nit Page 197 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Chelsea Literally Own "José Mourinho"

If you’re wondering why it’s been taking Manchester United and José Mourinho to seal their inevitable marriage, you’re not alone. With all the big things like salary and years and the like already hammered out per reports, all that’s left are the small details. Only the small details in internationa...

Who's Behind The Louis van Gaal Smear Campaign?

We’re reportedly only hours away from Manchester United’s beleaguered manager Louis van Gaal finally getting the ax, and maybe only days away from the similarly inevitable announcement that José Mourinho’s ass will replace van Gaal’s in that gilded though bloodstained manager’s seat at Old Trafford....

Manchester United Win The FA Cup, Once Again Dashing Crystal Palace's Dreams

There was a full two minutes back there—three, practically—when Crystal Palace looked as if it might pull off the greatest victory in its 110-year history. Having been outplayed till then in the FA Cup, Joel Ward put in a sort of cross just as midfielder Jason Puncheon sprinted beyond the pack. Punc...

Manchester Police: "Incredibly Lifelike" Explosive Device "Not Viable" [UPDATE]

Police have concluded their assessment of the suspicious package that led to the abandonment of today’s Manchester United-Bournmouth match, concluding that while the device was “incredibly lifelike,” it was “not viable.”...

Suspicious Package At Old Trafford Leads To Match Abandonment [UPDATING]

Manchester United’s match against Bournemouth has been abandoned after a “Code Red” situation led to stands being evacuated and the discovery of a suspicious package....

Meanwhile, At The Soccer Halftime Show

How to not only get away with LARPing in public but actually be featured as an MLS match halftime show: declare it to be “Star Wars Night.”...

Why Are Bad Laws Still Protecting Penn State And Temple? 

The Penn State defense is so well-practiced, so perfected, that by now you can practically write it yourself. The accusations are unsubstantiated; too much time has passed; nobody remembers; there are no records. The language changes from email to email and statement to statement as the university b...

The Atmosphere At The Boleyn Ground Last Night Was Fantastic

Yesterday’s West Ham-Manchester United match began with United’s bus getting smashed up and ended with United blowing a gilt-edged chance to make the Champions League, losing 3-2. ...

A Bunch Of West Ham Fans Attack Manchester United's Bus, Delaying Game

Right now, West Ham and Manchester United should be well into a crucial Premier League match, the final one at West Ham’s famed Boleyn Ground stadium. Instead, police postponed the game for 45 minutes because West Ham fans went crazy United’s team bus:...

Manchester United Have A Golden Opportunity; Let's See If They Blow It

Somehow, after yet another disappointing season, Manchester United still have so much to play for....

PSU Prez Slams "Unsubstantiated" Accusations From Alleged Sandusky Victims

Penn State president Eric Barron responded to revelations that Joe Paterno may have known about Jerry Sandusky’s abuse of children as early as 1971 and that as many as six of Paterno’s assistants personally witnessed Sandusky molesting children with an angry open letter declaring that the stories “s...

CNN: Sandusky Victim Says Joe Paterno Ordered Him To Drop Accusation

CNN’s Sara Ganim reports a man who says Jerry Sandusky raped him in 1971 claims to have been ordered to drop the accusation by Joe Paterno himself....

NBC: As Many As Six Penn State Coaches Witnessed Jerry Sandusky Molesting Children

As many as six Joe Paterno assistants personally witnessed Jerry Sandusky abusing children, NBC News revealed today. That report comes on the heels of testimony given in Penn State’s lawsuit against its insurer revealed this week, alleging Paterno knew of Sandusky molesting children as early as 1976...

Court Opinion Reveals Joe Paterno Reportedly Knew Of Jerry Sandusky Molesting Children As Early As 1976

Philadelphia County judge Gary Glazer’s opinion today in a lawsuit between Penn State and its insurance company revealed that witnesses testified Joe Paterno knew about Jerry Sandusky’s abuse of children as early as 1976. Other witnesses in the case report members of the coaching staff observed “ina...

Louis van Gaal: Hair-Pulling Is Only Cool When You're Fucking

During yesterday’s Manchester United-Leicester City match, professional agitators Marouane Fellaini and Robert Huth got into the little tiff you see above. Huth grabbed a handful of Fellaini’s ‘fro and gave it a yank, which Fellaini responded to by throwing an elbow and a slap toward Huth’s head....

Everybody Watch A-Rod Aggressively Rub His Lumber

Oooh, yeah....

This Is Marvelous

Manchester United Reach FA Cup Final With 93rd-Minute Goal

Anthony Martial scored the winner in the third minute of stoppage time as Manchester United overcame an own goal to beat Everton in today’s FA Cup semifinal, 2-1....

Is This Kelly Tripucka's Scrote Or What?

An observant reader has alerted us to the existence of Kelly Tripucka’s 1986-87 Fleer basketball card, which certainly appears to feature a bit of Tripucka’s sac. ...

USA Beats Canada In Overtime To Claim Women's World Hockey Championship

The United States defeated Canada for the third straight time in claiming its seventh IIHF women’s world championship tonight when Alex Carpenter scored at 12:30 of the overtime period in Kamloops....