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Your NHL Playoffs Open Thread
At 7 p.m., the Canadiens visit the Bruins. Then, the Flyers host the Sabres. Finally, the nightcap features the Los Angeles Kings and San Jose Sharks. HOCKEY. (PHOTO: Afflictor)...

If You Throw An Octopus On The Ice in Detroit You Could Be Fined $500 And Ejected (UPDATE: Statements from Red Wings, Police)
Tommy B. got home from last night's Detroit/Phoenix game but despite a Game One victory, he was sad. Sad because he had a run-in with Johnny Law. This, because he threw an octopus on the ice....

Semin Leads The Capitals To Sweet, Sweaty Extended-Time Victory
Your morning roundup for April 14, the day San Dimas High School football no longer rules in the eyes of the Chinese government....

Your Start Of The National Hockey League Playoffs Open Thread
So, the hockey season that actually matters is about to start, with the Phoenix Kai Oats visiting the Red Wings (Nos. 6 and 3 in the Western Conference respectively) and the Tampa Bay Lightning heading to Pittsburgh for some 4-versus-5 eastside action....

Dueling Mullets Welcome You To Day One Of The NHL Playoffs
Your morning roundup for April 13, the day Justin Bieber reminded us that the Middle East is still fucked up....

Canada Acknowledges That Its Hockey Is More Important Than Its Politics
Canada has rescheduled a French federal election debate to accommodate the opening game of the Montreal-Boston game on Thursday. We admire the compromise: here in the states, we'd probably just have had to choose based on which event made for a better drinking game....

NHL Playoff Blood Flows Red On The Regular-Season Rink
Thanks to tipster Noah D. for sending in this shot of Johan Franzen of the Detroit Red Wings after he'd been face-cut by Blackhawk Duncan Keith's stick in today's regular-season finale....

A Bunch Of Guys Who Dyed Their Hair Blondish Won The NCAA Hockey Championship Last Night
Your morning roundup for April 10, the day a Virginia elementary school principal assures you the fourth-grade teacher didn't really put black and mixed-race students up for sale....

Even The Top Seed In The Playoffs Isn't Good Enough For This Expressive Bulls Fan
Your morning roundup for April 9, the day it became painfully evident that knowledge gleaned from the Old Testament and YouTube videos do not a professional at-home circumcisionist make....

College Kid Who Cried "Coach Attacked Me" Apparently Decided To Steal Two Beers From The Phillies
Your morning roundup for April 8, the day the Associated Press union decided to stick it to The Man, with whom it's negotiating a new contract, by not promoting stories on Facebook and Twitter next week. Consequences will never be the same....

Chicago's Marty Turco Uses Bench Time To Place Bets With Fans, Write "Turco Rules!" On $5 Bills
Marty Turco signed a one-year contract with Chicago last summer and expected to start in net for the Blackhawks. But for much of the season, he's served as Corey Crawford's back-up and has gotten well-acquainted with the pine. He hasn't started a game since Feb. 11. So Turco's now looking for new so...

Callahan Breaks Ankle After Chara Shot; Rangers' Body Count Piles Up Again
This hurts to watch. In a 5-3 win over Boston last night, the kind of win that Rangers fans have dreamed of, the kind that eliminated Toronto from playoff contention and made it that much harder for Carolina to worm its way in, there was so much good. The Rangers scored five unanswered goals. It s...

If A Hockey Writers' Protest Emerges From Long Island, And No One Hears It...
So, as surprising as the thought might be, there is a hockey team playing its games in Nassau Veterans Memorial Coliseum, best known to you as the venue that hosted that awful concert you once had to drag your niece to. That hockey team is the 30-37-12 New York Islanders, which even has a couple spr...

If You Wanted A Think Piece About The "Hockey Luvin Homos," Puck Buddies Got Your Back
From the preeminent website "for boys who like boys who like hockey" comes a follow-up to this week's widespread discovery of Vancouver's front-row "Hockey Luvin Homos."...

The Kentucky Wildcats Refused To Go Down Without A Fight Or An Internationally-Televised Nut Tap
Your morning roundup for April 3, the day it became clear that 16-year-old girls at meth labs hope you have rabies....

Dennis Rodman Recognizes The Importance Of Family
Your morning roundup for April 2, the day that the color starts returning to the knuckles of passengers and crew on Southwest Flight 812, the plane with a three-foot hole in its side....

It Took A Self-Proclaimed "Hockey Luvin Homo" To Make A Canucks-Kings Game Noteworthy
Your morning roundup for April 1, the day you are permitted to seek vengeance against anybody who you think has wronged you, with no legal ramifications whatsoever....

Today's The Day Baseball Fans Everywhere Except Pittsburgh Dream Of World Series Victory
Your morning roundup for March 31, the day a Bellaire, Ohio chair mourns the obese man who sat upon it for the past two years, leaving more than skin behind....

Which Hockey Teams Get The Most Owies?
Consider this a hockey PSA: James Mirtle has published his annual breakdown of man-games lost to injury. The numbers match the perception pretty closely, and the figures are an invaluable resource when making excuses for your crappy team....

Jimmer Left The Court With A Bandage On His Chin, But Kyle Singler Probably Saw His Mom Crying
Your morning roundup for March 25, the day rockhopper penguins fight for their oil-slicked lives....