nhl Page 187 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Patrick Kane Is More Alcohol Than Man At This Point
It's apparently Patrick Kane week here at Deadspin. So please accept this dump of assorted drunken sightings of the Blackhawks hero tooling around with Jimmy Buffett, rocking the flat-brimmed Reds cap, and getting "iced."...

Patrick Kane's Drunken Stanley Cup Road Trip Rolls On
That crazy kid puts down the Twlight books for a second to bring the Cup to Wrigleyville watering hole Moe's Cantina. Drinking out of the cup, and using it to pick up chicks? You betcha....

Patrick Kane Loves Him Some <em>Twilight</em>
Seen on MySpace: Stanley Cup Winner. Likes: Team Edward. Dislikes: When my mom comes in my room without knocking first....

Breaking: Patrick Kane, Stanley Cup Stuck Atop A Ladder Truck In Downtown Buffalo
That is all. You may resume your business. [h/t Tom]...

Manitoba Man Charged For Calling Police To Get Winnipeg Jets Back
The man "had apparently been drinking" when he made a series of 911 calls, demanding that the RCMP find a way to get the NHL back to Winnipeg. Gary Bettman is just behind Snidely Whiplash on their most-wanted list. [Winnipeg Free Press]...

Last Night's Winner: The NHL Growing A Pair For Once
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the NHL, which by rejecting Ilya Kovalchuk's contract did the right thing; unfortunately they've been doing the wrong thing for so long, they just come off hypocritical....

Ilya Kovalchuk's 17-Year Contract Is So, So Illegal, And The NHL Can't Do Anything About It
It's being reported that Ilya Kovalchuk, 27 years old, re-signed with the Devils for 17 years and $100-plus million. What gives? Oh, nothing. Just New Jersey taking a dump on the salary cap, and wiping its ass with the CBA....

Jonathan Toews's Namesake Lake Offensive To Canadian War Dead
Stanley Cup hero Toews had a lake named after him in his home province of Manitoba. Neat, right? Well, it's an honor usually reserved for casualties of war, and families still waiting for their honor are none too pleased....

Bob Probert, Dead At 45
Probert, NHL enforcer extraordinaire, was pronounced dead after collapsing on a boat near his hometown of Windsor, Ontario. Tie Domi and Stu Grimson sleep a little sounder tonight....

Brian Burke Honors Late Son By Marching In Pride Parade
Eight months after his son came out publicly, and five months after his death, Brian Burke marched in yesterday's Toronto Pride Parade. Awesome....

Accused Russian Spy Also Fan Of Neutral Zone Trap
The Feds should have known something was off, since no real Devils fan likes Ilya Kovalchuk. Also, only someone who grew up in the wilds of Siberia could be happy to be in Newark. [Star-Ledger]...

Try, Try Again
The Edmonton Journal hits us with the elusive double-typo headline, leaving us with something that can be interpreted in a number of ways; all of them juvenile, all of them hilarious. [via Puck Daddy]...

Jonathan Toews To Be <em>NHL 2011</em> Cover Boy?
According to this picture, Blackhawks captain Jonathan Toews will be the cover athlete for EA's NHL 2011, a year after his linemate, social drinker Patrick Kane, adorned the cover. [Operation Sports, via Puck Daddy]...

Indoor Plumbing Comes To Pittsburgh
Oh good, the "lets flush all 552 toilets at the Penguins' new arena and hope the place doesn't blow up" test was a success. Apparently, the septic system tanked a few seasons in a row to get the top new equipment. [Post-Gazette]...

Blackhawks Dealt With Pronger About As Maturely As Chicago Paper
The Tribune may have insinuated it, when they poorly photoshopped Chris Pronger's torso onto a skirt. But someone in the Blackhawks locker room went whole hog, writing "Pronger Is Gay" on their whiteboard....

Adam Burish Takes High Road, Offers To Punch Chris Pronger One More Time
Chicago may have ended their ridiculous Stanley Cup drought on Philly's home ice, but apparently that's no reason to be magnanimous. Celebration or no celebration, there's always time to remind people that Chris Pronger is a bit of a jerk....

Dear Roenick: It's OK, Let It Out
Jeremy Roenick is a 40-year-old man. He was one of the NHL's best players during one of the NHL's least enjoyable periods. Last night, he cried on national TV. It's really fine that he did....

Blackhawks Celebrate Cup Win With 8AM Trip To Chicago Bar (MORE UPDATES)
The Hawks arrived back in Chicago today and, like all good hockey heroes, took the Cup to northside bar The Pony Inn around the time you were leaving for work....

Chicago Blackhawks Win The Stanley Cup
It's over. Patrick Kane wins it for the Blackhawks with a "secret" goal in OT. Good for him. (Update: Now with bonus video of Jeremy Roenick's tears.) [NHL.com]...

Now The Stanley Cup Finals Is For Serious
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....