nit Page 176 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Let's Catch Up On The State Of The Marvel Cinematic Universe In Time For <i>Avengers: Endgame</i>
Hello friends! As you’re well aware by now, Avengers: Endgame opens in theaters this weekend, finally bringing to a—uh, well, not a close or a conclusion, but uh like some kind of large-scale branding transition for Disney and its Marvel Studios subsidiary, where they will arbitrarily plant a flag a...
Manchester United Need A Complete Face Lift To Rise Again
At various points this season, Manchester United have been dying, dead, buried, on the way back, back again, and lost in the wilderness. It’s fitting, then, that on Easter Sunday, United finally reached its lowest point of the season: a 4-0 loss to Everton, United’s worst defeat to the Toffees in cl...
Philippe Coutinho And Barcelona Might Yet Have A Happy Ending Together
When Barcelona purchased Philippe Coutinho from Liverpool back in the winter of 2018 for an eye-popping €160 million fee, Blaugrana fans thought they had found their next Andrés Iniesta. It made sense: Coutinho can dribble, create, and score all at elite levels, and though the Brazilian needed to wo...
Oh No, David de Gea, What Are You Doing?
Manchester United came into the Camp Nou on Tuesday knowing that two goals would likely get them to the semi-finals of the Champions League. Not an easy task at all, but a doable one. But then United gagged up two awful first-half goals, one from an inexplicable David de Gea boner, and that looks to...
Leeds Fan Breaks Ankle While Celebrating A Goal, Waits Until After The Game To Go To Hospital
With a tight 1-0 home win over Sheffield Wednesday this weekend, Leeds United took a big step toward sealing promotion to the Premier League next season. In the explosion of joy following Jack Harrison’s 65th minute goal, one Leeds fan exploded his ankle during his raucous celebration, which require...
A Lively Discussion About Futuristic Bathroom Technology
It is a sad fact of life: there are just more questions in the Funbag than there is time to answer them in the average Deadcast. All your horrible thoughts, your deeply considered curiosities about peeing and pooping, and NFL football, and peeing and pooping vis-a-vis Donald Trump—lost, like tears i...
Gerard Piqué Is Barcelona's Other Superman
It must be strange, being a defender of historic greatness for a solid decade, starring for arguably the greatest club and national teams of all time, and still winding up somehow underrated. And yet, that is the fate of Barcelona and Spain center back Gerard Piqué—though if he continues to put toge...
They Killed Yet Another Horse At Santa Anita
Two days after the Santa Anita racetrack reopened following a shutdown to allow track operators to investigate why so many horses were getting injured and euthanized, another horse got injured and was euthanized. Arms Runner, a 5-year-old horse, fell on the dirt and broke his right leg yesterday dur...
Now Ole Gunnar Solskjær Has A Chance To Prove He's The Real Deal
I’d bet there isn’t a person with decision-making power at Manchester United who saw this coming, other than maybe Ole Gunnar Solskjær himself. But here we are, with United rewarding Solskjær for his complete turnaround of what looked like a lost season by officially making him the club’s permanent ...
Carlos Santana Smashed A TV With A Bat Because The Phillies Were Playing <i>Fortnite </i>During Games
Over at ESPN, Jeff Passan has a breakdown of the clubhouse issues the Philadelphia Phillies faced in the first season of Gabe Kapler’s management last year, and it turns out they might be more relatable than you thought—when their jobs got pointless and shitty, the Phillies slacked off and played vi...
Despite Track Shutdown, Horses Keep Dying At Santa Anita
On March 5, the Santa Anita race track in Arcadia, Calif., announced that it was shutting down the track and indefinitely canceling races after it was revealed that 21 horses had died at the track over a two-month period. Santa Anita officials weren’t sure why so many horses were dying so quickly at...
Wizards Descend On Minor-League Hockey Game To Cause Impossible Goal
The Manitoba Moose beat the Texas Stars 4-3 in AHL play on Wednesday night, but the Moose’s continued dominance on home ice is not the story here. The big news came midway through the second period, when the apparent existence of magic in our material world was revealed to us through a shot by Stars...
The Premier League Top-Four Race Is Now Hotter Than Hell
If the past couple years have been the Premier League’s Golden Age, thanks to the league’s development of top-to-bottom quality and a powerful Big Six, making it the one domestic league all soccer fans practically must follow, then this season might just be this Golden Age’s Golden Year. All season ...
Mr. I Love This Game Patrice Evra Has Apparently Pissed Off The Weenies At PSG
It seemed that PSG had taken its final L for the season in its embarrassing collapse against Manchester United, but someone at the French club decided to add one last self-own to the tally....
VAR Is Making A Mess Of The Champions League
However we got here, we’re certainly here now. When the Champions League announced that it would introduce VAR—Video Assistant Referee, essentially soccer’s answer to the instant replay challenge—midway through this current campaign, the system brought years of baggage with it. Its deployment at las...
Manchester United Boot Fraudulent Clowns PSG From The Champions League
Paris Saint-Germain, the most inept great team in Champions League play over the past handful of years, saw their dreams dashed in the competition once again as Manchester United orchestrated a shock comeback by winning today’s round of 16 second leg by a score of 3-1....
<i>Last Chance U </i>Coach Who Told German Player "I'm Your New Hitler" Resigns, Blames Newspaper For Reporting It
Independence Community College head football coach Jason Brown, who was featured on the Netflix show Last Chance U, said early this morning that he would be resigning from his position after he texted “I’m your new Hitler” to German player Alexandros Alexiou. Oh, was that too much?...
A <i>Fortnite </i>Epidemic Would Only Help The Knicks' Cause At This Point<em></em>
The Knicks, currently a half-game “behind” the Suns for the worst record in the NBA, also sport one of the league’s youngest squads. Eight players on the 15-man roster have yet to turn 24. Rotation staples like Kevin Knox, Mitchell Robinson, and Mario Hezonja are 19, 20, and 23 respectively. It com...
Chelsea Are Getting A Ride On The Paul Pogba Experience
Manchester United haven’t had much of the ball through the first half of today’s FA Cup match against Chelsea, and when they have gotten possession they haven’t managed to produce very many crisp passages of play. They lead 2-0 at half time, though, because they have Paul Pogba....
Prosecuting War Criminals Would Be A Lot Easier If Not For The United States' Resistance
This piece is part of a recurring series that aims to be a complete guide to the laws of war. You can read previous entries here....