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Marcus Rashford Cannot Be Stopped, Scores Twice On Arsenal In The First Half
Seriously, how did some random kid in Manchester, called up to the United first team purely because of an almost comical, unending stream of injuries, turn into something like the best striker in England in less than a week?...
Defender Admits Manchester United's Memphis Depay Beat His Ass So Bad He Almost Cried
While virtually unknown striker Marcus Rashford’s unbelievable and hilarious two-goal senior team debut was the biggest story coming out of yesterday’s Manchester United-Midtjylland match, the true star on the day was Memphis Depay. He absolutely obliterated the Midtjylland defense, running up and d...
![Right Now, Manchester United Must Rely On Some Unknown Teen To Save Their Season [Update: HE'S FUCKING DOING IT]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/ysq02t1fnmv0ryalypvi.jpg)
Right Now, Manchester United Must Rely On Some Unknown Teen To Save Their Season [Update: HE'S FUCKING DOING IT]
In their usually fruitless quest to prove they can still compete with the truly elite clubs in world soccer, Manchester United have apparently decided to challenge Bayern Munich for the title of World’s Most Injured Squad. Just a little while ago, the one bright spot during this season of frustratio...
Louis van Gaal Urges His Players To Get Rock Hard For Victory
So that’s what Louis van Gaal means when he says he pumps up Manchester United’s players before matches....
Who's Responsible When A Couch In The Road Causes An Accident?
Welcome back to Ask a Lawyer, wherein I, a lawyer, respond to your questions. Got a vexing legal issue? Send it over, or drop it in the comments below....
The Manchester United Backroom Power Struggle Theory We Desperately Hope Is True
There’s simply never enough intrigue and entertainment to be had from Manchester United to fully sate our appetite. Either they’re crushing all opponents at home and abroad, as they did during Alex Ferguson’s tenure, or they’re shitting all over themselves, the way they have in the few years since S...
Manchester United Are Toast
With a third of the Premier League season left, Manchester United find themselves in fifth place, six points behind Manchester City and the all-important fourth Champions League spot. It’s not impossible for United to pass City, but given their inconsistency this season it’s unlikely....
Allen Robinson Got A Tattoo Of His Own Highlight-Reel Catch
If you’re a Penn State fan, you probably remember current Jaguars receiver Allen Robinson’s leaping catch that set up the game-tying touchdown in the 2013 Homecoming game against Michigan. From this point forward, you will also remember that catch if you ever see Robinson with his shirt off:...
USWNT Players Association Files Withering Response To U.S. Soccer Lawsuit
U.S. Soccer’s lawsuit against the U.S. Women’s National Team Players Association seeks to answer a seemingly simple question: Do the two organizations have a valid collective bargaining agreement, or not?...
Chelsea's Kurt Zouma Stretchered Off After Nasty Knee Injury [Warning: Graphic]
Chelsea center back Kurt Zouma went down in a heap after going up for this header and coming down with knee bent the wrong way. He immediately (and audibly) began screaming, and was stretchered off the pitch. ...
Anthony Martial Is Manchester United's Best Player, And That's Their Problem
Judging by the club’s post-Alex Ferguson travails, it would’ve been perfectly fitting if Anthony Martial—Manchester United’s last-minute solution to their attacking woes, who cost the club about two arms and four legs—would’ve turned out to be a bust....
U.S. Women's National Team Sued By U.S. Soccer Federation
The United States Soccer Federation sued the union representing Women’s National Team members in federal court Wednesday, an action sure to further fray the already strained bond between the two groups....
Everything NBA Broadcasters Have Said About Jeremy Lin's Hair This Season
Jeremy Lin has enjoyed a solid year backing up Kemba Walker for the Charlotte Hornets. After the inferno that was Linsanity, he didn’t become a superstar, but he also did not drop off the face of the map. He’s just sort of a guy, a decent back up point guard on an okay team....
Chris Martin's Masterful Assist Sets Up Equalizer For Derby County
Manchester United is even 1-1 with Championship side Derby County at the half of their FA Cup match after George Thorne found the net courtesy a gorgeous over-the-top pass from Chris Martin....
Russell Wilson Googled "How To Describe A Beautiful Woman" To Find Something Nice To Say About Ciara
Yesterday was Woman Crush Wednesday on Twitter, so Seahawks quarterback Russell Wilson decided to offer an encomium to the light and love of his life, Ciara:...
Oh, Hello
This morning, your Premiership highlights are brought to you by horrified woman in the background....
Joe Hart's Tremendous Save Brings Russell Brand To His Feet In Anguish
Man City keeper Joe Hart kept his side even with West Ham United with a brilliant save of a Dimitry Payet free kick that brought anguish to the supporters at Upton Park—especially Russell Brand, in attendance with pal Noel Gallagher. Depending on whether you think Brand is an asshole or if you think...
Read The Leaked Transfer Agreement Between Manchester United And Monaco For Anthony Martial
Manchester United paid Monaco €50 million ($54.5 million) in September for teenage striking sensation Anthony Martial, a fee that will almost assuredly rise to €70 million ($76.2 million) and could rise to €80 million ($87.1 million) in the next few years. This in the neighborhood of what was report...