nfl Page 984 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
NFL Week Seventeen, Update #1
• In the afternoon's one important game, the Jets lead the Raiders 7-3 late in the second quarter. Give the Raiders credit, they're not just going to lay there and take it. Chad Pennington has managed to complete 12 of 16 passes and only has 67 passing yards to show for it. This week's Raiders featu...
The Bodily Functions Of Bryant Gumbel
What better way to spend New Years than trying to figure out if it was really Bryant Gumbel that you heard belching during last night's Redskins/Giants game? At a couple of points during the broadcast, some miscellaneous belches were heard coming from the booth. Pro Football Talk (those guys are tho...
As The Mess Begins To Unfold...
If the Giants lose tonight, tomorrow's NFL day gets a lot more interesting and confusing. If they win tonight, a playoff spot is theirs, most likely. If they lose, though, there are four other teams, all of them terrible, that could claim the spot tomorrow. I don't care much about either of these te...
Danny White And Herschel Walker Would Like To Wish You A Belated Merry Christmas
In case you needed a little push to take down the last of those Christmas decorations, this should stomp out your remaining holiday cheer. We offer you the 1986 Dallas Cowboys singing Christmas in Dallas, proving that there were other disasters besides the Challenger Space Shuttle and Iran-Contra th...
Car Penetrates Fred Smoot's Face
Fred Smoot's jaw is broken in five places as the result of a recent car accident, and he's out of the hospital and recovering, according to Vikings head coach Brad Childress. There aren't a lot of details available at the moment, but there is no reason to believe (well, not much reason, anyway) that...
Doug Johnson Must Be Some Kind Of Douchebag
With a staggering 39% of the vote, Terrell Owens was the "winner" of an SI.com poll among NFL athletes on the subject of the league's most annoying player. Owens was one of only two players to get into a double digit percentage, the other being Joey Porter with a disappointing 10%....
Spit Shield Purchases Skyrocketing In North Carolina
Steelers head coach Bill Cowher, beloved in many places that are not Seattle, may have given some clues yesterday about his plans for the future. He didn't announce anything, but said he'd have something to say about it next week. If he was going to stay, though, why wait to say it?...
Ref Played Bird, Quarterback Played Randy Johnson
Umpire Garth DeFelice couldn't get out of the way in time when Garrard threw a pass over the middle, and when he turned away from the ball, it hit him and he dropped like a sack of potatoes. DeFelice stayed on the ground for several minutes, but he eventually walked off the field. Garrard, showing c...
So Much Favre Love You'll Blow Your Head Off
By week 17 of the NFL season, most teams are either already locked into their playoff positions or already eliminated. That means the average NFL player cares as much about the 16th game of the season as Shaq cares about the 10th through 70th games of the NBA season....
NFL Week Sixteen, Update #1
• Texans 21, Colts 14. The latest running back to beat up the Colts defense... ladies and gentlemen, Ron Dayne. Dayne has 88 yards and two touchdowns in the first half, and the Texans lead the Colts, 21-14. Manning's been sharp, Addai's been productive, and Marvin is Marvin... but none of it matters...
It's A Big Day For The Millen Haters
The latest in Lions fan protests is happening, oh, any time now. At some point in the second quarter, Lions fans are urged to walk out of Ford Field en masse. The goal, I believe, is not necessarily to voice their anger with Matt Millen, but rather with the guy who won't fire him, team owner William...
A Year From Now, Art Shell Will Be Wearing A Santa Suit In A Mall
I know that the appropriate thing to do here is to make a hateful comment towards the NFL Network, but you know what? I get the NFL Network. The NFL Network and me are on pretty good terms....
Oh, Brett, Won't You Just Let Us Into Your Heart?
What could be a more fitting final image of Brett Favre's career as a Green Bay Packer than throwing an interception for a touchdown (to Fred Smoot, of all people) and winning anyway because of three field goals from a guy named "Dave Rayner?" OK, well, maybe lots of things — we were kind of assumin...
It's Brett Favre's Last Game In Green Bay! (Totally!)
A statement we kind of can't believe we're making: Brett Favre might as well go ahead and come back next year. It's no like Aaron Rodgers is all raring to go or anything; the Packers are directionless and boring otherwise, so we might as well watch The Gunslinger Mentality flip shit in the air 16 mo...
What The Kids In Nashville Are Up To
This is Tennessee Titans wide receiver Drew Bennett, from yesterday's Tennessean, reminding us once again how happy we are that they let white people play football....
Can You Tell Them How To Get (How To Get) To The Playoffs?
This photo, from today's New York Times, shows various New York Jets hanging out with Elmo on "Sesame Street." We loved "Sesame Street" as a kid, and have little desire to make fun of the show or anyone for appearing on it. That said, right after this photo was taken, Coles and Elmo shared stories o...
That's A Nice, Uh, Sweater Vest, Coach
In one of those little moments that make life with high definition television so much better than life before high definition television, an eagle-eyed reader caught a split-second incident last night, fleeting, that shows just how much the Indianapolis Colts staff loves Tony Dungy....
Peyton Manning Does Brief Alpha Dog Impression
See, this is what we were talking about. Going into last night's Monday Night game, the Bengals were the team with the defense that was playing well at the right time, the Colts were collapsing (because Tony Dungy isn't "tough" enough, or something) and the entire AFC was topsy-turvy, if you don't m...
The Last Worthy MNF Game, We Suspect
In what should be an awfully fun and hopefully high-scoring Monday night game, the Indianapolis Colts and the Cincinnati Bengals, teams going in the ole "opposite directions" storyline. This being the NFL, everyone will forget the storylines once, you know, they actually play a game....