First off, let’s get something out of the way: I did not purchase $1.3 million dollars’ worth of Nike Air VaporMaxes (White/Varsity Purple/Metallic Silver/Aqua, size 9.5) with the intent of shipping them to the Glendale city dump.
“Calling a dream crazy is not an insult,” Colin Kaepernick says during a two-minute ad that Nike rolled out last Wednesday. “It’s a compliment.” It’s one of many perfectly circular blobules of aspiration that Kaepernick delivers in stop-and-go voiceover throughout the ad, and in that context and the broader context of…
Sneaker culture is an impenetrable and occasionally confusing fortress of young men and strong opinions; to the untrained eye, a sneaker is a sneaker is a sneaker. Today, though, I think it’s safe to say that these new LeBrons—designed by women, for women—are objectively hideous.
Hey, remember when the oven-baked ham in chief called NFL players who protest institutional racism and police brutality during pregame national anthem ceremonies sons of bitches, and said they should be fired? Remember how he’s humped that issue relentlessly, using it to lather up the worst dregs of his, uhh,…
Colin Kaepernick is the new face of a Nike ad campaign. As you might imagine, this has really angered the type of people who have said, “I’m a Christian first, and a conservative second” out loud at the dinner table. And if there’s one thing you can expect from these people, it’s that they will go about expressing…
Roger Federer won his first-round match Monday at Wimbledon in straight sets, but as the tennis media would tell it, the most meaningful thing he did was pick out his wardrobe before the match. Try as I’d like to resist the perverse Rovellian fascination here ... I can’t. It’s weird. It feels weird. The extremely…
Just over a week before Iran plays their first World Cup match against Morocco, Nike has announced that they will no longer provide the Iranian national team’s cleats because of recently reimposed economic sanctions against the country. Nike has provided cleats for several Iranian players for years, including at the…
The Wall Street Journal’s Sara Germano reported last night that Nike president Trevor Edwards had resigned after the company received complaints about “inappropriate workplace behavior.” What behavior? The Journal’s report does not specify what the complaints contained or who they were about, only that the No. 2…
PORTLAND, Ore.—Here is a story from Swoosh: The Unauthorized Story of Nike, J.B. Strasser and Laurie Becklund’s 1993 book about about the company’s early days. In 1975, Nelson Farris, Nike’s first employee—he still works there, “Chief Storyteller” or some such thing—went to a women’s track meet to sell some shoes. He…
This is the first of Nike’s eight-year, $1 billion apparel deal with the NBA. Which massive corporation is responsible for making the league’s jerseys is usually of very little concern to anyone, but Nike has caught everyone’s attention in a bad way by making jerseys that won’t stop ripping.
According to reports from sports lawyer Darren Heitner and ESPN, the federal prosecutors looking into college basketball corruption have now turned their focus to Nike. The FBI’s New York field office and the U.S. Attorney’s office for the Southern District of New York reportedly served a subpoena to Nike’s Elite…
Dathan Ritzenhein has been one of the United States’ best distance runners for over a decade. He participated in the Athens, Beijing, and London Olympics, and once held the American 5k record. Ritzenhein was sponsored by Nike for his entire career until March, and lived in Oregon to train under Alberto Salazar with…
Nike’s Breaking2 campaign was unsuccessful.
LaVar Ball—the supremely annoying father of upcoming lottery pick Lonzo Ball, and two younger basketball teens—is in the headlines yet again. Darren Rovell reports that Nike, Adidas, and Under Armour—the three companies that combined control 99 percent of the basketball shoe market—have all declined to sign a shoe…
Roger Federer rolled right through Juan Martin del Potro in the third round of the Miami Open, 6-4, 6-3. It was what you’d expect: forehand winners aplenty on both sides; Fed giving the big guy no absolutely no time to ease his way into the point; Delpo proving that he still can hit the crap out of his backhand when…
Thursday Night Football is the NFL at its worst. Between the half-rested players and the blindingly ugly uniforms, it’s no wonder that Richard Sherman characterized it as a “poopfest.” Two years ago, the NFL made teams play in monochromatic Nike “Color Rush” jerseys for the express purpose of selling more shit, even…
Whatever Nike is paying Kenyan star Eliud Kipchoge to crack the two-hour barrier in the marathon, it isn’t enough.
Wanna do workouts? Buy some shoes that fit. Or, drop a lot of money on these new Nikes because you are a real god damn sucker.
