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NFL Roundup: The Steamrolling Saints And Jets
News And Notes From Week 13 in the NFL....

Sunday Night Football: Seahawks @ Broncos
Tonight, Jay Cutler becomes the next Broncos quarterback that no one in Denver will like because his name isn't "John Elway." Well, that might not be true. They could end up liking him. Denver had Super Bowl hopes as recent as a few weeks ago, so all Cutler has to do is rescue the floundering team, ...

NFL Week Thirteen, Update #4
• The Texans beat the Raiders. I feel like taking a baseball bat to my television, and I didn't even care who won this game. I don't even think anyone in Oakland or Houston cared about who won this game. Ron Dayne, the man whose career would not die, carried the ball 18 times for 95 yards. David C...

NFL Week Thirteen, Update #3
• Last week, Mathias Kiwanuka had Vince Young wrapped up for a sack, and let him go... this week, Kiwanuka intercepted a pass, and them fumbled it right back to the Cowboys. It's as if he wants Tom Coughlin to kill him in his sleep. Eli Manning is sort of outplaying Tony Romo right now. Romo's got 2...

NFL Week Thirteen, Update #2
• What a week for Pac-Man Jones... he gets his seized car back at a bargain price, and now, his Titans have pulled the big-time upset of Indianapolis Colts. And they did it despite wearing powder blue uniforms, which is normal and fine... except when paired with powder blue pants, when it starts to ...

NFL Week Thirteen, Update #1
• This one... I do not understand. The Lions have walked onto the shiny new FieldTurf surface and are leading the Patriots 10-3. It's been the Mike Furrey show, as he has six catches for 77 yards and a touchdown. The Bill Belichick genius has been effective to this point in his career, but the one t...

There's A Football World Cup? Real Football?
We're not sure how we missed this, but apparently, in July 2007, there's going to be a football World Cup. And not the weird foreign kind of football either; we mean, like, real football....

Pac Man Gets His Ride Back
You might remember, about a month ago, when the car belong to Titans defensive back Pac Man Jones went up for a police auction. We wondered then who, in fact, might want a car with the official Pac Man logo stitched into the headrest....

The Big Ben Police Dog
We bring you this famous YouTube video of the world's worst police dog in honor of the news that Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger has offered to buy a new police dog for his hometown of Findlay, Ohio, after theirs was killed when it ran into a neighbor's yard. (Deserved it, too!)...

Bengals Love A Rainy Night
We're not sure when the Bengals defense suddenly got all uppity, but jeez, that could be an entirely different team all of a sudden. In the Bengals' 13-7 win over the Ravens last night, the Cincy defense almost threw another shutout, their second in a row, and staved off the Ravens' attempt to cli...

Bengals Receivers Takes Their Antics To Basic Cable
We promise to someday stop bitching about this — probably when the season ends — but once again, we, as Time Warner Cable subscribers, will not be able to watch tonight's Bengals-Ravens game, because it's on the NFL Network, and even though we somehow get the Al Gore slacker news channel, we don't g...

Bill Romanowski Would Still Like To Pump You Up
Back before there was Tony Romo, God of all that he surveys, there was of course the original RoboRomo, the steroid-addled, spitting monstrosity that is Bill Romanowski. The Other Romo was considered one of the cutting edge steroid users, and he admitted using them not only to "60 Minutes" but als...

Free Mikey
The sea was angry that day, my friends. Like an old man returning soup at a deli....

Please, Someone, Make Strahan Just Go Away
All right, we'll say it: We absolutely do not believe Michael Strahan when he does anything anymore. Everything the guy does seems so calculated, so media-savvy, so gay dramatic ... well, we just don't buy it anymore. If this guy played in Jacksonville, no one would know about him, or care....

'Dallas Clark Is Awesome. Seriously. (Please Don't Hurt Us)'
The folks over at Rooster Teeth.com are small-boned, practical folk. So when they angered large, muscular Indianapolis Colts tight end Dallas Clark recently with a rather unflattering portrayal of him on a video game commercial, they quickly scrambled to make amends. They drafted a letter of apology...

Welcome To The Romo Bandwagon Express, With No Stops Until Jan. 20
With Steve Silverman's love note to Tony Romo on MSNBC this morning, let the worship of the Dallas quarterback officially begin. Not that it started with Silverman by any means — Madden has been giving Romo verbal backrubs for more than a month now. But we're just wondering if America is ready for t...

Justin Gatlin Finds A Sport That Doesn't Mind That He Uses Steroids
When your fourth wide receiver is a guy named David Anderson, it's probably not a bad idea for you to explore all possible options, but the Houston Texans are taking it to a (not really all that) new level....

The Case Against Brunch Mavens Coaching NFL Teams
You know, it turns out that seeking out your top offensive minds from Idahoans accustomed to making waffles and pouring orange juice down the gullets of nostalgia-seeking tourists isn't the best way to run a football team....

Jake Plummer Has No Qualms About Doing This Again
Everybody has a cross to bear. Some of us were always picked last in kickball and still harbor resentment about it. Some of us have a lifelong fear of spiders, or horses, or, say, snakes. Some of us become never-nudes. We all have to overcome something....

The Snow Is Finally Here, And The Playoffs Aren't Far Behind
For all the talk of Brett Favre and Matt Hasselbeck and a dogged night from Shaun Alexander, the main impression we took from last night's MNF Seahawks' win over the Packers was: SNOW! Screw Thanksgiving: We know the holidays are really upon us when it's snowing real hard and people are falling over...