBSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
This is without question our favorite. If you can actually watch this and stop yourself from saying, "You are looking LIVE! at Soldier Field in Chicago," you are a stronger person than we are....

What Kind Of Sports Bar Societal Dregs Will You Encounter During Week 1?
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Email him to let him know what you think....

ESPN Hires Salisbury Upgrade
ESPN's "NFL Sunday Countdown" has tried all sorts of gimmicks to move the ratings dial up a tick, most famously hiring Rush Limbaugh to defend the long-persecuted white quarterback. But now they're trying something we wouldn't have even thought of: They're bringing in a 10-year-old....

Colts Fans Are Staying Hungry
Not the best of seats for this family, but it's closer to the snack bar. Plus, right after the game, I hear that he found the third Willie Wonka Golden Ticket!...

Wade Wilson's Totally Non-Flaccid Excuse
So here's something our Rick Ankiel could use as a defense, when he inevitably addresses the HGH story later today: He was trying to get a boner....

Man, The Colts Are Pretty Good
In case you had any question about it, the man in the white jersey is Jason David, former cornerback for the Indianapolis Colts, now corner for the Saints. He went against his old team last night. That shot of him, chasing somebody who has streaked past him? There are a lot of those....