nit Page 177 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Crystal Palace's Patrick van Aanholt Scores Late Winner To Bring Down Toothless Manchester United
It appears that no matter how hard they try, Manchester United are unable to shake the fact that mediocrity is now a staple characteristic of the once-dominant (if that even means anything anymore) club. Case in point is the fact that the focus of this summer’s transfer window was to bolster the def...
By Banning Protest Signs, MLS Is Trying To Lobotomize The Fandom It Asked For
MLS and its clubs are currently embroiled in a fight against their own supporters over what the league claims are violations of its anti-politics rules. Over the last two weeks, multiple fans in multiple stadiums have been ejected for banners that run afoul of the league’s Fan Code of Conduct. There...
Banger King Rúben Neves Scores The First Great Goal Of The Premier League Season
One of the best ongoing statistical oddities in English soccer is that Wolverhampton Wanderers youngster Rúben Neves has never scored for the club from inside the penalty box in open play. Heading into Monday’s game against Manchester United, the 22-year-old Portuguese midfielder had 12 goals for Wo...
Old Man Wayne Rooney Is Sick Of These Damn Refs And All This Damn Traveling
Old Man Wayne Rooney’s MLS stint is just about done. At the conclusion of this season he’ll leave DC United to become a player-manager for Derby County back in England. Perhaps this is a good time for him to make an exit from American soccer, because he seems pretty fed up with the whole enterprise ...
Bury Are The Latest English Club To Flirt With Financial Disaster
The last thing any English soccer club wants right now is to be mentioned in the same breath as Bolton Wanderers, but Manchester-area League One side Bury are on a similar road to ruin. On August 8, the third-division club was given a two-week deadline to get its finances in order or risk getting k...
Josef Martínez Adds Two More MLS Scoring Records To His Growing Collection
Atlanta United forward Josef Martínez can’t stop breaking records. Last season, the 26-year-old Venezuelan shattered the MLS single-season scoring record with 31 goals, four more than the previous record of 27. On Sunday, he added two more records to his collection with this towering header against ...
Report: Manchester United Manager Reamed Out Romelu Lukaku For Exposing That Luke Shaw Is Slow
Romelu Lukaku has officially moved from Manchester United to Inter, which means it’s time for those deliciously juicy stories about how the relationship soured to start popping up. The Times has one particularly funny nugget, about how manager Ole Gunnar Solskjær subjected the Belgian to a “‘brutal’...
Let's Remember Some Guys Go West: Just Some Weird Old Cards With Jewish Guys On Them
Dr. Seymour Stoll was generous. He did not need to share his historically significant collection of Jewish baseball cards with us, let alone do so in his home, although it was always quite clear that he was quite happy to do so. He did not need to let Jorge and me carry his couch clear across the li...
The Premier League Transfer Deadline Day Is Going To Be Nuts
The Premier League transfer window officially closes in less than 24 hours, and the usual whirlwind of transfer rumors has turned into a tree-uprooting, house-demolishing super tornado. New, credible reports of big-name players going into and out of the Premier League are flying around and changing ...
Old Man Wayne Rooney Will Leave MLS To Be A Player-Coach At Derby County
It looks like Wayne Rooney’s vacation in the United States will only last 18 months. Derby County manager Phillip Cocu confirmed, per the Guardian, on Tuesday that the 33-year-old Englishman will be moving back across the Atlantic in January to join Derby as a player-coach....
Harry Maguire Is The Best Manchester United Can Do
The fee itself, as gargantuan as it is, isn’t really an issue. Manchester United are one of the few clubs in the sport for which money truly is no object, and so their decision to break the defender transfer record is no cause for alarm. If there is an issue with the Red Devils paying Leicester City...
Alejandro Bedoya Scores Goal, Calls For Congress To "End Gun Violence"
During the goal celebration after he scored in today’s D.C. United-Philadelphia Union match, Union midfielder Alejandro Bedoya picked up a pitch-side microphone and said into it,“Hey Congress, do something, now! End gun violence!”:...
Zenit Supporters Unfurl Racist Banner To Protest The Signing Of A Black Player
During a match between Zenit St. Petersburg and FC Krasnodar, Zenit supporters revealed a banner with a message to those at the head of their club that read (roughly translated): “Thank you leadership for loyalty to traditions.” The sarcastic statement was made in response to the club signing ex-Bar...
Manchester City Defeat Liverpool On Penalties To Win Community Shield
Manchester City have won back-to-back FA Community Shield trophies for the first time in club history after defeating Liverpool 5-4 on penalties. Brazilian youngster Gabriel Jesus was the hero for Manchester City, scoring the winning penalty after Claudio Bravo came up big to save Giorgino Wijnadlum...
Here's The UK's Next Prime Minister Boris Johnson Doing Sports
Boris Johnson, a disheveled, dishonest, discombobulated clod, will be the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom. He will do a bad job. He might be more capable as a sportsman, though that isn’t much consolation or compliment....
Josef Martínez's Hideous Penalty Kick Run-Up Ends In Humiliation
The reward for Josef Martínez’s frankly insane penalty kick routine is an unreadable technique that makes it easy to best keepers from the spot, as evidenced by the Atlanta United forward’s 14-for-16 penalty record in MLS. The risk is that it makes him look like a huge weirdo and sets him up for rid...
Europa League Qualifying, Of All Places, Has Given Us The Goal Of The Summer
While most of the soccer happening right now is friendlies, MLS, and the African Cup of Nations (the final of which takes place later today), the beginning of the long marathon towards the Europa League group stages is in full swing. And already, Hamed Koné, an Ivorian striker who just joined Maltes...
Josef Martínez Dribbled Two Houston Dynamo Players Into An Early Grave
Josef Martínez is Atlanta United’s do-everything striker, was the best player in MLS last year, and has been the hottest player in the league over the last two months. The 26-year-old Venezuelan has scored 11 goals in his last seven games, including two against the Houston Dynamo on Wednesday night ...
Minnesota United FC Scored A Game-Winning Goal And Saved A Penalty All In Stoppage Time
For the first 90 minutes of Minnesota United FC’s game against FC Dallas, pretty much nothing happened and the score was tied 0-0. But, as those in attendance at Allianz Field soon found out, that unremarkable hour and a half was anything but a precursor of things to come. ...
Manchester United Travel Halfway Around The World And Still Can't Escape Liverpool Fans' Trolling
If you had to point at a single day that represents the absolute nadir of being a 21st-Century Manchester United fan, you could make a strong case that today, July 11, 2019, is that day. The team itself is a joke. Their best player desperately wants out. Both the Red Devils’ biggest rivals are in pe...