nit Page 198 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
A Reminder That Anthony Martial Is Still A Goddamn Child
It’s easy to lose sight of the fact that, notwithstanding his huge transfer fee and his multimillion-dollar salary and his formidable size and his surprisingly advanced game, underneath it all, Manchester United forward Anthony Martial is still just a kid....
Aww, Look At These Real Soccer Players Letting The Goalie Score For Once
This is quite remarkable. Not the goal itself—which West Ham’s Adrián scored in a meaningless testimonial match—but the impulse behind it....
Penn State Coach James Franklin Destroys Easter Bunny Piñata With Flying Tackle
Happy Easter everyone!...
Jurgen Klinsmann Blew It
The United States Men’s National Team will probably qualify for the 2018 World Cup in Russia. Yes, they are trailing Guatemala and Trinidad and Tobago in the Group C standings. Yes, they have played conservatively without the defensive ability to make that style work. A day after the U.S. got humili...
Oh No
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This Dumb Keeper Is Soccer's New Trickster God
Just look at this idiot. Maritzburg United goalkeeper Glenn Verbauwhede, of the South African Premier Soccer League, has developed an incredibly crazy strategy of baiting referees into giving opponents fouls. First, he lures opposing players into his personal space, then intentionally lunges at thei...
What On Earth Is Going On With José Mourinho's Manchester United Pre-Contract?
We can all agree that the big takeaway from the pre-contract José Mourinho has reportedly signed with Manchester United is the simple fact that, after a few months on the sidelines, no doubt stewing over the calamity that was his final season at Chelsea, our man Mourinho will almost certainly be bac...
Aleksandar Mitrovic Celebrates With Idiot On The Field After Scoring A Late Equalizer
Newcastle tied up Sunderland late to secure a 1-1 draw. Aleksandar Mitrovic scored the equalizer, and was understandably pumped since it came in the 83rd minute against a rival. Mitrovic ran away from all his buddies to celebrate with this jeans-wearing Geordie....
Report: It's Mourinho Time, Baby!
The best parts of the first half of this very weird Premier League season were most certainly Chelsea melting down and playing like dogpiss and also all the wacky hijinks José Mourinho got himself into. Now, according to El Pais (Sp.), our hero has signed a “pre-contract agreement” with Manchester U...
Manuel Lanzini Rocket Goal Puts West Ham Up On Chelsea
Chelsea fell behind at home once again this morning, though it’s hard to blame them for this Manuel Lanzini screamer from outside the box. The Blues haven’t much but pride to play for at this point, and strikes like this from the Argentine aren’t helping....
Ice-Cold Coutinho Skates By Defense, Daggers Manchester United With A Sweet Chip
Here is Liverpool’s Philippe Coutinho easing down the Manchester United flank, floating into the box, then coolly flipping the ball over keeper David De Gea with about as much difficulty and exertion as you or I would jog out to the grocery store to pick up a carton of chocolate milk:...
Penn State Running Back Saquon Barkley Is Young And Strong
Here is Saquon Barkley, freshman running back at Penn State, lifting a great deal of weight like it’s no big deal:...
Julian Büscher's First Professional Goal Is A Long-Range Doozy
DC United just got knocked out of the quarterfinals of the CONCACAF Champions League, 3-1 on aggregate by Mexican side Querétaro. At least their lone goal—scored by German rookie Julian Büscher, in his second ever match for the club—was an absolute beauty, as Buescher smacked in a fishtailing rocket...
The Premier League Title Race Is Impossibly Close And So Much Fun
The enduring memory of this weekend’s Premier League action—from Leicester flirting with disaster against Norwich before pulling it out late on Saturday, to Tottenham and Arsenal struggling to keep their own title hopes alive against Swansea and Manchester United, respectively—is just how stupidly f...
Everybody Get Down
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Marcus Rashford Cannot Be Stopped, Scores Twice On Arsenal In The First Half
Seriously, how did some random kid in Manchester, called up to the United first team purely because of an almost comical, unending stream of injuries, turn into something like the best striker in England in less than a week?...
Defender Admits Manchester United's Memphis Depay Beat His Ass So Bad He Almost Cried
While virtually unknown striker Marcus Rashford’s unbelievable and hilarious two-goal senior team debut was the biggest story coming out of yesterday’s Manchester United-Midtjylland match, the true star on the day was Memphis Depay. He absolutely obliterated the Midtjylland defense, running up and d...
![Right Now, Manchester United Must Rely On Some Unknown Teen To Save Their Season [Update: HE'S FUCKING DOING IT]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/ysq02t1fnmv0ryalypvi.jpg)
Right Now, Manchester United Must Rely On Some Unknown Teen To Save Their Season [Update: HE'S FUCKING DOING IT]
In their usually fruitless quest to prove they can still compete with the truly elite clubs in world soccer, Manchester United have apparently decided to challenge Bayern Munich for the title of World’s Most Injured Squad. Just a little while ago, the one bright spot during this season of frustratio...
Louis van Gaal Urges His Players To Get Rock Hard For Victory
So that’s what Louis van Gaal means when he says he pumps up Manchester United’s players before matches....
Who's Responsible When A Couch In The Road Causes An Accident?
Welcome back to Ask a Lawyer, wherein I, a lawyer, respond to your questions. Got a vexing legal issue? Send it over, or drop it in the comments below....