nit Page 181 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
![Old Man Wayne Rooney Was Arrested At Dulles Airport For Something Called "Public Intoxication/Swearing" [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/peebc4tykpmxbjgw7sbe.jpg)
Old Man Wayne Rooney Was Arrested At Dulles Airport For Something Called "Public Intoxication/Swearing" [Update]
D.C. United captain and former Premier League champion Wayne Rooney was arrested in Dulles International Airport by Metropolitan Washington Airports Authority Police in December on charges of “public intoxication/swearing.” His case was taken to Loudoun General District Court, the county where the a...
Fuck Digital Tickets
Earlier this year, I decided to garner a boatload of daughter points all at once to make up for the fact that I moved 1,300 miles away from home. My dad came to visit me for Father’s Day, so I got us tickets to see the Baltimore Orioles play at Camden Yards. We both love baseball, and this would be ...
Surprise! Paul Pogba Is Still Really Damn Good
Following a half-season of angry training videos, notable benchings, and frothing tension, Paul Pogba wants you to remember that he can still do shit like this: ...
Duquesne Coach Keith Dambrot Lost His Mind Over A Late Blocking Foul
Duquesne, a 5.5-point underdog, played a back-and-forth game with Penn State last night. The Dukes led by seven at halftime, and they tied it on a pair of free throws with 10 seconds left....
José Mourinho's Failed Tenure At Manchester United Is Finally Over
After two-and-a-half bad and boring seasons at Manchester United, the club announced today in some euphemistic language that manager José Mourinho has been tossed out on his ass. This decision to get rid of Mourinho is both overdue and yet still surprising, which says so much about the ruinous state...
This Is How Liverpool Will Win The Premier League
Liverpool are legitimate contenders to win all the big trophies this season for the simple reason that their starting lineup is crammed full of players who are amongst the very best at their positions. Mohamed Salah, Virgil van Dijk, Alisson, Trent Alexander-Arnold, the forward line generally, the f...
American Soccer Is Fine
Zack Steffen, an American soccer player who currently plies his trade on U.S. soil, is set to join the English Premier League’s reigning champions. The Columbus Crew have announced that the MLS Goalkeeper of the Year will be moved to Manchester City Football Club next summer for an undisclosed trans...
It Must Suck So Hard To Be A Manchester United Fan
Try, if only for a moment, to go inside the mind of a Manchester United fan....
World-Famous Atlanta Strip Club Welcomes In A Little-Known Soccer Trophy For Some Booty Dancing
Millions of young boys around the world dream of one day making it inside Magic City, Atlanta’s internationally renowned strip club. Very few of those dreamers imagine it will be success in America’s bootleg soccer competition that will bring them there, but, for dreams, ends matter more than means....
Atlanta United's MLS Cup Victory Ends Michael Parkhurst's Agonizing Championship Drought
The city of Atlanta has a championship for the first time since 1995 thanks to the efforts of second-year MLS franchise Atlanta United. In front of an MLS Cup-record crowd of 73,019, United defeated the Portland Timbers 2-0 to bring their immaculate sophomore season to a close. ...
Shithead Soccer Fan Appears To Peg MLS Player In The Face With Trash
In the 22nd minute of the second leg of the MLS Eastern Conference Championship, underway Thursday night in New Jersey, a Red Bulls fan in the front row appeared to peg an item—possibly trash or a cup—into the face of Atlanta United midfielder Miguel Almirón:...
![Jeff Brohm's High School Receives Bomb Threat Over His Decision To Reject Louisville And Stay At Purdue [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/md3mcjyofeczrtxv4gwi.jpg)
Jeff Brohm's High School Receives Bomb Threat Over His Decision To Reject Louisville And Stay At Purdue [Update]
Jeff Brohm grew up in Louisville, played four years of football at Louisville in the early 1990s, and returned there after the end of his professional playing career to spend six seasons as an assistant coach under Bobby Petrino and Steve Kragthorpe. His ties to the state and his history at the scho...
Manchester United Score Late Winner, José Mourinho Freaks The Fuck Out
José Mourinho fancies himself something of a rock star, so it was fitting when he reacted to Marouane Fellaini rescuing Manchester United with a late winner by treating a couple water bottle carriers like a guitar and kick drum at the end of a metal show....
The Shifting Equations That Decide Who Lives And Dies In War
This piece is part of a recurring series that aims to be a complete guide to the laws of war. You can read previous entries here....
<i>Fortnite</i> Players Immediately Find Worst Possible Uses For New NFL Skins
In an attempt to burnish their brand in the eyes of the nation’s population of shrieking nine-year-olds who steal their mothers’ credit cards to cosplay John Wick in a bad video game, the NFL has partnered with Fortnite and released a bunch of official skins and other crap. Predictably, players imme...
José Mourinho Caps Quintessential Win With Quintessential Assholery
Juventus had little trouble bossing Manchester United in the Champions League today. The Italian team was in control for the vast majority of the match and, if not for some shaky finishing, probably would’ve won with ease. But even during this struggle of a season, United manager José Mourinho prove...
Remember When Donald Trump Asked If Pittsburgh Was Going To Bring Back Joe Paterno, Who Was Dead?
When Donald Trump is dropping remarkable word-turds every single day, some of them will inevitably be lost with the passage of time. In the last two weeks alone the Big Wet President has renamed a simpering fatberg “Beautiful Ted,” and he’s asked every man in an audience of 6,000 to raise his hand ...
Some Sicko Made These Senior Tour Golfers Try To Do <i>Fortnite</i> Dances
Pop culture gets absorbed by sports fairly quickly, but it has to travel light years farther to reach golf. That’s why some cruel person at the PGA is now making these senior tour pros try to recreate dances from Fortnite, the popular online video game that is also the reason you see all those kids ...
DC United's Nick DeLeon Scores Clutch Game-Tying Goal, Then Chokes Away Decisive Penalty Kick
Well this was all very dramatic. DC United were down 2–1 in the 116th minute of Thursday night’s knockout round match against Columbus Crew, until Nick DeLeon ripped home a clutch equalizer from the edge of the box off a blown clearance....
Life Must Go On During A Military Occupation
This piece is part of a recurring series that aims to be a complete guide to the laws of war. You can read previous entries here....