nhl Page 206 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

You Wouldn't Like The Hatch When He's Angry
The NHL Closer is written by the five Staal brothers of Melt Your Face-Off. I know what you're thinking: aren't there only four Staal brothers? Silly Deadspinner. You're forgetting Tito....

Elisha Cuthbert Needs to Get Back Together With Sean Avery — For Everyone's Sake
The NHL Closer is written by the five Masters of Their Universe over at Melt Your Face Off. When not trying to fix the damn trap door in their Castle Grayskull, they can be found debating whether Teela or the Sorceress would have been the easier lay....

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while equipping your phone with a rape whistle......

About Last Night...
What you missed while buying Pierre the penguin a new sports car......

March Of The Penguins
Perhaps next time Jaromir Jagr should Czech his trash talking at the door (PUNTASTIC BURN!!!!) as the not quite Mario Lemieux-level Sidney Crosby and Evgeni Malkin helped to erase a 3-0 Rangers lead to give the Pens a 1-0 series advantage. Jagr had a chance to tie in the waning moments, but clanged ...

Previewing The Stars-Sharks
Deadspin's NHL Conference Semifinal Series Previews are being brought to you by Melt Your Face Off, where hockey is the official religion but all the editors are atheists. MYFO's Weed Against Speed breaks down the Dallas/San Jose series....

Previewing The Rangers-Penguins
Deadspin's NHL Conference Semifinal Previews come courtesy of Melt Your Face-Off. Over at MYFO, Sunday service starts tonight, and holding back when the collection plate comes around earns you a two-minute seat in the penalty pew. In the meantime, Hextall454 brings you the righteous preview of the N...

Mike, It's Mom. Hey, Didn't You Retire?
The NHL Closer is written by the five big kids over at Melt Your Face-Off. Separated, they are a quintet of meandering hockey bloggers. But combined, they make up the most powerful Blogging Voltron the Interwebs has ever seen. That is, if one of them would just give in and agree to be the fat guy wh...

Fire Up the Car-B-Q, Montreal: The Flyers Are On Deck
Deadspin's NHL Conference Semifinal Series Previews are being brought to you by Melt Your Face Off, where hockey is the official religion but all the editors are atheists. MYFO's LeNoceur breaks down the Montreal/Philadelphia series....

Previewing The Red Wings-Avalanche
The NHL playoffs continue tonight with the Conference Semifinals. The five degenerates over at Melt Your Face Off will preview each matchup....

Game Sevens Beyond Thunderdome
The NHL Closer is written by the five degenerates over at Melt Your Face Off, who attempt to reconcile their deviant behavior by invoking Sykes & Matza's Neutralization Theory and participating in the recreational pursuits of latch-hooking and bad MS Paint projects....

Canadiens Fans Advance To Second Round With Quiet Dignity
Sure, beating the Boston Bruins at any point in the NHL playoffs is a monumental achievement; just ask Bill Simmons. But I'm beginning to suspect that Montreal fans are just looking for an excuse to riot. Looting after a first-round playoff win? Really? Look, Canada ... the NBA Playoffs are going on...

No Eternal Return For Bruins
The NHL Closer is written by five pretentious, post-punk musicians from Melt Your Face Off. We reach for our revolver when Kristen Bell isn't pictured....

We Were Told There Would Be Beer And Pretzels
The NHL Closer is written by five complete psychopaths from Melt Your Face-Off. If you prick us, do we not bleed? If the voices in our head speak to us, do we not answer? If you puts boobs on our closers, do we not click through the jump?...

New Jersey Devils Given New York Farewell
It's nice to see the NHL Playoffs' first round is filled with good-natured competitiveness. Certainly this is epitomized by the New York Rangers and New Jersey Devils — neighbors! — playing to a 5-3 Rangers victory, knocking the Devils out of the playoffs. And all Rangers fans can certainly apprecia...

Overtime Is Not Ovie Time
The NHL Closer is written by the five sophisticated gentlemen at Melt Your Face Off. When not sampling caviar and fine bordeaux, they enjoy attending monster truck rallies and frog-gigging....

Murray Season, Fire!
The NHL Closer is written by the five horny gentlemen from Melt Your Face Off. We accept tips in the form of Krispy Kremes, Pappy Van Winkle whiskey and whatever powder comes off Lindsay Lohan's C-notes....

Sean Avery Might Be The NHL's Most Compelling Idiot
Say what you will about the Rangers' Sean Avery, but in an NHL devoid of any discernible personalities, he's definitely becoming the most entertaining to non-puckheads. Courtesy of FanIq comes these two Avery gems, one before and one after his whole bizarre stick waving incident with Martin Brodeur...

The Ducks Aren't Licked Yet
The NHL Closer is written by the five delightful gentlemen from Melt Your Face Off. When not writing for MYFO and commenting on Deadspin, the fellas enjoy spending time listening to songs that are a trip with a funky beat that they can bug out to. Enjoy....

Do Protective Cups Even Help Any More?
In Saturday's 5-4 loss to the Capitals, the Flyers' Patrick Thoresen attempted to block a shot with his body and ended up getting drilled with the puck. But, unlike the thousands of other times this occurs during a hockey season, Thoresen got hit with the puck right in the peach basket, which dente...