nhl-closer Page 2 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

March Of The Penguins
Perhaps next time Jaromir Jagr should Czech his trash talking at the door (PUNTASTIC BURN!!!!) as the not quite Mario Lemieux-level Sidney Crosby and Evgeni Malkin helped to erase a 3-0 Rangers lead to give the Pens a 1-0 series advantage. Jagr had a chance to tie in the waning moments, but clanged ...

Mike, It's Mom. Hey, Didn't You Retire?
The NHL Closer is written by the five big kids over at Melt Your Face-Off. Separated, they are a quintet of meandering hockey bloggers. But combined, they make up the most powerful Blogging Voltron the Interwebs has ever seen. That is, if one of them would just give in and agree to be the fat guy wh...

Game Sevens Beyond Thunderdome
The NHL Closer is written by the five degenerates over at Melt Your Face Off, who attempt to reconcile their deviant behavior by invoking Sykes & Matza's Neutralization Theory and participating in the recreational pursuits of latch-hooking and bad MS Paint projects....

No Eternal Return For Bruins
The NHL Closer is written by five pretentious, post-punk musicians from Melt Your Face Off. We reach for our revolver when Kristen Bell isn't pictured....

We Were Told There Would Be Beer And Pretzels
The NHL Closer is written by five complete psychopaths from Melt Your Face-Off. If you prick us, do we not bleed? If the voices in our head speak to us, do we not answer? If you puts boobs on our closers, do we not click through the jump?...

Overtime Is Not Ovie Time
The NHL Closer is written by the five sophisticated gentlemen at Melt Your Face Off. When not sampling caviar and fine bordeaux, they enjoy attending monster truck rallies and frog-gigging....

Murray Season, Fire!
The NHL Closer is written by the five horny gentlemen from Melt Your Face Off. We accept tips in the form of Krispy Kremes, Pappy Van Winkle whiskey and whatever powder comes off Lindsay Lohan's C-notes....

The Ducks Aren't Licked Yet
The NHL Closer is written by the five delightful gentlemen from Melt Your Face Off. When not writing for MYFO and commenting on Deadspin, the fellas enjoy spending time listening to songs that are a trip with a funky beat that they can bug out to. Enjoy....

He Is The Dungeon Master. His Rules
The NHL Closer is written by Melt Your Face Off....

Introducing Your New, Healthier NHL Closer
Greetings. Weed Against Speed here. With Wyshynski gone to The Exclamation Point, my fellow editors and I at Melt Your Face Off are proud to take the reins of the NHL Closer for the rest of the Playoffs. Don't worry. There will still be hot chicks in little clothing....

That's One Sad Duck
The defending champion's from Anaheim are in some trouble after suffering a second home loss to open their series with the Dallas. A 5-2 victory puts the Stars in control of the first round series as the teams head to Dallas for the next contest. Things were tied up heading into the third period whe...

When Your Fans Blow ... Up Their Cups
The NHL Closer is written by Greg Wyshynski, of FanHouse and The Fourth Period. He is also the author of Glow Pucks And 10-Cent Beer....

Two Cheers, One Boo for the Elderly
The NHL Closer is written by Greg Wyshynski, of FanHouse and The Fourth Period. He is also the author of Glow Pucks And 10-Cent Beer....

Gleefully Crushing Playoff Dreams
Since tedious analysis is the stuff of "power rankings," each Monday NHL Closer writer Greg Wyshynski uses a form of universal expression: Success in terms of beer. Before we get to the hockey equivalent of a girly slap-fight, welcome to The Brewmeister Ratings......

The Golfing In Vancouver Is Lovely
The NHL Closer is written by Greg Wyshynski, of FanHouse and The Fourth Period. He is also the author of Glow Pucks And 10-Cent Beer....

Can You Smell The Sidney/Ovie In The Air?
The NHL Closer is written by Greg Wyshynski, of FanHouse and The Fourth Period. He is also the author of Glow Pucks And 10-Cent Beer....

The Playoffs Will Bend Your Wookie
The NHL Closer is written by Greg Wyshynski, of FanHouse and The Fourth Period. He is also the author of Glow Pucks And 10-Cent Beer....

People Who Aren't Allowed To Touch Stanley This Year
The NHL Closer is written by Greg Wyshynski, of FanHouse and The Fourth Period. He is also the author of Glow Pucks And 10-Cent Beer....

Heroes, Villains And Hockey Hookers
Since tedious analysis is the stuff of "power rankings," each Monday NHL Closer writer Greg Wyshynski uses a form of universal expression: Success in terms of beer. Before we get to hookers clearing Sean Avery's good name, welcome to The Brewmeister Ratings......

The Rangers Are The No. 1 Cause Of Depression
The NHL Closer is written by Greg Wyshynski, of FanHouse and The Fourth Period. He is also the author of Glow Pucks And 10-Cent Beer....