nice Page 3 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
A Caucasian's Guide To Spades
Whether it is played in the back of a college cafeteria, at a bachelor party, or during a Black cookout—not a barbecue, because barbecues are different from “cookouts”—no activity solidifies the bonds of melanated people like a game of Spades. The internet will claim that Spades is a member of the “...
Giants Fan Goes Swimming For 69th Splash Hit
The San Francisco Giants play in a lovely bayside ballpark, with McCovey Cove and the Pacific Ocean (sort of) just feet past the right field wall. This nautical branch of the ballpark is famous for its flocks of boats, as well as the Splash Hit. There’s a big counter on the outfield wall of how many...
Sorry Nice Guy, Your Sad-Sack Routine Doesn’t Mean You Deserve Hot Babes
Of course you don’t watch The Bachelorette. Of course. Not at all. But if you did, and if you happened to catch last night’s episode, you would have met singer/songwriter/that-name-haver James Taylor. (Actually you would have already met him and probably forgotten because of all that is Chad.)...
Hatem Ben Arfa Won't Be At The Euros, But Let's Watch Him Flay Defenders Anyway
Overshadowed in the international selection controversy sparked by Eric Cantona’s comments and Karim Benzema’s fanning of the flames was Cantona’s lamentation that Hatem Ben Arfa wasn’t called up for the France team for the Euros. As understandable as the Ben Arfa snub is, it’s still sad. Because Be...
Hanser Alberto Has A Great Time With His Bubble Gum
No, this is not a picture of a man being attacked by a jellyfish. It’s just Rangers utility player Hanser Alberto having a good-ass time at the ballpark....
Dale Earnhardt Jr. Makes a Good Brain Pun
Dale Earnhardt Jr. is donating his brain to science, in a generous move, and says it’s a literal “no-brainer” decision. Nice....
Some French Teen Scored One Of The Goals Of The Season
Pulling off this bicycle kick, as Nice youngster Paulin Puel did this weekend against Monaco in a U19 game, would be impressive enough. But what really puts this one over the top is that backheel flick that sets him up. Put together, and you have a legit stunner....
How To React To A Bad Person's Death
People die every day; famous people die over the course of many days. Those left behind watch as the internet floods with earnest RIPs and dewy-eyed takes and angry ripostes toward anyone with the gall to joke or critique At a Time Like This. In some instances, some otherwise empathetic people cut s...
The Best Places To Urinate Outside, Ranked
Before we get deep into the bowels of the Funbag, one quick note: I’m out next week on Spring Break with my kids. This will not be like your Spring Break. Your Spring Break will be in Lake Havasu surrounded by fruity drinks and horny twentysomethings. I, on the other hand, will be stuck in Virginia ...
The Caucasian's Guide To Talking About Race
A few months ago, I was honored to be invited to the October Secret Global White People Meeting to speak to their constituents about wearing blackface on Halloween. Apparently, I made such an impact that they recently requested a return engagement to address a less holiday-oriented topic. The follow...
How To Party Without Drinking
About two years ago, I quit drinking. Initially, I didn’t attempt to “mask” my teetotalism at social gatherings: I’d meet a group at a bar, never order anything, and give long-winded answers to anyone who asked why. As my friends and coworkers can attest, it can be awkward as hell being stone-cold s...
Hatem Ben Arfa Is Still Straight-Up Clowning Opponents
This flash of brilliance from Hatem Ben Arfa is only his most recent in a run of incredible plays of late. That he didn’t score here doesn’t matter much, and Nice won the match anyway (on two Ben Arfa penalties), so let’s appreciate this for what it is....
Hatem Ben Arfa Is Straight Fooling On Dudes In France
This dribble is somehow even more ridiculous than the last time Hatem Ben Arfa popped onto our radar for doing something insane (in the good way, for once). If that little heel flick he did to get by the keeper wouldn’t have gotten cleared off the line, this would be an all-timer....
The Caucasian’s Guide To Black Holiday Gatherings
With the rise in interracial dating and cross-cultural friendships, you may be one of the lucky few white people who get invited to a black family dinner during the holidays. And while our previous guides to black barbecues and black churches laid a template, the dynamic of our family holiday gather...
The Caucasian's Guide To Black Churches
Eleven a.m. Sunday morning was once called “the most segregated hour in America,” but as the nation becomes more diverse, so do its institutions of worship. Steeped in traditions passed down since slavery, churches are one of the cornerstones of the African-American community, and navigating the sub...
This Ridiculous Solo Wondergoal Is The Apex Of Hatem Ben Arfa's Career
You almost feel like Hatem Ben Arfa’s entire time on a soccer pitch was destined to culminate in this moment. For years Ben Arfa’s career has flickered with brief moments of genius, intermittently successful attempts at squeezing through the tightest of openings and twirling past the thickest swarms...
The Caucasian's Guide To Black Barbecues
As interracial dating, integration, and cross-cultural friendships increase, many people find themselves attending events in which they are the minority, and have no frame of reference from which to base their etiquette. In an effort to help bridge the cultural gaps we all have to traverse at some p...
How To Go On A Fancy-Ass Cruise Without Going Broke
We all have that friend who just loves to tell about how they love traveling. He’s the same friend that doesn’t realize that not everyone has a seven-figure trust fund and can afford to celebrate destination half-birthdays. Some people, like you and I, work for our money. Here’s a few tips on how to...