nit Page 178 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
It Must Suck So Hard To Be A Manchester United Fan
Try, if only for a moment, to go inside the mind of a Manchester United fan....
World-Famous Atlanta Strip Club Welcomes In A Little-Known Soccer Trophy For Some Booty Dancing
Millions of young boys around the world dream of one day making it inside Magic City, Atlanta’s internationally renowned strip club. Very few of those dreamers imagine it will be success in America’s bootleg soccer competition that will bring them there, but, for dreams, ends matter more than means....
Atlanta United's MLS Cup Victory Ends Michael Parkhurst's Agonizing Championship Drought
The city of Atlanta has a championship for the first time since 1995 thanks to the efforts of second-year MLS franchise Atlanta United. In front of an MLS Cup-record crowd of 73,019, United defeated the Portland Timbers 2-0 to bring their immaculate sophomore season to a close. ...
Shithead Soccer Fan Appears To Peg MLS Player In The Face With Trash
In the 22nd minute of the second leg of the MLS Eastern Conference Championship, underway Thursday night in New Jersey, a Red Bulls fan in the front row appeared to peg an item—possibly trash or a cup—into the face of Atlanta United midfielder Miguel Almirón:...
![Jeff Brohm's High School Receives Bomb Threat Over His Decision To Reject Louisville And Stay At Purdue [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/md3mcjyofeczrtxv4gwi.jpg)
Jeff Brohm's High School Receives Bomb Threat Over His Decision To Reject Louisville And Stay At Purdue [Update]
Jeff Brohm grew up in Louisville, played four years of football at Louisville in the early 1990s, and returned there after the end of his professional playing career to spend six seasons as an assistant coach under Bobby Petrino and Steve Kragthorpe. His ties to the state and his history at the scho...
Manchester United Score Late Winner, José Mourinho Freaks The Fuck Out
José Mourinho fancies himself something of a rock star, so it was fitting when he reacted to Marouane Fellaini rescuing Manchester United with a late winner by treating a couple water bottle carriers like a guitar and kick drum at the end of a metal show....
The Shifting Equations That Decide Who Lives And Dies In War
This piece is part of a recurring series that aims to be a complete guide to the laws of war. You can read previous entries here....
<i>Fortnite</i> Players Immediately Find Worst Possible Uses For New NFL Skins
In an attempt to burnish their brand in the eyes of the nation’s population of shrieking nine-year-olds who steal their mothers’ credit cards to cosplay John Wick in a bad video game, the NFL has partnered with Fortnite and released a bunch of official skins and other crap. Predictably, players imme...
José Mourinho Caps Quintessential Win With Quintessential Assholery
Juventus had little trouble bossing Manchester United in the Champions League today. The Italian team was in control for the vast majority of the match and, if not for some shaky finishing, probably would’ve won with ease. But even during this struggle of a season, United manager José Mourinho prove...
Remember When Donald Trump Asked If Pittsburgh Was Going To Bring Back Joe Paterno, Who Was Dead?
When Donald Trump is dropping remarkable word-turds every single day, some of them will inevitably be lost with the passage of time. In the last two weeks alone the Big Wet President has renamed a simpering fatberg “Beautiful Ted,” and he’s asked every man in an audience of 6,000 to raise his hand ...
Some Sicko Made These Senior Tour Golfers Try To Do <i>Fortnite</i> Dances
Pop culture gets absorbed by sports fairly quickly, but it has to travel light years farther to reach golf. That’s why some cruel person at the PGA is now making these senior tour pros try to recreate dances from Fortnite, the popular online video game that is also the reason you see all those kids ...
DC United's Nick DeLeon Scores Clutch Game-Tying Goal, Then Chokes Away Decisive Penalty Kick
Well this was all very dramatic. DC United were down 2–1 in the 116th minute of Thursday night’s knockout round match against Columbus Crew, until Nick DeLeon ripped home a clutch equalizer from the edge of the box off a blown clearance....
Life Must Go On During A Military Occupation
This piece is part of a recurring series that aims to be a complete guide to the laws of war. You can read previous entries here....
Keepers Wield More Than Just Guesswork In The Battle Against Penalty Kicks
Penalty kicks are bad. They’re dramatic and can be a fascinating experience out of context, but we don’t get to experience them out of context. We have to deal with penalties as a clumsy method of deterring fouls in the box and as a makeshift solution to tied games dragging on forever. The fact that...
A Taxonomy Of Calls For Unity In The Hardcore Scene
On Leap Day several years ago, Bold, the hardcore band, played the East Village coke den Lit Lounge’s packed basement in front of a hundred or two hundred people. The band, well into their middle age, hadn’t released a record since 1989, and are best known for punk songs they wrote as teenagers. Sin...
Cristiano Ronaldo Faces, Mostly Dodges Questions About The Rape Allegation Against Him
Today, Cristiano Ronaldo had his first public press conference since Las Vegas police earlier this month reopened a 2009 investigation of a rape allegation against him. The Juventus star was asked directly about the accusation, but he responded by primarily talking about how great his life is....
Everyone, Including The FA, Is Overreacting To The José Mourinho-Marco Ianni Thing
Just after Chelsea’s Ross Barkley scored the equalizer in the 96th minute of their match against Manchester United on Saturday, Chelsea assistant coach Marco Ianni ran onto the field in front of United manager José Mourinho, heaved an almighty fist pump, and then jogged back to his bench. As Ianni h...
Old Man Wayne Rooney Has Officially Dragged D.C. United Into The Playoffs
Three months after sitting at the bottom of the MLS’s Eastern Conference playoff race, D.C. United have secured a playoff spot, thanks to the efforts of Old Man Wayne Rooney. He scored two goals in today’s 3-1 victory against NYCFC to make the postseason berth official....
José Mourinho No Longer Tolerates Over-Celebrating, Apparently
After a second Anthony Martial goal put Manchester United up 2-1 against Chelsea in the 73rd minute, it looked like José Mourinho had inspired his side, yet again, to put in a second-half comeback performance to seal a win. Three point would have given Mourinho his first victory at Stamford Bridge s...
Sue Paterno Endorses Candidate Who Got Penn State Its Wins Back
Before someone tries convincing you that America’s relationship with college football is healthy, normal, and totally fine, remember this campaign video. Pennsylvania State Sen. Jake Corman is up for re-election this year; the Republican has been in the Commonwealth’s Senate since 1999, when he ran ...