nfl Page 965 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Redskins Like Safeties
With the 6th pick of the NFL Draft, the Washington Redskins select LaRon Landry, S, LSU. Mike Tanier of Football Outsiders tells you all about it....
A Blocker Named Brown For The Buzzsaw
With the 5th pick of the NFL Draft, the Buzzsaw Select Levi Brown, OL Penn State. Mike Tanier of Football Outsiders tells you all about it....
Gruden's Consolation Prize Is Gaines Adams
With the 4th overall pick, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers take Gaines Adams, DE, Clemson. Mike Tanier of Football Outsiders tells you all about it....
Lucky Joe Thomas Gets To Go To Cleveland
The Cleveland Browns, with the 3rd overall pick, take Joe Thomas, OL, Wisconsin. Mike Tanier of Football Outsiders tells you all about it....
Matt Millen May Not Have Screwed This Up
The Detroit Lions, with the 2nd overall pick, take Calvin Johnson, WR, Georgia Tech. Mike Tanier of Football Outsiders tells you all about it....
Al Davis's New Best Friend: JaMarcus Russell
The Oakland Raiders, with the 1st overall selection, take JaMarcus Russell, QB, LSU. Mike Tanier of Football Outsiders tells you all about it....
Time For 12 Hours Of Names Being Read Aloud!
We will never forget last year's NFL Draft, when poor Matt Leinart suddenly realized he'd been drafted by The Buzzsaw That Is The Arizona Cardinals. We look forward to a similar reaction from Wisconsin offensive lineman Joe Thomas tomorrow, who might just jump off his fishing boat and try to drown h...
PETA Not Particularly Big Fans Of Our Man Vick
Some more blowback from the Ron Mexico dogfighting story from yesterday: PETA is calling for him to be released from the team if the allegations are proven true....
If You're Not Drafted Saturday, Friends, Don't Worry!
Before anyone gets too excited about the draft this Saturday, the Hall Of Fame Magazine cautions you to remember some of the great NFLers who were never even drafted. They include:...
Michael Vick Likes To Watch Dogs Kill Each Other
You know, as his "career" "progresses," we're starting to realize that Michael Vick's whole Ron Mexico imbroglio is among his least offensive incidents. (Because there's nothing offensive about herpes. Nothing!) It appears that Mr. Mexico has been accused of hosting illegal dog fights at an abandone...
They Just Love The Browns To The Very End
One thing we will never doubt is the intense, eternal devotion of Cleveland Browns "fans." And "eternal" is the key word: Even those about to be executed are woofing it up....
You Just Know Matt Millen's Gonna Pick This Guy
NFL teams preparing for Saturday's NFL Draft have a lot to figure out an individual player. They need to understand his attitude, they have to make sure he's not gonna get arrested a week after they draft him, they make certain he will fit into the team mindset they have patterned for their franchis...
Roger Goodell Is Judge, Jury And Executioner
Sure, we all laughed when Pac Man Jones was suspended by the NFL for a year, because it's Pac Man Jones, and everything Pac Man Jones does is funny. But CBS Sportsline's Clay Travis points out that NFL commissioner Roger Goodell was positively Orwellian in his sentence. After all, Pac Man is essenti...
From The Desk Of Norby (Norby!) Williamson
Because network press releases can sometimes be difficult to read, Burnt Orange Nation does us all a favor and makes "a few minor edits" to ESPN's recent announcement of its NFL draft coverage....
Nothing Says Quaint And Quiet Like 200 Pounds Of Camera Equipment
Saturday is the NFL Draft — they sneak up on you, really — and one guy who won't be there is Wisconsin offensive tackle Joe Thomas, who says he has a previously scheduled fishing trip and can't miss it. No problem, says The NFL Network: We'll just bring a camera out to the lake....
Buy Yourself A Piece Of Michael Strahan... Cheap
So rarely do the worlds millionaire athletes and yard sales collide. But, you know, it's not every day that athletes get cleaned out in a divorce quite like Michael Strahan did. And this weekend, at her (formerly his) mansion, Jean Strahan sold a bunch of his shit....
Pacman, Mario Both Deeply Apologize, Sort Of
It's a morning of apologies around the world of the NFL. First off, our main man Pac Man Jones took out a full page ad in The Tennessean saying, you know, sorry about that whole suspension thing....
Lawrence Phillips Goes For Rare Triple Crown
An old George Carlin comedy routine had a good time mocking California's "Three Strikes And You're Out" policy of jailing three-time felons for life; Carlin pointed out that the writing of laws for the incarceration of our citizens should perhaps not be based in cute and funny baseball terms. But as...
What? Football Stars Smoke Pot?
Pro Football Weekly has unearthed a pleasant little nugget from the endless parade of young men flexing in their underwear that is the NFL Draft: Three of the top expected draft picks admitted to smoking pot....
Brian Urlacher Deplenished Of $100 Grand Worth Of Fluid
OK, so we'll say it: We don't find Gatorade the slightest bit replenishing. We think it mostly tastes like urine distilled through a coffee machine, but that's less to the point; when we work out, the last thing we want is a sugary thick beverage. We're working out to lose calories; why would we wan...