nhl Page 205 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Penguins Return Home For Game Five, Get Back In The Habit
The NHL Closer is written by the five pillars of piety from Melt Your Face Off. When not serving the needy, sick, poor and uneducated, they can be found sneaking sips from the Baptismal Font. Weed Against Speed somehow got his hands on the keys to the Popemobile, so let's take this sucker out for a ...
Sean Avery's Internship At Vogue Begins
When we first heard that Rangers left wing Sean Avery was going to intern for Vogue magazine this summer, once the Rangers were finally eliminated from the playoffs, we assumed it was a joke, or some stunt meant to get Avery a seat next to that weird lady with the crazy glasses at Roger Federer matc...
I Am Jack's NHL Closer
The NHL Closer is written by the five Project Mayhem operatives at Melt Your Face-Off. Should Malkin start aiming his wristers at our eye sockets, and one of us doesn't make it out alive, you will henceforth know him as Robert Paulsen. Today, Hextall454 puts down the soap to give you the Keystone re...
A Tale Thirty-Three Years in the Making?
The NHL Closer is written by five epic heroes from Melt Your Face Off. When not slaying the monsters on goalie masks, they constantly polish their swords. Raskolnikov recounts last night's act of valor....
Philly Got Rolled Up, Smoked By Pittsburgh
The NHL Closer is written by five hockeyfarians from Melt Your Face Off. When not crafting paraphernalia out of a hockey stick, athletic tape and a puck (yeah, man, a puck!), they can be found hanging out, keeping it mellow and doing their thing. So kick back and relax, because Weed Against Speed ha...
Here Come The Red Wings ... Duck!
The NHL Closer is written by the Five Horsemen of the Apuckalypse from Melt Your Face Off. When not poring over the Book of Revelation for clues as to how to finally take out Gary Bettman, they can be found discovering new and inventive ways to commit blasphemy, blog-style. Weed Against Speed takes ...
Challis' Message Continues To Inspire
Those who have been following the story of John Challis in the Pittsburgh-Post Gazette shouldn't be surprised that he's taking the country by storm. The Freedom High School (Pa.) senior, who has terminal cancer, was invited to attend Game 2 of the NHL playoff series between Philadelphia and Pittsbu...
Happy Belated Mother's Day
The NHL Closer is written by five momma's boys at Melt Your Face Off. We know that our mothers are beautiful women, but LeFawn puts them to shame....
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while wishing you had Dumbo's mom......
Chris Osgood's Feel-Good Story Comes To A Butt-End
While Mitch Albom was gushing over what a selfless mensch Chris Osgood is on the Sports Reporters this morning for gracefully stepping aside when the Red Wings signed Dominik Hasek, he conveniently ignored the cheap shot Osgood took with the butt-end of his stick to the Stars' Mike Ribeiro at the en...
The Flyers Are Not Fond Of Game 1s
Sure, the Flyers eventually knuckled under to the Penguins' explosive attack after getting up early, but they're clearly just setting up the Pens like they did to the Caps and the Habs. Philly has lost the opener in each of its three series this postseason. The Pens have even gone as far as to crib ...
Boston Bruins First To Adopt Five-Blade Technology
Want a close, comfortable shave while enjoying your next NHL game? First, apply a liberal amount of transmission fluid. Then make sure that your Zamboni includes the Gillette Fusion Power razor, with advanced blade technology and featuring precision trimmer for those tricky spots, like around the en...
Look Out, Mr. Turco
The NHL Closer is written by the five feathered friends at Melt Your Face-Off. When not flying south for the winter and molting, they recap the night in Hockey. Reasonable Doubt, contrary to popular belief, is not a Red Wing. He has not, nor has he ever been, a member of the communist party. He migh...
Previewing The Flyers-Penguins
The Deadspin NHL Playoff Previews are brought to you the five wealthiest people in the world known as the MYFO Pentaverate. They blog from a secret country mansion known as the Meadows. Beware their wee beady eyes and those smug looks on their faces. Today, Hextall454 breaks down the Eastern Confer...
Rocky Statue: Target Of Penguin Terrorist Plot?
You may remember just a week ago that during the Montreal Canadiens/Flyers playoff series, some amped-up Habs fans decided desecration of the Rocky statue would be a good way to show team spirit and ward off an inevitable early round exit. Didn't work....
Previewing The Red Wings-Stars
The Deadspin NHL Playoff Previews are brought to you by the five foppish gents at Melt Your Face Off. Please don't wear an ascot when a cravat is called for, or they will be right put out. LeNoceur breaks down the Western Conference Finals....
The Dallas Marathon
The NHL Closer is written by five immigrants from Mexico that moonlight on Melt Your Face-Off. When not braving the mighty Rio Grande and ducking the Minutemen, we TAKE UR JOBS!...
Facing Sweeps, Home Cooking Served New York Well. Colorado? Not So Much
The NHL Closer is written by the five aspiring television writers from Melt Your Face Off. When not huffing toner, they can be found desperately trying to get a pilot episode green-lighted for their action adventure series, Puck Force Five - Hockey Bloggers By Day, Crime Fighters/Lady-Killers By Nig...
Serious Internet Hockey Journalism Starts NOW
The NHL Closer is written by the five hardcore streetfighters at Melt Your Face Off. Their favorite pastimes include kicking ass and chewing bubblegum. And they're all out of bubblegum....
A Word To The Wise: Always Be In A Good Position When The Puck Is Dropped
The NHL Closer is written by five amateur sports media analysts over at Melt Your Face Off. When not playing make-believe by pretending that they are participating in a round-table discussion about what is wrong with how sports are now covered while being railroaded by Bob Costas, they mind their bu...