nit Page 244 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Manchester United Actually Kicked Arsenal's Soul's Ass Today, Too
Man U 8, Arsenal 2. That's a lot of goals. Wayne Rooney had three of them. But Ashley Young, he had a really pretty one....

Rival Soccer Players Know To Expect That Newcastle United's Joey Barton "Will Come In Your Face"
If your tongue absolutely, positively must slip during a sports interview, why not sound as if you're talking sexually when, in fact, you're talking about a rival's tenacity on the English Premier League pitch? This is what happened to Fulham's Philippe Senderos when asked about Newcastle United's...

The U.S. Is Not Even Trying To Host The Olympics Anymore
"America's next chance to host an Olympics would be the 2022 Winter Games. Denver and the Reno/Tahoe area have expressed interest, though the USOC would put the same caveats on a bid for those games—that there would be no attempt unless the revenue-sharing deal is worked out and the relationship wit...

Deadspin I-Team: Which Miami Player Necessitated A Stripper's Abortion?
The latest Yahoo Sports NCAA investigation is more of the usual: a lot of investigative horsepower and details devoted to NCAA rules that don't make a whole lot of sense in the first place. But, as Barry tweeted, this story, unlike SI's Tressel investigations, has stripper abortions....

I-Team: Help Us Solve The Mystery Of Mitch Albom's Ears
Tipster Chad D. (or Chadd?) writes in, [sic]s and all:...

Watch Nani's Pretty Half-Pitch Injury Time Goal To Clinch Manchester United's Comeback
This goal, from Nani, in stoppage time, is a triumph of all kinds of speed. Wayne Rooney ain't that fast....

Will ESPN's Coverage Of Northwestern's Dan Persa Convince ESPN To Cover Dan Persa? ESPN Investigates
This is a story on ESPN.com about a Heisman marketing campaign launched by Northwestern on behalf of quarterback Dan Persa. The school has purchased billboard space not in Times Square but in Bristol, Conn., near ESPN headquarters. "Northwestern," writes ESPN's Adam Rittenberg on ESPN.com, "is hopin...

Here's Video Of Manchester United's Goalkeeper Getting Frozen In Place On A Barcelona Goal
With his Barcelona side down a goal in the 70th minute against Man U in D.C. tonight, Thiago took a shot from about 20 yards out. It went upper 90 with the quickness. Poor David De Gea, the new Reds keeper, moved about a twentieth of a foot before the goal netting snapped back....

Watch A Linesman Fall During The MLS All-Star Game
Linesman tries to get out of the way of a soccer ball. Linesman flies to the ground in dramatic fashion. Could've been worse. Linesman could've been an All-Star team that lost 4-0 to a foreign squad playing a preseason game....

Your MLS All-Star Game Open Thread
The fan-favorite best roster that Major League Soccer has to offer will try to avenge last year's 5-2 All-Star ass-whooping at the hands of a Chicharito-less, EPL-champion Manchester United side tonight. Good luck with that....

Kansas City's MLS Team Compiled Laughable, Stereotype-Filled Video To Introduce Its Canadian Opponent
This introduction video, via KCKRS, is perhaps the greatest semi-official compilation of cheap Canadian stereotypes known to man....

Omar Little Will Appear As A Fresh-Out-Of-Prison Biology Professor On Community
Television changed this morning the moment when actor Michael Kenneth Williams stated via Twitter, "For all the community peeps out there it's official look for me in up coming eps." Translation: Omar from The Wire is comin' to NBC's Community. It's nice to see he made it through the whole Kenard ...

Everybody Feared The Worst When Old Man Brent Musburger Went Rogue In Vegas For A Spell
Your morning roundup for July 23, the day after we learned that high-school tennis coaches really might want to stay away from strip-club ownership....

An Entire Section Of DC United Fans Planked At Last Night's Game
Well, planking just won't die. We thought it had, over the weekend. But maybe soccer fans based in DC don't watch morning news in Dallas....

UAE Soccer Player May Be Punished For "Disrespectful"-But-Also-Awesome Backheel Penalty Kick
On Sunday, Theyab Awana, a 21-year-old winger with the United Arab Emirates national team, scored on a penalty kick in a friendly against Lebanon. Only he did it off of a 180 and using his heel. UAE was up 5-2 at the time, and they ultimately won 7-2, so the stakes weren't very high for either tea...

Manchester United Visits Harvard, Front-Running Snobs Everywhere Rejoice
Manchester United is in the Boston area to battle the MLS's New England Revolution tomorrow, as part of something called the World Football Challenge. Man U's playing a bunch of MLS teams on a summer tour....

Who Wants To See Charlie Davies (Mostly) Naked?
I've been dispatched by the other 90 percent of the Deadspin staff to share with you these photos of Charlie Davies, the starting striker for D.C. United who suffered bleeding in the brain, a ruptured bladder, a broken tibia, femur, and elbow, and multiple facial fractures in a car accident in Octob...

Deadspin's 2011 NHL Entry Draft Running Diary
Welcome to Deadspin's first and likely last annual NHL Draft Diary. Follow along with due reverence for the most thrilling pageant in all of sport....

Your NHL Draft Open Thread
Here's your draft order. Expect a lot of Canadians and Europeans to get picked. Expect interviews with, and commentary from, guys named Gord. The TSN simulcast is on Versus, right about now....

Nine Reasons To Watch The NHL Draft, Which I Think Is Tonight
Everybody knows the NHL Entry Draft—quietly the most exciting draft in all of pro sports—is tonight (7 p.m., Versus), unless it isn't, but I'm pretty sure it is....