nit Page 246 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
West Ham Can't Even Keep Its Hooligans Out Of The Team's Year-End Banquet
West Ham United threw itself a little end-of-season awards banquet on Monday night in London (to celebrate, ostensibly, West Ham's relegation after finishing last in the Premier League). Some of the team's fans attended the banquet, which turned out to be a very bad idea indeed:...
Wayne Rooney Decided To Send A Message With Chest Hair Today
After his side clinched a record 19th English Premier League title with 1-1 draw vs. the Blackburn Rovers, cheeky Manchester United star Wayne Rooney simply posted, "Champions http://yfrog.com/h2cjceij."...
Man U Manager Alex Ferguson Charged With Earnestly Complimenting A Referee
Sir Alex Ferguson, manager of Manchester United who recently served a five-game suspension and paid a £30,000 fine for criticizing a referee after a 2-1 loss in March, has once again been charged with improper conduct for publicly speaking about a referee....
An Update On Telling You Which Soccer Player Had An Affair With This Lady
We felt very bad last time. We hate blind items (though we did guess Ryan Giggs). But there's this thing in the UK where celebrities can get court-ordered injunctions against newspapers publishing items about their personal lives. They're called injunctions, and lots of celebrities have them, and to...
Phil Jackson Agrees That His Career Has Been The "Bee's Knees"
Your morning roundup for May 9, the day we learned of the Village tree thief....
Presenting The 18-Minute Video Of Shin-Soo Choo's Failed Roadside Sobriety Test
Your morning roundup for May 5, the day a former vice president wants you to thank "enhanced interrogation" for the current president's visit to Ground Zero....
Tinfoil Hatters Have Something To Talk About For Man U-Chelsea
That's referee Howard Webb over there. A photoshop of him actually, because he doesn't really wear a Manchester United kit while refereeing. He wears a referee's shirt. After a controversial FA Cup match in January, with some controversial decisions going United's way, Liverpool player Ryan Babel po...
Before Returning To Lockout Mode, Every NFL Franchise Decided Against Drafting A Bone-Cancer Survivor
Your morning roundup for May 1, the day after Seth Meyers said Weekend Update stuff to people's faces....
Juan Agudelo Scored A Special Goal Against DC United Last Night
It's weird to see an American striker do this. We're so used to our forwards scoring as a function of being in the right place at the right time. Agudelo scored last night despite bad service and good marking. He created this goal out of nothing. No more Jozy Altidore comparisons, please....
Jackass Columnist Blames Pitcher For Choosing Childbirth Over Pitching
I'm not a local, so I don't know how much of Dallas Observer columnist Richie Whitt's schtick might be part of his on-air radio personality, but I'm still going to bring your attention to this gem of a column:...
The Tax Man's Charges Against Lenny Dykstra Actually Involve A Kitchen Sink
Your morning roundup for April 16, the day Ralphie turns 40, making a whole lot of people question their very mortality, their confidence as fra-gee-lay as a leglamp....
OK, Bleacher Report. You Win.
A Bleacher Report writer uses Harrison Barnes to boost readership for a story about writers using Harrison Barnes to boost readership for their stories. This is where space-time folds in on itself. [Bleacher Report, H/T Brandon]...
Semin Leads The Capitals To Sweet, Sweaty Extended-Time Victory
Your morning roundup for April 14, the day San Dimas High School football no longer rules in the eyes of the Chinese government....
Here's Your Champions League Open Thread
Two games on this afternoon: Shakhtar Donetsk takes on Barcelona at Donbass Arena, and Manchester United hosts Chelsea at Old Trafford Stadium. They both start at 2:45, and with Chelsea down a goal on aggregate, they must win to advance. But Wayne Rooney, threat to already-cursing children everywher...
Charlie Davies Attempts To Save His Failed Goal Celebration By Doing "The Bernie"
Since he returned to professional soccer in late March, Charlie Davies appears to be having a great time. The 24-year-old has scored four goals in three games for D.C. United, which has him on loan from the French club FC Sochaux; the latest tally was this late-game penalty kick against the Galaxy...
A Bunch Of Guys Who Dyed Their Hair Blondish Won The NCAA Hockey Championship Last Night
Your morning roundup for April 10, the day a Virginia elementary school principal assures you the fourth-grade teacher didn't really put black and mixed-race students up for sale....
Mystery Solved: Courtside Guy At Bulls Games Is Matt Pritzker, And He Is Very, Very Rich
I-Team, you may stand down. So many of you have written in to solve today's mystery about the young fellow who sits courtside at Chicago Bulls games....
I-Team, Do You Know Who This Perpetually Courtside Bulls Fan Is?
Busy day for you guys, we recognize. But tipster Tom has written in with a pressing question:...
Real Men Support The Cleveland Indians By Kissing One Another On Live Television
Your morning roundup for April 7, the day that attempted courtroom eye-gouging became a no-no....
The Dodgers Seemingly Want Their Fans To Stop Beating People Into Comas
Six days after a San Francisco Giants fan was brutally beaten outside Dodger Stadium, former LAPD Chief William Bratton has been hired to review security at and around the park. Said team owner Frank McCourt, Bratton will "lead a top-to-bottom review of our current practices and make recommendation...