nit Page 244 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Small-Business Owner Does Not Appreciate Young Turk Messing With His Bushes
When you have a row of bushes in front of your shop, you want them to look pristine. A well-tended exterior shows your business is also well-tended. It's understandable you'd be upset if skateboarders repeatedly fucked with your shit....

Penn State Fans Mistake Halloween Costume For Michigan Gear, Kick Guy's Ass
Four PSU fans mistook another man's blue-and-yellow costume for UMich colors, and broke his nose at Beaver Stadium. They also bought a dude in a zombie costume a drink, thinking he was Joe Paterno. [Centre Daily Times]...

Chicharito Comes To The Rescue For Manchester United (Again)
Last night the Mexican came off the bench in the final ten minutes against Wolves to drag a lackluster United side through the Carling Cup quarter finals....

Deadspin I-Team: Rangers Fan Perxtraordinaire
I've contemplated it for the better part of a day and have decided to press forward: People of Texas, on behalf of commenting/emailing Deadspin Nation, I implore you to share anything, and everything, you can about Miss Bounces-in-Red....

Balaclava-Clad Man United Mob Lays Siege To Wayne Rooney’s House, Makes Death Threats
The following is a special presentation of The Spoiler. Wayne Rooney signed a new deal with Manchester United today, however, news of what transpired last night is juicy, funny, a little frightening, and could hold the reason for his change of heart....

Boy, I Bet This Fan Regrets Threatening Wayne Rooney's Life Now
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Phillies Fan Puking On The Field Is Definitely Puking On The Field
Brian posted this in Wake Up yesterday, but this needs to be seen again and pored over like the Zapruder Tape. Let's theorize, shall we?...

Teammate: Wayne Rooney Is "Working Class" And "Vulgar"
While most of us can't wait for this international break to be over, Man United's Federico Macheda will be hoping time goes really slowly while he's away with Italy's U21 squad, after making an "ill-advised" comment about his willy-swinging teammate Wayne Rooney....

This Is A Praying Mantis Bodyslamming A Hummingbird
It's not so easy to flap your wings up to 90 times a second when you're getting smashed into the concrete by two spiked forelegs, is it hummingbird? H/T I Like Cheap Beer...

Rio Ferdinand Refuses To Sit During Flight To Valencia In Order To Protect His Flimsy Back
Before we start, here's an unbelievable stat: Rio Ferdinand has missed 61 of Manchester United's last 103 games. That must be very near, or even worse than, benchmark crock Ledley King?...

Here's The Address Of The Place LeBron James Is Apparently Buying (With Pictures!)
LeBron James has apparently scaled back his South Florida housing aspirations. Initially said to be ogling a $49.5 million, 11-bathroom castle, he's reportedly grabbing a $7.65 million villa in an enclave named for Howard Hughes of crazy-long fingernails fame....

Hockey To Get The <i>Hard Knocks</i> Treatment Too
HBO will film the Capitals and Penguins this December for a four-episode Hard Knocks-esque miniseries. Will there be Ryanian pottymouthage? "You might hear some salty language with a little Canadian or Russian flair," said a network exec. моргала выколю, падла!...

After Enough Time Had Passed, Cousin Itt Finally Forgave Them For Imploding The Vet
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Antonio Valencia Has One More Broken Leg Than Usual
During the Red Devils recent match against Glasgow Rangers, winger Antonio Valencia was challenged by the aptly named Kirk Broadfoot and ended up suffering a compound fracture in his leg. He will miss the remainder of the season. [Goal.com, H/T JRG]...

Jet Blue: A Multimedia Analysis Of Rex Ryan's Swearing, Week 5
Every week, Alan Siegel and Deadspin's crack video team will break down Rex Ryan's frequent use of profanity on HBO's Hard Knocks. Episode 5: The season ends with a "fucking" flurry....

Deadspin I-Team: The Case Of Owen Wilson Urinating In Public
See that photo, I-Team? That's the guy from Marmaduke pissing on a golf course yesterday. Yes, he's wearing a Warriors shirt. But there is so much more to know, I-Team. That's where you come into play....

Tiger Woods Can't Stop Swearing, Breaking Promises To Stop Swearing
Tiger Woods, whether he's chastising himself or enthusiastically congratulating a friend, cannot stop swearing—around his kids, no less. Oh fuck no....

Bernard Pollard Tells Reggie Wayne Off
When he isn't maiming members of the Patriots, Bernard Pollard moonlights as one of the better safeties in the NFL. However, as Reggie Wayne learned yesterday, Pollard isn't doing any of this all that quietly. H/T Mike and Tim....

Jet Blue: A Multimedia Analysis Of Rex Ryan's Swearing, Week 4
Every week, Alan Siegel and Deadspin's crack video team will break down Rex Ryan's frequent use of profanity on HBO's Hard Knocks. Episode 4: After a two-week hiatus, "fuck" reclaims the top spot in the rankings....

Tony Blair Turned To Sir Alex Ferguson For Advice
Much hullabaloo in the UK press at the moment over Tony Blair's recently published memoirs, in which, by all accounts, he comes across as a bit of an egotistical chap....