nfl Page 994 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
David Akers, Kicker Badass
If you needed any more proof that Philadelphia Eagles kicker David Akers is ready to take on all comers, we present David Akers ... kickboxer! We suppose, if you're kicking for a living anyway, you might as well figure out how to kick, you know, humans....
A Day At Paul Brown Stadium
So, we are sad to report that we did not make it to Bengals wide receiver Chad Johnson's dramatic interpretation of the chicken dance at Cincinnati's Oktoberfest on Saturday afternoon; we figured by the time we actually made it downtown, we'd be too far away to see anything but the tip of Johnson's ...
NFL Roundup: Take Solace In Akers
Observations and tidbits from a day of football ...>...
NFL Week 2: Update #4
Denver 9, Kansas City 6. This wasn't football, this was a crime against football. I shouldn't even mention it here. Three hours of straight boredom. And since I don't want to talk about it, let me just mention this: I have three QBs on my fantasy roster: Chad Pennington, Rex Grossman, and Jake Plumm...
NFL Week 2: Update #3
Tennessee 0, San Diego 17. And it's not really as close as the score would indicate. Kerry Collins and Vince Young have booth seen time at quarterback, and honestly, the Titans might be better off just playing without a quarterback. Lure Eric Crouch out of retirement, and run the option....
NFL Week 2: Update #2
Detroit 7, Chicago 34. And welcome back to the Detroit Lions. All that Week One optimism looks a little misguided at this point. Not that they're destined to be as bad as the Raiders or anything, but they're still 0-2 and just got their asses beat by Rex Grossman (20-of-27 for 289 yards and 4 TDs)....
Michael Irvin, Koren Robinson, And Ricky Williams Have A Song For You
Click icon to play video ...
NFL Week 2: Update #1
Cleveland 3, Cincinnati 14. Chad Johnson caught a touchdown pass for the Bengals, and followed it up with... the chicken dance. The era of awesome touchdown celebrations may be officially over. When we're doing dances that are designed for white people to do at weddings, I think we're in trouble. I ...
NFL Week 2: Things You'll Want To See
Oakland @ Baltimore. This game should answer some questions on exactly how bad Oakland could be. I really believe that they've got the potential to be one of the all-time legendary disasters in sports history. A key to this, though, is keeping Aaron Brooks healthy. They can't reach the depths they'r...
Never, Ever Bet On The Texans
In the wake of last week's free-furniture-if-the-Bears-shut-out-the-Packers promotion in Chicago, the folks at Gallery Furniture, the huge Texas furniture place that even hosts a bowl game from time to time, has decided to push all its chips to the middle of the table, 10-gallon hat style....
Imagine What They'll Call It When They Actually Use It
Far be it from us to pretend to be experts in branding, but this new marketing gimmick for the Cleveland Browns, obviously a "riff" (and "riff" is being generous) on the Steelers' Terrible Towel, is actually called The Dirty Brown Towel....
OK, We Get Dibs On The Vikings
For those who find the pace of Madden '07 a little too frantic, here's some good — that is to say, fake — news. Introducing Madden Bye-Week '07, in which you control your various NFL players' off-the-field activities during their team's bye week. We're still waiting for our copy, but the "reviewer" ...
Return To Irreverence!
We knew the Oakland Raiders were going to be a source of consistent amusement throughout this season, through ineptitude, disorganization or simple befuddlement, but we didn't quite expect it to happen so soon....
Unfortunately, It Appears Emmitt's Going To Be On This Show For A While
Last night, Emmitt Smith continued his inevitable decline into post-athlete career depression by "shining" on "Dancing With The Stars," impressing the judges with his ... aw, jeez, we can't even type this without feeling bad about ourselves and everything about sports....
Chad Johnson Is A Chicken Dance Maestro
As many have pointed out before, the vast majority of hardcore NFL fans have never attended an actual game in person. Factors include the rarity of games, the high ticket expense and the fear that someone in a dog mask will steal your wheelchair....
Everybody Needs Some Tailgating Backup
We know those who use wheelchairs are capable of doing just about anything that those who can stand and walk can do; we suspect some of you are doing that very thing right now. Unless you're trying to get to the upper deck of RFK Stadium, nothing should stand in your way as a sports fan....
Hey, Let's Play Two Every Monday!
While we acknowledge that the "Monday Night Football" crew might still have some bugs to iron out, as evidenced by this inventive description of new Vikings offensive lineman Steve Hutchinson, on the whole, it was a pretty smooth night of football, considering it went for almost seven hours....
Kornheiser, You're Being Glib
We mean no offense to Redskins fans, but when your owner is hosting Tom Cruise in his luxury box — when he's staying at your owner's house — we kind of think that maybe you deserve to lose....
Monday Night And Tuesday Morning Football
You know, we watched football all day yesterday, and it absolutely wore us out. As great as it is, that's a lot of football. But imagine that actually starting at night....
Perhaps Fergie Can Return Punts
They opened up the Pink Taco yesterday ... and the Black Eyed Peas welcomed a new member....