nit Page 199 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Reluctant Mascot Is Reluctant
We don’t blame you, kid. Nobody wants to shake a referee’s hand. ...
This Is What Memphis Depay Can Do
Soccer fans: meet Memphis. Memphis, likewise. This is why Manchester United paid all that money for the man heralded as the next Ronaldo. Well, this and United’s equalizer after Club Brugge scored first, saving a return of the old Lolunited tag....
Deadspin 25: Penn State, Which Will Hopefully Suck A Little Less
Welcome to the Deadspin 25, a college football poll that strives to be more democratic and less useless than every other preseason poll. Leading up to the college football season kickoff, we will give you previews of the 25 teams that you, the readers, voted to be most worthy of writing about. We st...
Richie Incognito Blasts NFL's Handling Of Misconduct Investigations
After missing an entire NFL season because of reasons that totally weren’t collusion among NFL owners, Richie Incognito is back. He is in training camp with the Bills, and last week was named the starting left guard by Rex Ryan. ...
The First Goal Of The Premier League Season Is ... An Own Goal
Here it is, the day we’ve all been waiting for: the return of the EPL. Manchester United-Tottenham is our opener, and though Spurs started brightly, all their good work was undone thanks to a terrible pass by Nabil Bentaleb. It wasn’t the prettiest season-christening goal, but we’ll take it....
The Best Of The Best: Our 2015-16 Premier League Preview, Pt. 3
You’ve made it to the third and final installment of our Premier League preview, and what lies below is a rundown of what we at Deadspin consider the six (6) least bad teams in all of England’s top flight. This thirdish of the league is important because this is where teams are fighting for all-impo...
José Mourinho Has No Use For This Loser's Medal, Or For Arsène Wenger
Arsenal beat Chelsea 1-0 today to win their second straight Community Shield, and it appears Chelsea manager José Mourinho has about as much use for the match as the rest of us. Here he is avoiding congratulating rival manager Arsène Wenger and then throwing his second-place medal up into the crowd....
CONCACAF'd
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Canadians Angry After Being Told They Smell Like Maple Syrup
In Monday’s writeup of Canada’s baseball team defeating the United States in the Pan American Games, I made some jokes at the expense of the gold-medal winners. Specifically, I said they suck and probably smell like maple syrup. Tuesday, I followed up with a recap of Canada’s gold in women’s basketb...
A Whole Lot Of Leeds And Eintracht Frankfurt Fans Beat Up On Each Other
It’s that time of the year again, when Europe’s teams have commenced their preseason programs to prepare for the upcoming campaign. Fans, too, are using their teams’ friendlies to tune up their brawling skills, as we witnessed yesterday when Leeds United and Eintracht Frankfurt fans got to scrapping...
Canada Wins Gold In Women's Basketball But Who Cares
Canada, the moose-humping failed state to the north, won gold in women’s basketball at the Pan Am Games after beating the United States 81-73 Monday night. Whatever, hosers....
USA Rugby cut former captain Todd Clever from its Pacific Nations Cup squad for “multiple squad conduct violations.” Know any more? Email us at [email protected]. [USA Rugby]...
This Is Not Efficient Basketball
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Take That, Cuba!
Clint Dempsey put the U.S. up 1-0 on a defection-ravaged Cuban team in the fourth minute of today’s Gold Cup quarterfinal in Baltimore. ...
Sad Little Man Utd Fan Is Just Bawling Over Robin van Persie Transfer
Aww, there there little Louis. When we imagined Manchester United fans crying over Robin van Persie’s impending move to Turkey, we thought they’d be tears of joy. Chin up, kid. The Memphis Depay era should be a good one....
USA Score, Finally, As Dempsey Puts Yanks Up 1-0 On Haiti
A thus-far uninspired performance by the U.S. has, at least, resulted in a goal and once again it’s Clint Dempsey who scored to put his side up 1-0 on Haiti in tonight’s Gold Cup match at the Patriots’ stadium in Foxborough. Let’s not let Deuce take all the credit, though he’s certainly earned it th...
Sentient Lacrosse Stick/Kicker Trolls Big Ten, Commits To Penn State
This here is Quinn Nordin, and today he committed to Penn State. Below, you’ll find a video he and a friend put together announcing his commitment, set to “Coming Home.” It makes no real sense in the first place—he’s from Michigan—and involving some sort of small, fixed-wing aircraft makes it even m...
Cup Check!
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Dear Jon Stewart: Thanks For The Ride, Motherfucker
Good day to you, Jon Stewart. I never thought my first Dear Jon letter would explode with expletives, but ever since you, puckish fake newsman, hit what used to be called the small screen with your volcanic potty mouth and flagrant disregard for FCC regulations, you managed to disable just about eve...