nfl Page 987 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
That's Nothing: We Once Got Busy In A Burger King Bathroom
Well, it's not exactly the greatest all-time bathroom stall story, but hey, it's Seattle, not Tampa: We'll take what we can get....
They May Take Our Lives, But They'll Never Take OUR PENIS!
Indiana police and Purdue campus security will be keeping a sharp eye on the student section at Ross Ade Stadium on Saturday. Why? This letter, received by the Purdue student newspaper on Tuesday, should explain things:...
Matt Leinart Produces Spawn
We'd like to formally welcome Cole Leinart, son of Buzzsaw quarterback Matt Leinart and former USC basketball player Brynn Cameron, to this rotating orb we call earth. Cole Cameron Leinart was born Tuesday night in California, and Leinart was there, which was nice, because he's not gonna be around f...
Lynn Swann Brings Many Skills To The Political Table
Not to bring up politics again, but as many as you know, former Steelers Hall of Famer Lynn Swann is running for governor of Pennsylvania. As anyone who has ever spent time in the general vicinity of the great city of Pittsburgh, part of your duties as political candidate is to play beer pong with y...
Ben Roethlisberger Falls To Pieces
We don't mean to imply that Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger is suffering from an alarmingly high number of ailments right now, but we think we saw this sign on a telephone pole outside our current Mattoon dwelling earlier today....
Well, That Didn't Take Long At All
Not that you couldn't see this coming, but we'll confess, it's somewhat sooner than we necessarily expected....
That'll Be All, Bill
You know, it's funny: The Dallas Cowboys' season appears to be disintegrating, and even though Terrell Owens had to go so far as to try to kill himself to derail the team, he seems to be the least of their problems....
No Steroids In The NFL, Nope: That's Baseball's Problem
If you will, a case study:...
Donovan McNabb Has A Weak Constitution
Amazingly, Eagles quarterback Donovan McNabb did this before Buccaneers kicker Matt Bryant kicked a 62-yard field goal — with room to spare! — to beat his team yesterday....
Everybody's Getting Naked On The Internet These Days
Taking a cue from the success of Redskins.com last season, the Philadelphia Eagles have been streaming postgame interviews with their players on their official Web site. Considering yesterday's difficult loss, you can find plenty of people with plenty to talk about....
NFL Roundup: Chiefs Party On The Field This Time
News And Notes From Week 7 Of The NFL...
NFL Week Seven, Update #3
• Redskins 14, Colts 13. Not only did the people of Indianapolis have to deal with the fright of seeing Peyton Manning's body's body get bent in the opposite direction that Kenny Chesney usually bends it, but the Colts are losing to the underdog Redskins. Manning's fine, I guess it's not that big of...
NFL Week Seven, Update #2
• Buccaneers 23, Eagles 21. Tampa Bay kicker Matt Bryant has a leg like Tom Jones's dick. Bryant hit a 62-yarder with no time left on the clock to give the Buccaneers the win, and actually put them on a little bit of a winning streak. Donovan McNabb threw for over 300 yards and three touchdowns, b...
NFL Week Seven, Update #1
• Panthers 14, Bengals 7. Three touchdowns in the game, but none of them belong to Steve Smith or Chad Johnson. For Carolina, it's been the electric Nick Goings and the human highlight reel, Kris Mangum. For the Bengals, it's someone named "R. Kelly," and I think hs first name is Reggie, but I'm not...
Week 7 NFL Preview: Fox Finally Gets To Use Their Steve Hutchinson Cam
Vikings @ Seahawks. They've dubbed it the Steve Hutchinson Bowl, which might be the lamest and least-exciting name ever given to a game that isn't actually a bowl game (I believe the Poulan Weedeater Bowl still trumps all). But while the name might be goofy, there appears to be something to it: th...
Revenge Of The Nerds
Our first thought when we heard of the NFL "terror threat" on Thursday? Al Qaeda is slipping; Osama is just phoning it in at this point. As Sportsocracy pointed out (in a post we mentioned on Thursday), three of the seven prospective terror targets were hosting afternoon games. What, the terrorist...
You Can Shove Your Sorrys In A Sack, Mister
The week began with violence and bravado, but has concluded in ignominious regret. Yes, it's time for the "sorry" roundup. And while none of these apologies rise to the level of that of that of the great Pete Rose, rest assured that all of the participants are nonetheless terribly filled with sham...
Sir, Please Allow Me To Retort
The Bills play the Patriots this weekend, and, just for shits and giggles, we present you this video of a Bills fan from last year who would like everyone to know that, in his opinion, the Bills have a more skilled roster and a better coaching stuff than the Patriots....
All Your NFL Stadiums Are Belong To Us
Apparently, unlike some people, the Associated Press has no problem with what "underground" Web sites report. According to AP — in a Wednesday post on ESPN — an Internet site claimed that seven NFL stadiums will be hit with dirty bombs this weekend....
You Don't Like Your Team As Much As Browns Fans Do
This is old, but we hadn't seen it: Some magazine or something ranked all 32 NFL teams on their fan loyalty. We like little lists like this, but we're kind of Tourettic....