nightmare-fuel Page 5 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Horrible Revenge Of Dr. Gopher
Well, this is pretty much every nightmare I had from ages 15 to 23 ... make of that what you will. But further one might ask, how does a giant, costumed rodent chasing students on a college campus with a syringe not make it on Nightline, or at least the local evening news? It's when the assailant is...

You Do Not Want To Be In Jan Huokko's Fave Five
Yesterday we told you about The Night of a Thousand Dildos, in which Swedish hockey fans showered the ice with plastic sex devices at a second-tier, Pro Hockey League match between Leksand and AIK in Stockholm. The fusillade was unleashed in honor of former AIK and current Leksand player Jan Huokko,...

The Plymouth Whalers Plan To Frighten Breast Cancer Into Submission
When it comes to Breast Cancer Awareness Week, the Plymouth Whalers have set the bar impossibly high. Where can you go after this move, in which every member of the Ontario Hockey League team on Tuesday dyed their hair pink? There's just nothing left to dye after this (don't go there, bro). Here we ...

Meet The Man Who Felled Kimbo
And now, a personal pictorial review of the guy who knocked out Kimbo Slice. A self described "goofy homo" whose dream is to open a chain of Smoothie Kings. ...

Lineman Chooses Amputation Over Surgery
When told he would need season ending surgery on his pinkie, Mesa State College offensive lineman Trevor Wikre made the most logical decision. He told them to cut off the finger. ...

He's Just Your Average Octogenarian Bodybuilder Who Will Not Die
Hmm. Yes, I guess this could technically be categorized as "Nightmare Fuel" but at the same time, there is something comforting in the fact that 80-year-old bodybuilders like Ray Moon do exist. Actually, not all. These men should only exist in the darkest corners of a mescaline-ravaged mind or a Gui...

Charlie Weis Tears Two Ligaments in Knee While Simply Standing Around
Charlie Weis got Theismen'd yesterday during the Notre Dame v. Michigan game. Did the fact that he was standing on the sidelines and not actually on the field make the rotund coach feel any more embarrassed? Heck no! After the game, Weis found out he tore two ligaments in his knee and he seemed rath...

Cal's Jahvid Best Loses His Lunch
The early games have been rather boring this afternoon but California's Jahvid Best is having considerably less fun than you are today. As Jamie Mottram put it, "Maryland is beating the puke out of Cal." Literally....

For Your Viewing Pleasure: Let the River Run, Indeed
• 12:00 — College Football: Navy vs. Duke [ESPNU] - Get to know the young men that you will silently curse when they blow by you for promotions in six years. • 2:30 — Movie: Working Girl [A&E] - Joan Cusack only lost this Oscar because she had to compete in the Best Supporting Actress category with ...

Gigantic AT&T Logo Of Doom Rings In Olympic Games
Look, coming out of the floor ... it's the Death Star! Aiieee! It all began in Nov., 2005, when China rolled out its nightmare-inducing Olympic mascots, which may or may not include a two-footed goat. And now it culminates in an orgasm of pomp, color and spectacle — like Walt Disney throwing up, as ...

There May Be An A-Rod/Madonna Sex Tape. Is There No End To Our Suffering?
A New York man is claiming that he has a Madonna-Alex Rodriguez sex tape, and wants a million pounds for it. Of course, fundraisers are being organized furiously at this moment to pay the guy to burn all copies. Even Queen Elizabeth is chipping in with a few random palace jewels. Give till it hurts,...

Petey P. Cup Has A New Sidekick! (Yikes)
I imagine that in Barry Bonds' fevered dreams — when he sleeps at all — this is pretty much all he sees. We've told you about Petey P. Cup, the urine sample mascot for HealthPartners.com. But now meet his new sidekick, Pokey Syringe. Together they fight crime crusade for gay rights terrorize prostit...

Gurn Save The Queen
Here in America, you win a major sports championship, and you meet the president. Across the pond, when you stick your head through a horse collar and make a face better than anyone else, you meet the Queen. That line was actually in the original Magna Carta....

Worst. Spider-Man Sequel. Ever.
I've always thought that this was an urban myth, but no, apparently it really exists. A couple of observations about this old Electric Company TV classic episode of Spidey Super Stories: 1. Why is Spider-Man relegated to the Shea Stadium bleachers? He doesn't at least rate a box seat like Seinfeld? ...

It's Possible Some Bay-To-Breakers Participants May Be Gay
The main reason I no longer attend the San Francisco Bay to Breakers Race; someone has turned the freak dial way too high. Although, I should point out that the group pictured here actually ended up winning the race, beating a Kenyan runner by 22 seconds (may not be true). And while this photo may b...

Anti-Meth Ads, Sports Style
So you know those terrifying Montana anti-meth ads that were recently taken off the air?. Well, in an inspired bit of dark whimsy, The Great Barstoolio had put together a sports compendium of the ads....

Hurry, Before Alex Rodriguez Steals This Job
On Friday, Gawker received an email from the editor of femalemuscle.com, who is on the look out for a full-time blogger to take make "femalemuscle.com into the Gawker of her genre." Well, knowing that there are a few of you out there who are sports blog hobbyists looking to go pro, it only seemed na...

We Won't Even Talk About The Pirate Ship On His Ass
All we really know about Mr. John Herold here is that he was arrested for trespassing on Feb. 1, 2008, somewhere in Florida. Now, seeing that the Tampa Bay Buccaneers' season ended on Jan. 6, we have to assume that those are permanent tattoos, right? Must have seemed like a good idea at the time. Su...

Under The Brazilian Rainbow
Via Sports By Brooks comes this seemingly tall tale about these terrifying little fellers , who are supposedly part of Brazil's all dwarf soccer team, the "Gigantes do Norte."Even though this squad is not even close to being gigante in physical size, they are so in spirit, apparently....

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while vomiting profusely ... • 7:00 p.m. — NCAA Basketball: Tennessee at Georgia. The perfect matchup to settle their border dispute. [ESPN2] • 8:00 p.m. — NBA: Nuggets at Rockets. How many teams do you know of that have won 14 straight games and nobody thinks they'll do anything in th...