nit Page 182 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Keepers Wield More Than Just Guesswork In The Battle Against Penalty Kicks
Penalty kicks are bad. They’re dramatic and can be a fascinating experience out of context, but we don’t get to experience them out of context. We have to deal with penalties as a clumsy method of deterring fouls in the box and as a makeshift solution to tied games dragging on forever. The fact that...
A Taxonomy Of Calls For Unity In The Hardcore Scene
On Leap Day several years ago, Bold, the hardcore band, played the East Village coke den Lit Lounge’s packed basement in front of a hundred or two hundred people. The band, well into their middle age, hadn’t released a record since 1989, and are best known for punk songs they wrote as teenagers. Sin...
Cristiano Ronaldo Faces, Mostly Dodges Questions About The Rape Allegation Against Him
Today, Cristiano Ronaldo had his first public press conference since Las Vegas police earlier this month reopened a 2009 investigation of a rape allegation against him. The Juventus star was asked directly about the accusation, but he responded by primarily talking about how great his life is....
Everyone, Including The FA, Is Overreacting To The José Mourinho-Marco Ianni Thing
Just after Chelsea’s Ross Barkley scored the equalizer in the 96th minute of their match against Manchester United on Saturday, Chelsea assistant coach Marco Ianni ran onto the field in front of United manager José Mourinho, heaved an almighty fist pump, and then jogged back to his bench. As Ianni h...
Old Man Wayne Rooney Has Officially Dragged D.C. United Into The Playoffs
Three months after sitting at the bottom of the MLS’s Eastern Conference playoff race, D.C. United have secured a playoff spot, thanks to the efforts of Old Man Wayne Rooney. He scored two goals in today’s 3-1 victory against NYCFC to make the postseason berth official....
José Mourinho No Longer Tolerates Over-Celebrating, Apparently
After a second Anthony Martial goal put Manchester United up 2-1 against Chelsea in the 73rd minute, it looked like José Mourinho had inspired his side, yet again, to put in a second-half comeback performance to seal a win. Three point would have given Mourinho his first victory at Stamford Bridge s...
Sue Paterno Endorses Candidate Who Got Penn State Its Wins Back
Before someone tries convincing you that America’s relationship with college football is healthy, normal, and totally fine, remember this campaign video. Pennsylvania State Sen. Jake Corman is up for re-election this year; the Republican has been in the Commonwealth’s Senate since 1999, when he ran ...
What Is John Elway Talking About In This Inane Political Ad?
As a general rule, vague political advertisements are vague for a reason. Everything is broken and sinking and extremely on fire, but we’re not yet at the level of Shitworld where unpopular and unappealing ideas can effectively be presented as themselves and on their own merits. We are heading in th...
Old Man Wayne Rooney Adds Ridiculous Free-Kick Goal To MLS Highlight Reel
Former Manchester United star Wayne Rooney’s first season in MLS was already a huge success before last night’s game against Toronto. He came into it with nine goals and seven assists in 18 appearances, and as the owner of one of the best soccer highlights you’ll ever see. In the 18th minute of last...
Usain Bolt, Aspiring Soccer Player, Scores Two Goals In His First Start
Usain Bolt’s conversion from track star to soccer player continues apace. In August, Bolt got his first taste of the footy when he came off the bench for Australian team Central Coast Mariners in a friendly match and actually acquitted himself fairly decently. He built on that performance today, mak...
The USWNT Looks As Good As Ever And Is Rolling Toward The World Cup
CARY, N.C. — How are we not talking about this team all the time? Sustained dominance is easy to take for granted, sure. And as far as it has come in recent decades soccer still isn’t close to leading the sports conversation in the USA. These are answers, and they aren’t wrong, but they mostly evade...
José Mourinho's Job Saved By Former And Current Scapegoats
José Mourinho will likely survive another matchweek at Manchester United thanks thanks to an incredible comeback led by players who have few reasons to play hard for their manager....
José Mourinho Is Cornered
Usually when Manchester United manager José Mourinho—who has been presiding over a plummeting team full of star players who hate him—is backed up against a wall of his own failings, he reacts by talking some insane and/or defensive shit or by storming away in anger. In his pre-match press conference...
Nobody Was Prepared For The Horrors Modern Warfare Brought To Civilians
This piece is part of a recurring series that aims to be a complete guide to the laws of war. You can read previous entries here....
Canucks Ban Video Games On Road Trips, Because <i>Fortnite</i> Is Well On Its Way To Ruining The NHL
The Vancouver Canucks are a young team, so like seemingly all young men, their players are obsessed with Fortnite. They love it. Can’t get enough of it. Flossing and shit when they score goals. (So: rarely.) Locking themselves in their hotel rooms and gaming until the sun comes up, instead of the ti...
Ohio State Beat Penn State Thanks To The Season's Worst Play Call
Penn State running back Miles Sanders had just 45 rushing yards on 15 carries heading into the final play of Saturday’s Ohio State-Penn State thriller. But with the Nittany Lions facing a fourth-and-five just outside of field goal range, down 27-26 with a little over a minute to play, PSU coach Jame...
Let's Remember Some Guys: Treasure Trove Guys Volume IV
What a world, what a world. How, you might wonder, is someone to live in a world like this one, all crumbling and cruel and forsaken and loud? It’s a great question and honestly buddy I’ve got nothing for you there. But I can tell you this much: if you have in your possession a box full of random ol...
Some Types Of Pain Are More Valuable Than Others
It’s both a truism and true that politics is about power, how it’s used and who it’s used against. But politics are also about the business of pain—about which individuals and which communities bear how much and at what cost, and so implicitly whose pain is worth more than others. Everyone lives in ...
Manitoba Admits It Got Conned, Gives Up On Winnipeg's CFL Stadium Ever Actually Paying For Itself
Build a stadium!, they say. It’ll pay for itself! It’ll spur economic development in the surrounding neighborhood! It never does. For every single city/county/state/province that falls for it, eventually there comes the moment when they have to admit they got bamboozled. It’s Manitoba’s turn now....
Fastest Shed Crushes Fastest Shed's Speed Record
Imagine you are in a small building. The building has wheels. The building can move—vroom, vroom. The building has an engine that has recently exploded and resulted in months of mechanical issues afterward. Now imagine that you are in this building and you are making it do what Kevin Nicks did on S...