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The Capitals Are Finally Champions
This year was different. The Washington Capitals are Stanley Cup champions....

Backstrom To Ovechkin Has Never Been Bigger Or Prettier
It’s 2-1 Washington as I write this, but the goals are coming fast and furious so let’s not spend too much time on this before the score changes. (No shit, Vegas made it 2-2 before I finished writing that sentence.) But the Caps have been scoring some of the prettiest goals of the playoffs—especiall...

Ovechkin And Fleury Say Hello, With Sticks
Alexander Ovechkin’s and Marc-Andre Fleury’s playoff familiarity goes all the way back to 2009. Fleury’s side has won every single one of their series (even if he happened to be on the bench for some of that). That could change tonight, obviously. Even before puck drop, they were sending each other ...

D.C.'s Chinatown Is Sinking Under A Sea Of Red
It has been a long, long while since the last time D.C. had any reason to throw a public sports watch party. With the Caps on a run through the Stanley Cup playoffs, and the weather around town holding up beautifully, Caps watch parties, taking place inside and around the Caps’ Chinatown arena, hav...

This Is Evgeny Kuznetsov's Time
Before Game 4, a reporter spotted in Evgeny Kuznetsov’s locker a bottle of Fuck Off pills. It’s a gag gift—you know the sort of thing—even if I’m not sure exactly what the gag is supposed to be. But, uh, it might’ve worked. Because Kuznetsov went the fuck off, racking up four assists in the Capitals...

The Golden Knights Have Lost Their Mojo
There is no secret to what is happening to the Golden Knights, now down 3-1 in the Stanley Cup final after playing nigh-unbeatable throughout the playoffs. The zamboni has transformed back into a pumpkin, and not just a regular pumpkin, but a gross smelly rotted one. ...

The Capitals Finally Made Vegas Look Like An Expansion Team<em></em>
In the follow-up performance to a Game 3 loss marked by defensive miscommunications and mishaps, the Vegas Golden Knights looked even worse for most of Game 4, falling to the Capitals 6-2 to go down 3-1 in the Stanley Cup Finals. On the whole, Vegas actually did a better job of creating dangerous ch...


Maybe It Actually Is Okay For Caps Fans To Believe?
The Caps were still up by a goal after Braden Holtby’s incredible blunder in the third period of Saturday’s Game 3, but when it happened—the very instant Tomáš Nosek guided Holtby’s blind, panicked, incomprehensibly ill-advised give-away into the empty net—a vision of the next great gut-wrenching Ca...

Report: Senators Executive Arrested For Harassing Shuttle Bus Driver
Ottawa Senators assistant GM Randy Lee was arrested Thursday night in Buffalo for allegedly harassing a bus driver. The Associated Press first reported his arrest....

Braden Holtby Made The Save Of His Life
If you have not yet seen Braden Holtby’s game-saving save with two minutes left in Washington’s 3-2 Game 2 win, well, first see Alex Ovechkin’s reaction on the bench:...

The Capitals Refused To Blink In Game 2
The Golden Knights have trained people to believe that they’re always going to bounce back. All though this postseason, Vegas has shrugged off potentially game-changing goals from their opponents, like Tom Wilson’s tiebreaker in the third period of Game 1, and quickly reasserted control. But in a 3-...

Don Cherry Made Gary Bettman Extremely Awkward By Bringing Up A Quebec Expansion Team
NHL commissioner Gary Bettman was watching CBC analyst Don Cherry’s “Coach’s Corner” segment off-screen during the first intermission of the Stanley Cup Finals game tonight, but once Cherry brought up his desires for a Quebec expansion team, he and his partner Ron MacLean got Bettman on camera. It w...

Tom Wilson Is At It Again
I’m so annoyed that after the pure mainline rush that was Game 1, I have to think about Tom Wilson’s dirty-ass play. Imagine how Jonathan Marchessault feels:...

Embrace The Spectacle Of Stupid Fun Hockey
They have been telling us for decades—a necessarily nebulous “they,” but one that includes the NHL itself, needing to sell the present brand of hockey shaped by rule changes and coaching revolutions and swollen goalie gear, and certain fans, trying to convince themselves that we’re watching the peak...

The Knights' Game 1 Win Was Batshit Crazy Vegas Style<em></em><em></em>
In the world capital of entertainment, Game 1 of the Stanley Cup Finals in Vegas went far beyond the value of any other ticket you could buy in town. With a 6-4 win over the Capitals, the Vegas Golden Knights weathered the lows, provided some ecstatic highs, and pulled out a dramatic victory on home...

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It's Here: Your Stanley Cup Final Game 1 Simulation In <i>NHL '94</i>
Time to fire up the Sega Genesis, because we’ve got our updated rosters in NHL ‘94 to simulate tonight’s Game 1 between the Capitals and Golden Knights, LIVE:...

Donald Trump Definitely Needs Glasses
It wasn’t supposed to be this way. The plan was just to keep on honking away like big idiots about the NBA playoffs for as long as we possibly could, and Drew and I were certainly ready to hold up our end of that bargain. But the stupendous lameness of the NBA playoffs at this moment and the simulta...

Nothing Matters But Now
It’s a funny thing. Year after year you’re told “this is your year,” and it never is, and then, finally, when no one thinks you matter anymore ... it might be your year....